Starting to Get It

[Anxiousdude]

For the past 2 years this battle with anxiety and depression has seriously messed me up. All the physical symptoms and relationship issues it causes really suck. I’m starting to see that a lot of what I am going through stems from the state of my marriage. I never thought that this could be possible but it definitely is. We own businesses so she is always stressed out and there is a lot of anger when she gets home. I am seriously struggling. I love her, but I’m also want to be mentally healthy. I wish I knew how to fix my marriage. It makes me so sad to think about it. I want to be there for my son so I want it to work out. I’m starting to really get a picture of what is going on with me which is good. I wish she would just love me. I have messed up at times in our marriage and I feel like I can never make it up to her. It’s really hard right now and I’m struggling. I just want to be happy. I want my family to be happy.

[Daisycup]

Does you're wife understand what you are going threw if people haven't been threw it they find it hard to understand they don't realise it is a hidden illness ihave been threw something similar

[Anxiousdude in reply to Daisycup]

No she doesn’t. She gets super upset like I’m trying to do it or something. I wish she could feel the way I do for just one day. It’s hard though. I feel like I did something wrong and this is my punishment.

[Daisycup in reply to Anxiousdude]

You have done nothing wrong so please don't think that and put ourself down anxiety is a hard thing to cope with but there will always be a silver lining

[Anxiousdude in reply to Daisycup]

Thank you. I need to figure this out

[Daisycup in reply to Anxiousdude]

I'm here if you need to talk

[Hidden]

I feel like I’m in a similar place with my husband. I’m the one who doesn’t understand, I’m trying my damndest to be what he needs and he tells me and I feel I do but it’s hard to be. What do you want from your spouse in regards to your anxiety?

[Anxiousdude in reply to Hidden]

It’s a long story. It obviously goes both ways. I just wish she would love me is all.

[Hidden in reply to Anxiousdude]

Totally get it. I hope you get that love

[MarjorieJL]

Please know that you can only change yourself, work on that first

[Anp68]

So recently my husband told me he can no longer take being my emotional crutch. He wanted us to go to therapy because he was not happy with the state of our marriage. I was devastated. BUT as a result, we sot therapy together and individually. I did a lot of reading and work on my own(because it takes so long to get in to see anyone). Now we are in the midst of working on it. What I realized is that I was contributing to making it hard for my partner to love me... He described it as feeling dragged down to my level of unhappiness(ugh what a punch in the gut) I was depressed and anxious about everything and he was my only support. It can be very wearing on a spouse no matter how much they love you. I took responsibility for that and am trying different ways to deal differently with my feelings... Through CBT and therapy and reaching out to others on here. I've found by acknowledging, working and being there for him instead of being selfish in my depression.....Just that, was enough to spur my husband to see that I was valuing him and his feelings. We are better... Not perfect but we feel better being honest and open. Maybe some of this applies to you maybe not... Just thought I'd share and offer you someone to talk to who is navigating asimilar situation. Good luck.