Avoidance

[Italianmomma]

Do you avoid situations or activities that make you nervous or anxious?

I will avoid going to certain places if I know there's gonna be alot of people there. Don't do well with big crowds.

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

Yup. I'm trying to be better about it. But I do avoid the stores especially during a rainy afternoon because it seems like the grocery stores get an influx of people getting stuff because they are going to be stick inside so they go grocery shopping like its the apocalypse lolI miss 24hr Wal-Mart's because I liked going shopping at 1am or 3am and not having to deal with people and can look and shop at my leisure.

[Italianmomma in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

I go shopping either early in the morning or later at night when there's no one in there.And your right you can take your time and it's nice and quiet.

That would be nice if Walmart was 24 hours.

I would go. Lol

Thanks for your comment.

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to Italianmomma]

Yeah now I go at 7am. Some Wal-Marts practice a calm setting during the early morning hours if you have sensory issues. So no music playing over head and no tv displays are on.

Only issue I've encountered with shopping in the morning is that the store just got their shipment so the aisle is cluttered and store employees and restocking shelves.

Ooh back in 2019 was a magical time. We had 24hr Walker Marts. Miss those days *sighs in nostalgia* 😅

[Italianmomma in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

That's a good time to go!Yeah I noticed the aisles are cluttered. And they are restocking. One good thing about that is everything is fresh because it's just coming in.

2019. Those were the good old days.😂

[Lifesearching]

yes, sometimes it depends for me. I honestly try to avoid lunch groups at work who gossip! Or I avoid friends who gossip. Like the kind of talk where it’s about someone else’s whole marriage not venting gossip😵‍💫it makes me anxious being around that because if I tell them anything about my personal life they’re not going to keep my secret! I feel so bad for women at work who shared how their marriages fell a part and sometimes told me, I’m just like wow she trusted u!

[Italianmomma]

I think it's best to keep your personal life to yourself especially at work then everyone won't know your business.

It is sad. You tell people that you think you trust and they just go tell everyone else. 🥺

Thanks for your comment.

Always good to hear from you.🤗

[Chopper99]

I always found it difficult to embrace face your fears/exposure therapy. I avoid a lot of places when they're busy i.e. shops, buses etc. But that makes sense to me. Why would I shop when it's busy when I can go when it's quieter and not get stressed by hordes of people. Also I don't clean my windows or mow the lawn if they are people out in the street. I don't even like cars passing.

[Italianmomma in reply to Chopper99]

It definitely is a challenge to embrace your fears. I try to as much as I can. It's not easy because I start to get all these thoughts and feelings. And it's scary.

I to like to shop when it's not so busy. I don't like waiting in a long line. I start to get panicky.

Luckily we have a gardener to mow the lawn.

I don't clean the windows either. I will call someone to clean them. We live on a quiet street so I don't hear or see too many cars.

But I can see where that would be annoying.

Sounds like you like peace and quiet. Me too.

Thanks so much for your comment.

[fauxartist]

It's healthier to keep your boundaries and stay emotionally safe. Some social situations can be detrimental....being around judgmental, condescending, critical, or negative people isn't healthy. Other social situations can be nurturing and possitive.

[Italianmomma in reply to fauxartist]

I agree with you 💯 percent. I stay away from negative people. They bring me down and your right it's not healthy for your well being.

I like to be around positive people. I find them more enjoyable and good to have in my life.

Thanks for your comment.

Great comment!!!!

[fauxartist in reply to Italianmomma]

Yeah.... I am too old for anymore 'teenage drama' from anyone...including adults. I have to catch myself too, I've been groomed to be always looking for the other shoe to drop by my mother....but I refuse to live like that. I like not wearing any shoes most of the time.

[Italianmomma in reply to fauxartist]

I'm too old too.I like not wearing any shoes either.

It's more comfortable.

[fauxartist in reply to Italianmomma]

I'm an original old hippie....braid in the hair and all....

