Struggling over this way haven’t posted in a while as things have been all over the place. On the 11th December my sister passed away after battling with cancer. My parents and I had plannned on going up to see her on the 16th as she didn’t live local we had booked a hotel for the night we knew she was declining and wanted to be there for her unfortunately it wasn’t meant to be as she died st 10 am in the 11th my dad called me sobbing down the phone and distraught because they had been out for a meal with age uk who he helps out with arranging walks so they had there Christmas meal when they got home there was a message on the answerphone to call my sisters pastor. He told them she had passed her husband wasn’t at her side in time and it haunts me that we don’t know if anyone was sitting holding her hand or that she was in that room totally alone when she passed. When I was nursing we always had someone sitting with a person that was close to death until relatives arrived. She had been moved the week before to this new place and I am sure if she had still been in the old place they would have phoned us to say to get there. The funeral isn’t until 11th January I can’t bring myself to put decorations or a tree or anything up this year my parents have so much support it’s great to see. We will be spending Christmas Day with my daughter and her husband and my 9 month old grandson that will help I think. I hope everyone else has a lovely Christmas.