Those bad days pull me back.

[Richy626]

Hey all,

In my journey with anxiety that has certainly come back to mind and been at the forefront for me to deal with alot recently, acceptance and mindfulness is certainly the way forward for me and at times has almost got me out of it.

BUT! There is always one thing that pulls me back, like almost every time, the thoughts of when I've been bad like REALLY bad like all the bad phases I've been in, it pulls me back because I start to try and figure out why I got so bad, this makes me focus on anxiety again, like when I'm half decent I feel like I need to figure out why I got so bad all those times cause when I am okish I feel so stupid for the times I got bad.

Doing this always brings me back to being bad again eventually and then that further concretes to me like I haven't figured out something I need to or something, which can't be true cause I've analysed this thing to absolute death!!

Anybody on here got any ideas how to help me out with this one? So I can stop this from bringing me back to it scaring myself and making myself bad again whenever I'm not bad?

It would be nice not to constantly feel like I have a ticking time bomb inside me that if I'm not careful about what I think I'll end up bad again!

Thanks.

[Cwoods]

wow i sometimes i do go down memory lane but u knw what it was just a memory u have overcome that phase and u should try not to let it get to u i dnt know maybe write it down when it comes to mind.

[sunandbutterfly]

So sorry for the way that you are feeling. Talking to a licensed counselor is a great way to help sort through the bad times and how you can better handle the situation in the future. Something that was incredibly helpful for me( Maybe this would be helpful for you?) confess the areas where I felt that I did wrong and to realize that quite often it was in an attempt to do what was right. Hope that is helpful for you. If you would like a free consultation to help you get connected with a counselor in your area, please let me know. Would be glad to provide you with some additional resources.

[Hidden]

Your story is very similar to mine...I am seeing a therapist and she has made such a big difference in my life. However, I agree with you...when you start focusing on acceptance and all other tools which are meant to help with anxieties...it makes you feel as if you start focusing on it again and BAM...you are anxious again. She told me the only way here is to be kind to yourself and understand that it is a long journey and you will end up having bad days. She is teaching me to be kind and not to get angry/upset/frustrated at myself as these emotions are only there to make your anxiety worse. I think it works but it doesn’t at the same time...so...my advice to you just be kind to yourself and love yourself even when you feel the shittiest about yourself. I think what she means is when you’re anxious all negative emotions kick in. But if you are kind to yourself then it will automatically trigger nice/loving and, more importantly, CARING emotions which are needed to calm down anxiety. Once we learn how to trigger these soothing emotions automatically, it will become a habit...I am still working on it and I am not sure if it works. But this is the best I have right now...so good luck to us, I guess