Anxiety beyond what I know how to cope with

[Caseopia]

I'm sorry if this isn't the right group to post but I feel comfortable here. My ptsd is very evident right now and I keep thinking I see someone that hurt me in the past every day now.... in a car on the road, a seat next to me at a dinner, etc. And I go into a silent rage. I was working on my ptsd in therapy but the therapist ended up not being able to stomach my situation and kept ending our 45 minute sessions to 20 our 15 minutes while I was in mid sentence. She had me open up this bag of issues and finally talk about these secrets but gave me no coping skills. I'm on my own now without a doctor until my new therapist in about 2 weeks. However, I'm battling a decision. The person that severely hurt me left me emotionally, mentally and physically scarred for life. I may even need surgery. I just found out this person is now a licensed therapist with his own practice! He should not be counseling anyone. I am being told to write to the Board to report him but I'm terrified. But his images are haunting me daily, I've woken up with injuries from dangerous night terrors.....I can't keep living like this . I don't know how to deal with the anxiety. It's beyond what I know how to cope with. I'm usually afraid to close my eyes at night because of the night terrors. Now I'm afraid of what/who ill see with my eyes open. It's like flashbacks or something. Sorry for rambling....

[Opportunity]

Hey! I’m so sorry that happened to you! That was wrong of someone to get into your trauma unsafely. When a therapist does that, it is actually called secondary or tertiary trauma. Just as bad as the first trauma.

Do you know how to cope with flashbacks now? I only know of CPTSD flashbacks and how to cope with those, but I can send you the link if it would be helpful.

[Caseopia in reply to Opportunity]

I have no idea how to deal with flashbacks. I would appreciate the link. Thank you. The therapist got me to talk so deep about things I've buried for years then just abandoned it because she said it was nauseating. I don't know what to do with the flashbacks. There's times I'm ready to attack the person but step back realizing it's not "him". It's affecting my everyday life, relationships, etc. And my anxiety and panic attacks are getting worse.

[Opportunity in reply to Caseopia]

pete-walker.com/13StepsMana...

Here’s the link. This guy changed my life. These steps are also outlined in his book. However, the trauma he talks about would probably be lesser severity than what you may have gone through. You technically might have both CPTSD and PTSD. But the gist is the same: getting back to “now” by doing certain things to get back in the here-and-now.

Here’s another link: mind.org.uk/information-sup...

There are also YouTube channels about managing flashbacks that may help you in the moment when you have one. You may want to queue one up now... for later.

Fun right?! 😄. I know it isn’t. I’m so glad you reached out. Know that we are all rooting for you. 🦋🌈🌳

[Caseopia in reply to Opportunity]

Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. I'm used to my night terrors. But not what I'm experiencing now in the day. I'll check out your suggestions. Thanks again!!! I love this group

[Caseopia in reply to Opportunity]

I've never heard of CPTSD. I'm not a doctor but I looked it up and that sounds more like my situation than the PTSD if I found the right definition. Or both. I'm going to mention it to my new therapist. I have a lot to talk to him about

[DodgeDhanda]

If this is where you feel most comfortable then this is the right place as you feel safe & honestly we all search for safety & when we have dark clouds of depression or anxiety we need that safe place.

I don't really know much about PTSD or CPTSD to be of much help but with most things that affect ourselves they are things from within & our minds can be our worst enemy. I found that the journey for me personally was to understand why my brain was making me feel like I was less than human & I hated myself.

Now I don't know if it relates at all but I wish you the very best on your journey & say this .....

NO ONE CAN CHANGE US except US. We owe it to ourselves to try understand why we are the way we are & I found that letting negative things that impacted on my life I had to let go & learned that once I let these things go I could fill my heart & thoughts with positive memories & moments .