[Italianmomma in reply to fauxartist]

I meant to tell you I'm like your user name.Do you like to do art work?

[fauxartist in reply to Italianmomma]

Yes I do, I was an art major all through school. In college, I was a biological science's and ceramic art major, with a minor in psychology. But now with Long Covid, I'm back to painting only. It's my Zen place to be in my head when painting. I only do some original stuff, and I am trying to do my own thing with some multimedia paintings. I use Washi Kozo handmade paper, translucent photo transfers and high-end acrylics and mediums. I also like to paint works of other artists like Kandinsky, Max, Klimt, etc. I could never afford to buy one, so I do my own version of them. I also like to do a lot of Peruvian symbolism stuff, I'm doing some Greek Icons for friends. I just do what I like to do, which is lots of color. Here's one I did a few years ago.

Native American Tribal Chief

[Italianmomma in reply to fauxartist]

That's a great picture. You got some skills.

Did you like your psychology class?

I always thought about taking a class.

[fauxartist in reply to Italianmomma]

Thanks for the compliment, I'll post a different pic as well, shows my love of color.

I was on a waiting list in college for Medical school. But they cut the funding from 230 slots to 4.... so while waiting, I had to take a full semester load, and all my pre-med classes were done....so.... I took more art, and psychology....at the time it was still voodoo science to most.... barely out of the Freudian psychology era really. The only class I didn't take was experimental psychology, because I couldn't euthanize animals or submit them to cruelty in unnecessary experimentation. I also got down-graded for not euthanizing a frog in zoology....I didn't care...I wasn't going to do it.

I think psychology like anything else is subjective. I also studied philosophy, which in many ways was a precursor to psychology....I don't necessarily agree with labeling like a stamp on our forehead...but at the same time, knowing where your coming from can help with your treatment. I think personality has as much to do with your state of mind as does nature vs. nurture....we are a product of our environment as well as our genetic's. I don't let my labels define me...it's just a tool.

Peruvian symbolism....bird spirits

[Italianmomma in reply to fauxartist]

Wow!!! Beautiful. Love the colors. Your very creative.

Experimental psychology doesn't sound good for me. I love animals too much.

I agree with you personality can really make or break a person. I don't let labels define me either.

Thank you for so much for a great comment.

And your art work is awesome. Thanks for sharing it with me.

Big Hugs xoxo

[fauxartist in reply to Italianmomma]

Your very kind....thank you....

[Italianmomma in reply to fauxartist]

Your very welcome.You are very talented!!!!

Thanks again for sharing such beautiful art work.

Happy Hugs!!! xoxo

[fauxartist in reply to Italianmomma]

What kind of work do you do?.... what medium do you work in?.....there are a few of us here.... one good friend had moved on mostly, and has taken up writing again.....and sadly put her brushes down, as she was very talented and technically trained....her work in watercolors was awesome. There is another here who does pointillism a lot....and they seem very happy too doing their work.

[Italianmomma in reply to fauxartist]

I make candles and soaps.I'm thinking about doing diamond art painting.

I just need to find the time.

[Downandout123 in reply to Italianmomma]

Diamond art is fun. Don't ask me why but I bought a million of them to do bookmarks. I made a bunch of them but never finished the rest.

[Italianmomma in reply to Downandout123]

I'm gonna give it a try. Hopefully I'll be able to make at least one.🙏😀

[Agora1 in reply to Downandout123]

Downandout123 Diamond Art is very time consuming but the

out come is gorgeous. My daughter did the American Flag as a gift

for me. Framed it. It sparkles and means so much to me because

I know of the time involved in making something from the heart.

She tends to buy large artwork and now another one sits on her

dining room table. Maybe someday she'll attack it lol xx

[Italianmomma in reply to Agora1]

I hope I'm able to do one at least.I know it takes time.

But their so pretty when their finished.

[Downandout123 in reply to Italianmomma]

Just start small. They are kind of addicting!

