Caregiving for depression/anxiety

[WilJan]

Care Giving of a depressed person! I live with my younger sister who suffers from anxiety and depression. She is in counseling and takes Prozac and Xanax but it doesn't seem to be helping. I need some tips on how to not only help her but help ME understand. I have been there, too. Seems it runs in the family. But, this is the first time I am responsible for care.....I am at my wits end on what to say to encourage.

[Hidden]

I used to take both of those medications. Xanax is some serious stuff. I was over medicated with it and it did a number on my mind. What is the care routine and how does she respond to treatment/care?

[WilJan in reply to Hidden]

Lulu; thanks for responding. She has been on Xanax for a long time. Also, she just got back on the Prozac as she just got her medical insurance back after being off of work for about 6 weeks. She started counseling about 4 weeks ago and has had 3 sessions with her counselor and seemed to be responding but today was just terrible with tears and not wanting to go to work (work is an issue for her). Counselor also said she sounds like she has PTSD from previous childhood goings on.

[Hidden in reply to WilJan]

Sounds to me that this will most likely be the case for her for the rest of her life. If she struggles with work. Is she aware of these “bad days”? If she is and won’t be offended when you address it then offer that on these days she get up, get dressed and go for an 8 minute walk. It can be around the block, around the house, anything to get some UV to hit her skin and fresh air in her lungs.

Also, another form of immediate relief are the powerful effects of essential oils. Read up on it. They helped me go from 3 different medications to med free. I still struggle every single day and if it weren’t for essential oils to reel me back in or even stop anxious feelings all together idk where I would be today.

Every person is different this may not help at all but it’s a good place to start.

Massage is also a great means to healing. She could book a massage right after therapy.

[WilJan in reply to Hidden]

She is very aware of these bad days! Lately has had trouble sleeping and will wake up at 4 a.m. and not able to go back to sleep...so tiredness is in there too. She works from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. and by the time she comes home she is almost too tired to eat dinner. We have been taking walks in the evening just around the complex we live in. That does seem to help, although, I have to "get her out" to do just that...I am just at my wits end not knowing what to say without sounding judgmental or like I don't care....she is my little sister and I love her to pieces.

[Hidden in reply to WilJan]

I totally sympathize and get both sides! It’s so tough. Would you consider trying essential oils? If you got a diffuser and diffused certain blends... from my experience with 1st timers... they sleep like a ROCK.

[WilJan in reply to WilJan]

I have mentioned the essential oils to her and also the massage therapy but don't think that will be an option. We have done the essential oils. Massages cost $$ and since we're on a limited budget, not an option.

[Hidden]

My own road to recovery led me to massage school and study of essential oils. I’m about 5 years in. I’ve helped many people w have expressed similar concerns and almost everyone I know still keep their oils as part of their daily routine.

It also gives her something to be excited about. Something to look forward to at the end of her day or at the beginning!! There are so many things she can do each morning and night to jump start her good vibes only mindset.

[Calm_mama]

Hi WilJan,

I'm so sorry that things are quite rough now for her (and you!) This is very hard stuff sometimes!

So glad that she is in therapy! If things are really rocky right now, sometimes more intensive therapy is better (like 2-3 times a week, or 2 times a week + a support group...) so that is something to consider.

You may want to check out Claire Weekes' work. I have resources of hers listed on my profile, as well as other resources that are in sync with her understanding/approach to anxiety (and depression) recovery.

I'd also keep talking to folks here, as there are amazing people on this site with extensive experience and true pearls of wisdom for you Keep us posted? Wishing u all the best!

[pianoplayer90]

I've taken Xanax. Flattens you and doesn't feel right, so I stopped. I have PTSD from childhood events. I've been able to identify with my therapist symptoms of avoidance due to trauma. I think emotional stability is key--feeling that someone is there for you good or bad, rain or shine. An emotionally stable environment where I feel I can rely on the person I'm with to be consistent in his/her compassionate attitude towards me has helped me.

[SA192461 in reply to pianoplayer90]

You’re so very lucky to have that support through rain or shine🙏🏻I wish I had that so badly!! pianoplayer90

[pianoplayer90 in reply to SA192461]

Oh, I don't have it. I've had it from time to time, but people who are emotionally stable enough to give it never stay.

[Hidden]

Wow, that is a very difficult situation especially adding and needing medication. My spouse is taking a generic Cymbalta, help but not a cure. I myself have anxiety and depression. I have been using the knock on wood approach, lol, that's what I call it. My mind wants answers for everything, I believe that makes sense and when I can't find a answer in my predicament. I freak out into high anxiety and then with no answer I am willing to accept, I fall into depression, deep depression, if I can't let it go. So, knock on wood, I try my best to figure out a solution to my questions, concerns and if I can't understand or find a solution I am truly pleased with because somethings are just out of our hands. I am just accepting the best answer solution and letting it go. No high anxiety, no depression, doesn't mean I won't revisit a mind thought, a brainstorming here and there for my hope for a better solution. And I will not fall back into high anxiety and ugh depression. Knock on wood, k with that said. I am working with my spouse who suffers from anxiety and depression too, PTSD. We are trying every weekend to deal, manage alcoholism, omg it is a huge struggle. The alcoholism is stemmed from decades of misdiagnosis, actually self medication. We have to unravel from the alcohol, anxiety and depression. You are not alone, we are doing trial and error and hoping for a better day, everyday. Hang in there and try everything, trial and error. Since we have begun this journey together, over 4 years ago, there has been positive progress. A slow progression however something is better than nothing. Keep reaching out for support and knowledge.

[snow_queen]

I just want to say you are an amazing person and the best sibling your sister could ever have!! And I mean it 💕 I can’t even begin to explain how important it is for anyone struggling with mental illness to have even just one person they can count on. I don’t know or want to think about where I would be without the person who’s not biologically related to me, but feels like the big sister I don’t have. I’m sorry as the situation sounds rough, but please know that your sister is lucky to have you. And I wish you both the best of luck!

[WilJan]

thank you snow queen. it definitely is so very hard dealing with this illness and I feel so sorry for my sister feeling this way. I try to stay positive but it's very hard and I can see this disease taking its toll on my sanity! I'm getting a lot of positive feed back from this site.