Struggling at the moment as had some bad news in the week. My sister has been told she has Cancer we have no idea where it is at the moment but the consultant didn't seem very hopeful that there is any treatment that can be given. She is having a colonoscopy on Monday and a Lung and liver CT scan in the week. She has had done tests no biopsy so my only conclusion is that there is a large mass showing somewhere we think it's possible the colon but she has had non of normal symptoms of this type of cancer and having lived with a husband who had very bad Crohn's disease resulting in all his large bowel and rectum removed. I can't understand when they say there is nothing they can do. She has been given her own nurse which is a good thing but then wonder if it is or not. Having nursed people with Cancer when I was doing my nurse training it's hard to know that your sister is going to go through this. We aren't close and haven't been for many many years but it still hits hard and I have had several sleepless nights trying to work it all out as has my mum obviously. My sister doesn't live locally either and as I can't drive right now after my hand surgery you feel even more unhelpful which is probably the wrong word. But it's very distressing all I am hoping and praying is that after this weeks tests they will say there is something they can do if it's the bowel I don't understand why they can't just remove it as I say I know my ex has had this done. My only concern is that it has spread somewhere else which is why they say they can't do anything. She is in a lot of pain but has finally been given some oromorph so if everyone could think positive thoughts and prayers that we get some good news this week that there is something that can be done to remove the cancer. I am finding it tough to deal with donor dure how my sister is coping she has never been good at dealing with anything so this is a tough time for all of us.
Thank you I know it's not fibro related but I have a feeling it will impact on mine with the stress and worry of trying to support my sister and my parents.
Jackie x
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jackie4ball
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Don't worry if isn't Fibro related but I know that stress can flare up your Fibro. So try to stay calm and strong for your sister and parents even if it's hurt you. But at the moment your sister and parent are the priority especially with those bad news. They now need your support more than ever. Just try to be there as much as you can. I know you can't drive but you can call them up and lend them an ear. Be positive all the time.
And if you need to vent out of something do it here and not with your parent or sister. Ok?
Hope you understand what I mean? We are here to support each other and also to help each other. You aren't alone. Remember that!!!
So sorry to read your news. The not knowing where it is and if it can be treated or not must be agonising. Hopefully they will find it in an area they can treat.
I am so sorry to hear of your sisters diagnosis,that must have come as a bolt out of the blue for you.
Easy for me to say right now,but wait until you have the results so you know what you are facing. Hopefully,there will be something that can be done, but dont waste your energy worrying about something that you dont know for sure yet.You are going to need every scrap of that energy to help you and her through her battle ,and in the meantime you could upset your fibro even more.
Until you know whats happening, and how to take this forward,concentrate your energies on giving her love and attention,and all the support she needs right now. Your parents also need you too.
Thank you all the problem was the consultant told her she has cancer and when she asked what treatment she could have he did a sort of shrug of his shoulders as if there was not a lot of hope. I felt that was bad until all tests are back but not knowing what he has seen on a scan is pretty scary as he knows it is cancer but no biopsy or anything taken and with there being a large bowel which can be removed it worries me it is more than that. The fact she was then assigned a nurse the following day was in a way reassuring knowing she will have someone with her when she has the test on Monday and in the week. But the fact she is already in a lot of pain and consultant gave her nothing. She saw her GP next day who has given her some oromorph which I think has helped a little. She had previously been back and forth to A&E with the pain and nothing had been done. I know this was her fear before she was told in the week for definite I had told my mum I didn't think it was as she had had no signs that you are supposed to watch for. Pain is normally one of the last things you feel I just hope and pray it hasn't spread to the liver or lungs etc. It's a waiting game right now and I am having to try and keep my mum calm who I know is worrying dreadfully understandably.
I will post on here when I know more of what's ahead. I haven't slrpy since finding out through worrying.
jackie4ball, I can only echo all the comments already made.
You will have our thoughts and prayers in the coming weeks, and we are here when you need to express the things you can't say out loud to anyone in person.
So very sorry to hear your devastating news about your sister. I can only offer my prayers and good wishes to all of you, and the hope that it won't be as bad as you fear. They are making advances in treating cancer all the time. My hope for your sister is that it will be treatable and she will be well again.
So sorry to hear your news. Sending positive thoughts and offer prayers for you and your family. Do take time for yourself too. When my father was diagnosed the MacMillan nurses were amazing and took all the day to day problems from us. They sorted benefits, treatments and spent many hours just talking and listening. They are amazing people and please make sure you take all the help offered and if it isn't offered one phone call is all it takes to the Macmillan team. They made our lives so much easier and took away lots of the day to day stress and worry.
Thanks Dinky can I ask were you given the Macmillan nurse straight away as soon as your father was diagnosed as my sister has been given a nurse and was only diagnosed last week. I am glad she has someone to help her but I don't know whether you get a nurse when immediately diagnosed with cancer or because this is a bad sign if you understand what I mean. If it's standard procedure then I won't worry quite so much. When j was nursing my first ward was with cancer patients but it was so long ago now and I can only remember patients being given Macmillan nurses when there was nothing they could do except for keep you comfortable. From what my sister has said about the consultant I think it may be too late for any treatment but won't know until the other tests are done this week. She is in so much pain which again when nursing people they never had the pain until the end of when going through chemo they would be ill.
Thank you for everyone's support just can't switch my brain off of it at the moment.
He had a Mcmillan nurse for 2 years. The nurse helped us as much as him. She would sometimes come round and just play a board game with him and chat just as if she were a family friend popping in for a cup of tea and a biscuit. I will be forever grateful to her for taking much of the burden of the financial and other day to day things that need attention from us. They certainly are angels. She kept in touch with Mum for a long time after Dad died just to make sure she was coping. Maybe she was one in a million but somehow I doubt it - whenever I have spoken of Mcmillan nurses everyone seems to think the same.
Thank you as I have mentioned my first ever ward I worked on when I was only 18 was the cancer ward and I was terrified but the patients were the best and I still remember many of them. Sometimes it was hard but I loved it so long ago now would still be nursing if it wasn't for my health putting a stop to it. Things were a lot different then I went into nursing as I wanted to help the sick and to actually nurse it was all I had ever wanted to do. Now it's all different not all for the better. But I do hope my sister has a good nurse (I am sure she does) Macmillan nurses are normally excellent and caring. Thank you for replying. X
Sorry to hear your news. Cancer can be a very emotive topic but things are definitely improving year by year.
People with dire prognosis can carry on for years so we never really know what the future holds. All we can do is take it day by day and hope for the best.
Don't forget to look after yourself in amongst all this as when you are so distracted by things like this it's easy to forget about yourself. Not a single member of mine and other half's family that is my age and older is currently healthy. And some of the younger members too. Many have chronic illnesses that are taking a huge toll and some have advanced cancer, including my husbands brother and his wife and my mother in law. And like you we live so far away from them all that it all adds to the stress. So difficult to deal with.
Take care honey, sending love and hugs, Margaret. xxx
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