Feeling hopeless and unsure

[nsuth44]

Not sure why I'm even writing this but just kind of felt like writing. I've been dealing with some pretty heavy depression and anxiety lately and can't figure out what is wrong with me.

I'm struggling to understand life in general and feel like my sense of reality is warped. Everything seems pointless and I'm constantly confused. I somehow get through every day but not sure how. I wake up in the morning confused and not wanting to leave my bed. My dreams are vivid and I'm struggling to distinguish between dreams and reality.

I feel completely detached from everything going on around me. I do the things I have to every day like eat, clean and work out but it all feels pointless. I literally have no emotions and enjoy doing nothing. I'm constantly scared of dying and can't just enjoy life.

I can't tell if something is physically wrong with me or if it is all in my head. I'm on lexapro, riperdal and buspirone and I can't tell what they are even doing for me. I see a therapist but I feel like it doesn't really help.

Sorry for the long post but I just needed to write and express what's going on even though it's difficult.

[kenster1]

h your not alone anymore that's for sure.maybe you should have a review of your medications.i felt like you after my mum died but I got through it but it was hard going I was waiting for it change rather than going about making the changes myself so that's what I done.i took up volunteering again and that really did change a lot of my views.

[nsuth44 in reply to kenster1]

Thank you for your reply. I do wonder all the time if the meds are making me emotionally numb. I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my mother a little over 2 years ago. Have definitely had some heavy cries over her.

[kenster1 in reply to nsuth44]

its ok to cry my mum died ten years ago and time to time I will always at Christmas and new year.yeah meds play tricks with our emotions as well they do with me anyway.

[Chanshan]

You are not alone. I get these episodes often and struggling with it for last 10 weeks and no medicine helping. Same thing eat sleep ... without any pleasure in any of those activities. It is very scary but we have to be strong and hope we can come out of it soon. I am just hoping and crying for help. Don't know from where I can get help.

[NWGal]

Like others have said, you're not alone. I agree that perhaps you should get a med check. I find trying to help others on the forum has a way of helping me! Thinking about you friend!

[HP123hi]

dying is always on my mind it’s scary but you just need enjoy the little stuff that keeps you going.try joining something at a local ymca might help you get distracted

[stbernard1]

I am sorry you are dealing with this. How frustrating. I agree with what others have said... schedule an appointment with your healthcare provider to talk about your feelings and an adjustment of your medications. I would also suggest looking for a new therapist. I will be praying you find the resources and people you need. Hugs!

[nsuth44]

Thank you everyone for the kind words and suggestions. I have an appointment this Friday with my psychiatrist but it's a group session so it's hard/awkward discussing my meds. I'm hoping we can figure something out. I have moments of clarity every now and then but almost always go back to feeling confused and scared. I can update everyone after my appointment Friday if I remember.