[Italianmomma in reply to Downandout123]

Yeah. I will. I love the way they look when there done. So pretty.😍

[Downandout123 in reply to Agora1]

Oh that must be so pretty!

[Agora1 in reply to fauxartist]

faux, beautifully done. You certainly are a multi talented woman.

Medical school you say?? Psychology? Thanks for sharing xx

[Italianmomma in reply to Agora1]

I agree faux does some awesome work.I always thought about taking a psychology class. But it never happened.

[fauxartist in reply to Agora1]

Yeah.... for real.... but I did the separate major of medical only to appease my mother who said I could never make a living in art....even though I said I wanted to teach ceramic art, I'd already worked as a TA teaching beginning ceramics, and I loved it. And being on the waiting list at the university, you have to carry a full semester, I had all my courses from junior college mostly taken, so .... I thought there was very little given at that time in the 70's to the state of mind to the patient. So I filled up my last two semesters in waiting with more courses in psychology.

Last semester of my senior year, I got very sick....and had to leave school. I kept taking various courses years later, but never got to finish my degrees. I was tenacious though, and eventually did okay in life.

[Mormormor]

I don't leave my apartment for days at a time. I live in a senior building and it is gossip central. Gossip is not my thing and the questions are intrusive. Note: I take care of grandchildren for an hour and a half a day, so I am "checked on".

[Italianmomma in reply to Mormormor]

I don't blame you. I wouldn't want to leave either. You don't want to hear all that.

It's nice that you take care of your grandchildren. How old are they?

It's great to be checked on. So your not alone.

Sounds like you have some caring people that want to make sure your o.k.

Thank you for your comment.

Hugs!!!!

[Mormormor]

My grandchildren are 22, 20, 11, and 7. So I see my son in law 1 minute a day, and my daughter 5 minutes a day. In the summer and school breaks, the younger two come all day.

[Italianmomma]

I thinks that's awesome that your able to spend time with them. I'm sure they love it.

Pretty soon they will have Spring Break.

And then school will be out.

Then you will be able to see them alot.

Enjoy the time you spend together. They grow up so fast.

Big Happy and Loving hugs to you.xoxo

Thank you for replying back. I appreciate it.

[CalicoKi]

Some of the worst panic attacks I had in the past occurred in the grocery store. I don't even go there any more, my husband does the grocery shopping, due to my anxiety and foot and knee issues.I will go in a smaller store I can get in and out of quickly like CVS or Dollar General.

My worst place I really don't like to go to is any doctors office because of my health anxiety, I go when I have to but its very hard.

I have never liked big crowds, I had Agrophobia when I was younger and kind of partially have it now but I will go out sometimes. I didn't even like family reunions, large celebrations even when I was a child. I was painfully shy as a child and often worried about having conversations with others.

[Italianmomma]

I use to get like that in the grocery store too.The only time I really start to panic is if the line is long . I have waited before and I had to get out of line. I got to nervous. So I went and looked around somemore until the line died down. I think the walking around the store helped me calm down.

CVS doesn't bother me. If I have to pick up a prescription we have a drive thru so I don't have to go in. It's convenient.

Our Dollar General closed. I'm so bummed.

I go to Dollar Tree now.

I don't like going to the doctors either. I have white coat syndrome. And I get nervous. But I have no choice. I gotta go. And alot of times I have to do blood work. Don't like needles either!!!!

Big crowds I don't like being around either.

Like football games or basketball games or anywhere there's alot of people.

Sounds like me and you have alot in common.

Thank you for your comment.

Much appreciated.

Hugs xo

[Downandout123]

Yes- I TRY to avoid them . I am ok with grocery stores or any stores in general, but not ok on get-togethers where I don't really care about the people. It makes me very anxious and I don't feel comfortable. These dreaded events are always with my son-in-laws.family. I should be enjoying holidays with my daughter and grandson, but whenever they are there( like-always), I dread going. Now Easter is coming up and I'm invited to his mom's house,, but debating on whether or not I should go. But that means not seeing my grandson on his first Easter if I don't go. I don't know what to do. 😣

[Italianmomma]

I can understand not wanting to go to get togethers if you don't like the people. That would be hard to be around them.

