How do I stop using alcohol to cope w... - Anxiety and Depre...

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How do I stop using alcohol to cope with anxiety?


I'm starting to become concerned with my drinking habits. When I get nervous in groups, or even with close friends, I end up drinking way more than I should. Recently this has led to a lot of black outs and embarrassing conversations in the mornings. NYE was absolutely terrible and I'm worried I might have ruined some friendships. Of course this just makes my depression worse. I'm too ashamed to discuss this with my therapist and wouldn't dream of admitting how much I'm struggling to my family. Is it even possible to have friends who will accept me for who I am and night hate me for my mistakes?

6 Replies

Hi soccergal.

I’m so sorry for your struggles..

You are most certainly not alone and your therapist will totally understand this. Please do try and reach out, as you have here. I know lots of people who have struggled with the exact same thing and now have come through. I too used to like a drink and at times felt so bad afterwards, it’s an awful awful feeling..but you truly are not alone in your struggles..

Your therapist could make suggestions I’m sure, to help you..

Therapy doesn’t work unless we are honest, especially about things affecting us so deeply..

You deserve a life..please reach out ...print off what you’ve said here and maybe give it to your therapist...

It’s a great start telling us here...keep talking


Black outs are a sign to be taken seriously. You need to get help for this. There's no reason to keep this from your therapist. Believe me I'm sure they've heard many many things in their careers.

They can guide you to the help you need.

Do this for you.

We cannot erase the manic dancing of of New Year’s Eve but that was last year - now is a great opportunity to start afresh. Alcohol is anxiety in disguise - yes, it stops you having to think and it’s an easy option but you’re better than that, you’re stronger than that.

A gradual change. Fitness is key be it walking, running, swimming. Feel good about yourself, respect yourself and gain the respect of your friends.

Carpe diem.

I agree with the other members that have written to you. I have abused alcohol in the past, my problem is I like it!!! Have you considered going to AA, it is a great place to just sit, or if you want to you can talk, they have 12 steps to help you and the Big Book. You would get a sponsor who would help you, it really does work, it did for my husband. Do not give up on yourself, the past is just that the past, forgive yourself, you are not a bad person. If You Want to Change, you can. We love you and will encourage you, sending strength, belief in self, love and hugs....Sprinkle 1....

I wanted to thank you for your responses. I was inspired by your words and decided to try to stop drinking. I haven't had any alcohol since 2/22/20! Being in isolation helps, but I'm hoping to continue this habit once the stay at home order is lifted. Though I'm terrified about how this will effect my friendships, I get strength from knowing there are others here who are/have been there.


Hi! I had the very same problem with anxiety, depression, and drinking! The drinking always just made everything worse and I would wake up the next morning with such guilt and self loathing. It caused problems that led to the lose of relationships with family members and it even got me baker acted!!! But I came through the other side and haven’t drank in years. It just isn’t worth the cost no matter how much it wants to convince you otherwise. You can be very proud of yourself for not having drank since 2/22/20! That shows strength and determination! Be honest with your therapist because you will need the support. And I promise it won’t make you look bad or less of a person. We are all imperfect and your therapist is not there to judge you but to help you. And if your friends don’t support you then they don’t have your best interest at heart and you need to do whatever it takes to be successful in your endeavors. Isolation is not a good way to cope with drinking, though. In most cases it makes the problem worse because of loneliness. And, yes, it is possible to have friends that will accept you for who you are and not hate you for your mistakes. If they don’t accept you they aren’t good friends to begin with anyway. If you have one great friend that supports you, that is better than five friends that don’t, and maybe one of your friends or family members will surprise you if you confide in them. But AA is also a good place to find support and new friends that can understand and relate to you and your efforts, without judgement! I wish you the very best!

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