Feeling stuck and hopeless

[mentalhealthandme]

Sorry I need to vent again. I feel like I cannot advocate for myself. I can't get help for my anxiety. I can't be an adult and make phone calls or have a job. I feel so incompetent and depressed. My memory is getting bad lately. I feel left behind and like I don't matter to anyone. My family is sick of me and they look down on me or talk bad of me. In their eyes I'm just lazy. So badly I just want to change. I don't know how to get help. I have no friends. I'm so depressed all of the time. I try to be okay but I'm not. I rot away inside of the cold house. I have no future at all. I feel empty. Sometimes I go for walks but I end up feeling more empty, alone and scared.

[gajh]

I am glad you are here posting because you definitely are not alone. I am sorry you are suffering.

[LadyZen]

Have you considered therapy?

[mentalhealthandme in reply to LadyZen]

Can't afford it. And I did try a free therapy service through my mom's work in secret, but the therapist said she couldn't really help me , that my anxiety is too severe

[LadyZen in reply to mentalhealthandme]

If it's what I'm thinking of, the free therapists they usually provide through work aren't really meant for long-term treatment. They're usually just for one-time visits to help with minor work-related stressors. You may want to check with your county or state mental health agencies and programs.

[mentalhealthandme in reply to LadyZen]

I don't know how to. I have no way to pay for them

[LadyZen in reply to mentalhealthandme]

The county and state agencies might have free or low-cost resources for you. They could also put you on state coverage if you qualify. See if googling your county pulls up anything. Try different search terms for your county.

[davidthecoder]

Hi!

Just wanted to say that I can relate. Anxiety is difficult because it is hard for others to understand how it feels. As you know it involves excessive worrying about the future.

Something that has helped me is that when my mind wanders towards doing that, then I gently guide my focus to my breathing, to the present moment, the here and the now.

This has really helped me quite a bit. I still have more practice to have it mastered, but it has helped me with my anxiety.

Also just talking to a professional, they can give some guidance that is specific to you. But as someone going through a similar situation, I understand that it is difficult to manage this anxiety. But to give hope, there are people that were able to overcome it, and I hope that you will be one of them! There are multiple approaches to managing anxiety and I am sure that one of them will work for you.

Also these anxiety disorders, they are very common. I have seen that statistically, it is around 30% of US adults that will have this problem to face. So right around 1 in 3, you are definitely not alone and there are many others that also know the feeling you have expressed in your post.

[Overxomer]

Hey mental health and me ! You aren’t alone . I feel the same way ! I’m having a break down too and tbh it’s comforts me knowing I’m not the only one suffering from severe anxiety . It’s hard … really hard but we are in this together and one day at a time. I refuse to let my anxiety win… Let’s focus on how we feel and what can get us to a better state of mind. I think us worrying about what others thinks fuels our anxiety and makes it worse .

[Shield_Of_Faith]

Yeah I can't make phone calls either without help and I have no job, I never did. Because my social anxiety is so extreme. I'm always home. I'm not sure how my future will turn out. I'm scared everyday wondering how things will turn out. I've made it this far because of my Faith in God. I still have a lot of "what ifs" that consume me. I've tried many different therapists over the years. Some helped but not for long. I'll try again at some point. I'm just emotional tired everyday. But anyway I hope things improve in your life soon.

[Agora1]

Dearest mentalhealthandme x

Come here as often as you need to as your start on a better path.

I looked at the picture you posted and it stated a 1000 words. The

path starts out beautiful but goes nowhere but into oblivion. Cloudy,

murky, not being able to see the way. This is how your mind interprets

life each day. You are lost and can't find your way home (mentally).

Having family around you that continually puts you down and belittles you

doesn't help the situation. They don't understand as we do. This isn't

laziness, this is ANXIETY with a capital A.

Even if you had friends or money for a therapist, it's not going to happen

until you make changes within yourself.

I was alone too, after years of not having family support or friends. Missing

special occasions was not accepted and so people around me left one by one

until I was standing all alone with my fears.

That was the turning point for me. Not because I needed these people but I

needed to find myself once again.

And so, I made a promise to myself that I Would and I Could get well again on

my own. (Actually it was better) No put downs, no negativity, I was free to find

my way home by myself and I did.

YouTube was my therapist, my guidance, my salvation in finding ME. Don't

give up my friend. There's always a Plan B if you want it bad enough. xx

[Hidden]

Dear mentalhealthandme, I have experienced the feeling of wanting to change and feeling hopeless. I am still searching for answers and also struggle with a failing memory, but I think the key is that you want to change and you haven't given up. This website has a number of helpful resources on how to get help, and there are countless youtube videos, podcasts, articles, and books on related topics. But, only you know what you want and what works - or doesn't work for you. I confess that I have listened to Joe Rogan, and absolutely, a lot of what he says is problematic, but he also has managed to speak some words that have resonated with me, even as I've failed, and failed, and continue to fail, but still, keep trying to implement because I know they would help me. I don't like the crass profanity, but his short video about being the hero of your own movie, I think it may have something to it. "I think a lot of people say, Oh, I just want to sorta, they're kind of dabbling in the idea of improving themselves, and the real way to do it is you've got, gotta write down what * you want and then go after it. Cause otherwise, you live in a sort of a wishy-washy world. You know, if you decide I'm going to get down to bang, I'm going to do this. I'm going to run a marathon in less than five hours..." Find a message that resonates with you and don't hesitate to discard and avoid what doesn't work for you. But, especially with my memory struggles, writing things down and figuring out what I want is really important. To be fair, I don't really know what I want, but I think for me and perhaps some others, the key to starting to figure it out is to get a good night's sleep. I have been sleeping very poorly for years, now I need to write down why that is the case and what I can do to fix it.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Also (and my apologies, this is really advice to myself), if you don't know what you want, try to figure out and write down what you don't want. Instead of a to-do-list, figure out a not-to-do list. For me, I need to not waste my time reading depressing news and tweets and ruminating. For you, I don't know, but it sounds like you have had enough of being cold. Can you buy a space heater, or even just wear more clothes in your house so you aren't so cold? Tea and warm drinks I also find helpful when it is cold.

[RottieFlood37]

mentalhealthandme, I want to respond to your post specifically to you but I’m just not quite sure what to say. StillRunning made a suggestion that I’m going to try and implement- the Not-To-Do-List.

I’m 38 and feel like I have been “running” at full speed since I was 13 or 14. I’ve always been taking care of others and not myself. I’m struggling with a lot things and realizing that I can’t depend on others. I’ve never really been able to but when I needed them most, even my family wasn’t there for me when I asked for them. Now I don’t know really know who I am or what I want. I think the Not To Do List might help discover that in us!?!?

Another member also suggested an I Did list instead of a To Do list. You jot down each thing you do every day instead of the things that need done so you can see how much you actually accomplish daily. It feels good to “win.” 🤩

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.