Anxiety and depression while dealing with abuse

[Ashleybari]

Hi,

I'm new to this group but I have a lot of faith in this. I'm 25 and I just can't knock this depressed feeling and all of the anxiety. Everyone knows me as the happy, outgoing and caring person but deep down my thoughts are dark. I get a hundred messages a day of my friends asking for advice while I'm dying inside. I have anxiety from the moment I open my eyes each morning until I finally fall asleep at night. My relationship is far from perfect and I know I've got to get out but I'm convinced that no other man will want me. I need to get right. No one knows my true thoughts, no one but myself. Help? I know I need a psychiatrist but have such trouble finding one. Tia ❤

[kz1211]

Hey Tia. I'm 22 and I actually just decided to make an account on this. I am honestly in the exact same boat you are... on the outside, I am extremely confident and outgoing, but it's really easy for me to fake. It's hard to be so open and honest with my feelings that I often come off as not genuine or I just avoid the situation completely. I don't know who to talk to and I'm afraid to. I thought this website would put less pressure on myself because it is online as opposed to face-to-face. I'm constantly criticizing and comparing myself to my boyfriend.. anything from he's better looking, way smarter, funnier, has more opportunities, etc.. the list honestly goes on. I am worried that we will soon break up if I don't get better because it is truly effecting our relationship and I am to blame. He has such an amazing and positive outlook on life and meanwhile, I'm over here thinking that everyone is out to get me and that I'll never measure up to what I want to be. It's exhausting and I'm so sick of it.

When did all these emotions come up for you?

[Ashleybari in reply to kz1211]

Thank you so much.

We are absolutely in the same boat because I have all of those feelings too. It's hard to function sometimes and I even skip out on family functions and things as well as putting off school. I'm losing myself. It is so draining. Thank you for taking the time it means a lot.

They have been constant for about two months now. On the outside I put everyone first and I seem happy but when I'm alone I am not okay. I'm the same way with my boyfriend as well, Always feeling as if I'm a disappointment. Day by day girl and we will overcome this. ❤

[kz1211 in reply to Ashleybari]

I have been watching a lot of youtube videos on jealousy and depression and how to overcome it esp in relationships.. check out actualized.org on youtube. he has a couple great videos on meditation for depression, practice tips to overcome jealousy, how to build self esteem, and so many more. Although it won't be a quick fix, recognizing your negative/jealous thoughts is the first step.. his videos have allowed me to feel less shameful because I am often feeling extremely guilty for thinking the things I do. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. <3 Stay strong. I think also talking about these things with others helps the healing process. I am always here to talk.

[vishugurdasani in reply to kz1211]

I too have the same thing ,also the fear of breaking up of marriage.I feel it is a part of our destiny.but I feel that breakup wud really never come up in my life as that fear keeps us all the time alert.I am also new ,so any mistake Pl let me know.keep in touch

[CoachK]

I understand exactly how you feel. I am 29, I coach and teach, in very good shape at 6 foot 175. This past week I had my first anxiety attack. It made me go to the emergency room at a hospital. I felt like someone was sitting on my chest, my hands, face, and feet were tingling. This is an awful feeling that can last 15,30, or even 45 minutes but it usually passes. All of my tests came back great. The er doctor said all my tests came back great even my ekg and the normal physican doctor confirmed as well. Talking about it calms me down.

[CoachK]

I'm here if you need me.

[Marquis784]

Hello. I'm sorry to hear how difficult things are you. Talking about your concerns is one way to help not feel so alone. You mentioned seeing a psychiatrist. It can be difficult to find one with whom you have a good rapport but I highly suggest you keep trying. In the meantime, you should see a therapist or another professional who can help you to understand your anxiety and depression. It is difficult to maintain relationships with other people when you don't feel comfortable with yourself. Don't blame yourself if a relationship should fail or not work, it might just mean the time has come for you to devote time to yourself to feel whole again. Self care is so important to any relationship you may have with anyone else. There are many things you can do to help with your anxiety while you wait to see a psychiatrist for medication evaluation. Try yoga or meditation or exercise or inspirational readings. There are many great apps which can help guide you because it is challenging to meditate. You are the most important person in your life. You need to take care of you, do some self reflection regarding what will make you feel happy and at peace. Leave other people and things out of the equation because ultimately they don't matter. When you are at peace everything else will fall naturally into place. Positive energy attracts positive energy!

Best wishes!