Trying to get back to me...

[Daniellejodi]

My name is Danielle and I am a brain tumor survivor of 13 years. I have a small walking deficit, but walk well without any aid or devices. I worked very hard at my PT and had been fine for years. My anxiety disorder is always an issue though and few years ago I tripped on a dog toy and fractured my shoulder. Since then my fears have built and walking outside my home and in strange places has become an issue. I walk just fine in my home and where I feel confident. I know where my fears stem from but not so much how to fix the walking issue. I am not an agoraphobic by any means though this situation has shaken my confidence and left me feeling sad and disappointed in myself. I live with my Mom and I know she wants me to get back to myself so she won't feel so anxious herself. She also worries how I will live if anything happens to her...She is always encouraging, but she does get angry at times and I want to stop disappointing her. I also have some pain in my leg from complications from my surgery and sometimes I know this stops me from coping and makes me sad. I just want to be me again! I have had so much talk therapy over the years that it has become a been there done that thing. I know how to survive...I just need to get back into that mode. I admit I am also suffering with the political climate in this country and it contributes to my sadness. I guess you could say I am at the point where I need to fix my issues...I am curious how others cope...what they do to build confidence and happiness....and most of all how they beat the fears. I use Buspar and Klonopin and that is more then enough. Antidepressants are not good for me so that route is out. Does anyone find yoga, stretching and exercise helpful? I am starting back on my routines and that seems to help. I am sorry if this is a bit scattered but it feels great to let it go and get it out! Thanks for listening...I would love to hear your stories...especially your successes!...especially if sometimes you stiffen up outside and get so anxious you can not walk. Tips and suggestions are welcome!

[fauxartist]

Hi Danielle....and welcome...glad your sharing your story....you've had a rough journey and still fighting the good fight...I have had one friend recover from a brain injury, and learn to live her life differently. She was the plant lady for a very well off client base...her father owned a nursery and she had been involved with plants her whole life. She had been crossing the street at night and was hit by a car. Her injuries left her in a coma for a few months....and motor skills had to be re-learned, talking...pretty much everything. I was glad to see her again after her return...and knew her life was different now. She said the one thing that bothered her the most was now was that she didn't know when someone was making fun of her or just joking around...because she couldn't tell anymore...her brain wouldn't process the same way anymore. I honestly didn't know what to say to that. It made me sad to think that anyone would be cruel to her...

[Daniellejodi in reply to fauxartist]

Hi fauxartist...Thank you for answering. Brain injuries are a tough road to hoe. The brain does not understand if it has been operated on, been in an accident or shot with a gun. It is a blessing that through neuroplasticity we can recover. My damage is more motor then your friend, but regardless there are so many things to relearn. She should be proud and ignore any cruelty. I have had to learn that lesson and continue to grow back into my own person...That is why this set back is so daunting for me. Thank you for your kindness...I truly needed it today...Danielle

[Concernedparent23]

Yoga and meditation can help with so many things - emotionally and physically. I personally know people who've overcome very difficult situations including spinal injuries.

But it's not a quick fix - it will take time and regular practice.

Finding the right teacher and practice will be the key thing.

I hope you're able to find confidence in your body again x

[Daniellejodi in reply to Concernedparent23]

Thank you...I also have a Pilates machine and need to get back to that. What do you think of deep breathing exercises?

[Daniellejodi]

It is really a fear of falling I think that started when I broke my shoulder and has just grown worse. I was very cavalier until this happened. I have to look up Situational Anxiety. Thank you for the concept.

[Concernedparent23]

I guess it depends on the deep breathing exercises.

There are many yoga breathing exercises - I find several of them very helpful

They tend to be accompanied by a visualisation or meditation.

I think it's the combination of mindfulness and control I find helpful.

Keep trying the breathing exercises until you find some that work for you

In the meantime sing.

Sing as loudly as you can, happy songs, sad songs (Don't sing the sad ones while you're driving though).

It's like deep breathing but you don't know you're doing it

[Daniellejodi]

I had started the visualization because my Physical Therapist recommended it and stopped. I think I will take it up again. When I was little my Mom always said to sing. We used to go for walks and sing. It always made us happy! Definitely something to think about! Thanks for all your help!