I have family members also that I dread being around. But unfortunately I still go. I try not to interact to much with them. I hang out more with my mom or brother. My sister and other brother get on my nerves so I don't say to much to them. I keep it quick if I do talk to them. My sister's husband I don't care for at all. My whole family doesn't really like him.

You should go for Easter. I would want to be there for my grandsons first Easter. Don't let these people stop you from going. Just concentrate on having a good time and fun with your grandson. And keep your conversations short with the people you really don't want to talk to.

Thanks for your comment.

I can totally relate to you.

Hugs to you and your grandson. xoxo

[Downandout123 in reply to Italianmomma]

Thank you so much! That's very sweet of you! I had told my cousin about these family situations, and she said something very simple but insightful. She said-" I wouldn't let ANYONE ruin my holidays". She's the type that can talk to anyone and not feel the least bit uncomfortable.

[Italianmomma]

Your very welcome! Your cousin is right.I totally agree with her.

Go enjoy seeing your grandson.

And Happy First Easter to him.

[Downandout123 in reply to Italianmomma]

Thank you!

[Italianmomma in reply to Downandout123]

I remember my mom taking me to see the Easter Bunny in the mall and taking a picture with him. Do they still do that?

That would be a picture to have and cherish.

[Downandout123 in reply to Italianmomma]

They probably do. I have to ask my daughter. I love your username by the way!

[Italianmomma in reply to Downandout123]

Lol. Thanks!!! I'm a full blooded Italianmomma.I have one son and one grandson.

I'm a Nonni. That means a grandma in Italian.

[Downandout123 in reply to Italianmomma]

Haha I know. Full Italian here too! One daughter and one grandson.

[Italianmomma in reply to Downandout123]

That's too funny. We're both full Italian. My grandparents

[Downandout123 in reply to Italianmomma]

Yes-mine too.

[Italianmomma in reply to Downandout123]

Really? We have alot in common.Do you speak the language too?

I know a few words. My mom and dad do.

[Italianmomma in reply to Italianmomma]

I pushed the reply button to soon. Ugh.My grandparents are from Italy. Tuscany.

Love Italian food!!! It's one of my favorites. I love to cook and eat too. 😂

[Downandout123 in reply to Italianmomma]

Mine ( both sides) were from Naples. I don't speak it but studied it for 7 years in school. My father spoke it, not my mom. Oh I love to eat, but really dislike cooking! Lol

[Italianmomma in reply to Downandout123]

Mine too on both sides. I love to eat too.I like to cook. But I prefer my mom's cooking. She is such a good cook. I wish I could cook like her. She gives me recipes and I make them but they just don't taste like hers.lol

[Downandout123 in reply to Italianmomma]

Haha-no one can beat mom's meatballs! And you're right-same recipe but they just don't taste the same!

[Italianmomma in reply to Downandout123]

I know. They don't taste the same.

Noone can beats mom's cooking that's for sure.

[Downandout123 in reply to Italianmomma]

👍

[Italianmomma in reply to Downandout123]

Tonight we're going out for pizza and vino of course. Gotta have that with every meal.lol

[Downandout123 in reply to Italianmomma]

Haha-good for you! Pinot Grigio for me!

[Italianmomma in reply to Downandout123]

Absolutely!!!!

[Downandout123 in reply to Italianmomma]

Have a great time with your family!

[Italianmomma in reply to Downandout123]

Gracie.Ciao.

🍕

[Italianmomma in reply to Downandout123]

I meant Grazie.And Ciao.🍕

[Downandout123 in reply to Italianmomma]

You're welcome 😊

[Italianmomma in reply to Downandout123]

🤗

[Italianmomma]

Your welcome❣️👼🐰