My mom is my favorite person in the entire world. In May this year, my mom suffered a heart attack was on life support for about four days in the ICU and stayed there for two weeks. She came home and had to rest up to have open heart surgery in July. During this time, I was stressed and made myself sick to my stomach and I had really bad stomach pains. And also body aches. My mom did great with the surgery. I have found it so hard to be around her and smile. I want to comfort her but it’s also hard to be there for her when she’s so sick and in pain and she’s frustrated with her new restrictions after heart surgery. It’s heartbreaking for me to see her this way. I stayed with her every night in the hospital after her surgery and it was great to be there for her even though I was anxiously watching her he whole time. Tonight I will go over to my parents house to stay the night with her tonight. It’s so very hard to watch a loved one deal with illness. Anybody else find it hard to be around when someone is really sick?
Sick family member : My mom is my... - Anxiety and Depre...
Sick family member
Great morning to you
I’m sorry you’re going through so much I haven’t dealt personally with a family member going through what you’re going through. No doubt in my mind for your mom to love and appreciate everything that you’re doing but you need to stay strong for her and for yourself and not run yourself ragged. Take time for yourself even if it’s going outside and take a short walk. Give yourself a breather and make sure to get proper sleep
God bless you
Thank you so much for the kind words. Taking a walk sounds like a good idea. I think I will after I get off work this morning.
With my anxiety and depression I have put my family through a lot and my wife has been by my side supporting me. We have 4 girls ages 5-14 and they are a handful. My wife carries the emotional weight of our home plus takes care of our home so she has been run ragged. So every Friday afternoon I get her out of the house to get a cup of coffee and get her nails done to have a hour or two for herself to breath and relax
Aww that’s so nice of you to recognize how much she deals with.
Sadly when my mom got sick she hid how bad it was from me as I was pregnant with my 3rd child. I'm glad though I was there for her every day. She was my bestie also! It's really difficult to watch a loved one being sick. Hang in there & try to focus on being happy to be able to be there for her. I'm sure she loves having you there. Love & Hugs!!!
Yeah it definitely hurts watching someone you love so much go through illness and there’s nothing really you can do to help them except be there for them. I was talking to her the other day and I told her do you want me to come stay the night Thursday . My dad and sister were like she gets up at night on her own now so you don’t need to stay and I asked my mom if she wanted me to. She said “yeah, I hope you don’t mind I just want to hang out with you.” She made me tear up I just love her to pieces.
Sounds like my mom & me. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. However you are doing the right thing being there for her. Mother's & daughters have such a precious relationship. I have the same relationship with my one daughter, she's such a sweetheart just like you!! Love & Hugs!!!
Aww yay!!!! Mother and daughter relationships are the best. I can’t wait to be a mom someday too.
My goal since I can remember was to get married & be a mom! I was fortunate to be a stay at home mom to our 4, we did sacrifice but it sure was worth it & I wouldn't change a thing. Enjoy your mom today, you never know she is still in recovery & may make a huge comeback. Keep being you for her!!! Love & Hugs!!!!
I felt the same way about my Mother and also my daughter who is also a ray of sunshine. I wouldn’t take anything for my relationship with my sweet Michelle! She knows she can come to me and I will help and not judge. We have something else in common anxiety!! Have a great day! ❤️🙂❤️
My mom also has anxiety like me. Her and I talk all the Time and I visit her at least three days a week. We have breakfast together and just chit chat.
It is a wonderful relationship isn't it though? Sure worth pushing the almost 9lb. sunny side up baby!!! I'm the same way with all of my kids, haha i call them kids, 38-27, but they will always be my kids. Some of the things they tell me though I'm like TMI, hahaha!!! Love & Hugs!!!
Me too! But TMI is an indication to me that they know they can trust you with almost anything and that the lines of communication are most definitely open! When we’re all together, my 3 will start telling us all the things they did and got away with when they were still home...again, TMI!! I could have done without that knowledge! 😉
I get you 100%. We never had a baby sitter til our oldest was able to do it, now & here stories & am so grateful they survived when we did take a night for ourselves, hahaha!!!! Love & Hugs!!!
Lol we do the same to my mom. We laughed my sisters and I broke this farmer statue she had and we set the head back on so the next time she moved it she thought she broke it. My mom was like what you guys broke it lol
Clever! A little sneaky, but clever!!
Lol we were so sneaky lol
Lol so funny. All of us are grown too but I will never stop snuggling my momma
I still snuggle mine, I know she is still with me!!! Love & Hugs!!!
Yes, it’s really hard to watch a family member suffer. Remember that she’s still the same person/Mother you have always known. I applaud you for your tenacity! You’ll always be able to carry her with you and know that you were there for her! What a blessing! These difficult times will help you when she’s gone. Your level of acceptance will already, partially be in existence. It sounds to me like you’re doing a great job by repaying her now for all she has done for you in her lifetime. Your kindness is beaming! ❤️😊❤️
Aww thank you so much. It’s so nice to hear because sometimes it feels like I am not doing enough. Just being there for her probably means so much to her. I have three sisters and two of them are buying her all these different things to help her out at home. I can’t afford that but I can offer my time. I realize that time is better than material things. I try not to get caught up in their drama of who can buy Mom the most things. It’s kind of like a competition between the two of them.
You’re absolutely right! Know that you’re doing enough! Your support and love is all she really wants anyway...🌷❤️🌷
Exactly 🤗🤗🤗
Yes I do get how it feels I was raised by my grandmother and about 2years ago she was diegosed with stage 2 breast cancer and when my aunts told me I just did not know what to think I was so upset that this had to happen to her all of the sergurys and all of the radiation and chemo was so hard to see her go through and now she has been through what I really truly thought she would not make it through.Your mother is a very strong women and you are too.Your mother can do this!!!And so can you
Aww I am so sorry you and her had to go through that. And thanks she is a strong woman my mother. I call her Wonder Woman
Thank you so much and tell Wonder Woman I said hello 🙃
Will do 🤗
I have a close relative who had open heart surgery twice. I am obviously not a doctor, but have seen the before and after of these surgeries up close. The fact that your mother has gotten through the surgery is huge!! In my experience the recovery takes longer than doctors say - six months for full recovery. These surgeries, though, can produce an amazing amount of improvement. I think you have already gotten through the worst part. xx
Aww that’s good news I can tell my mom . She’s seems very discouraged at the moment
Feeling discouraged at this point is actually normal. In the US doctors usually recommend short term anti-depressants after heart surgery. She just needs to do the breathing exercises and walking as her doctor tells her. Also, here they advise the patient to measure the progress week to week, NOT day to day. xx
Exactly
Well done for being there, perk. It's not easy n I don't think anyone finds it so. I lost my lovely Mum last year. I'd shared looking after her, with my Sister n Neice, for 5 years n I'm so glad I did. Just try to be strong. My best thoughts are with you. 😊✌️🌻
Aww I am so sorry for your loss. And I will stay strong for her
👍😊
Sure it's hard honey...the fear of loosing them and feeling helpless that you can't make them feel better, or that you can't fix them...and that you want your old mom back like she used to be. I can only relate from being with my best friend and my sister who were both going through a battle at the same time with cancer. It's scary and you just hate seeing them so frail. But remember....often when people are very sick like this, people stop seeing them because they can't deal with it, and they become isolated after time because their lifestyle has changed so much. And I remember my friend telling me that was the worst part of her cancer, was how people just stopped coming around, she said that hurt more than anything.
Aww that’s so sad. As much as it hurts me to see her so frail, I will keep going. I know it makes her smile. I am okay with putting her needs before my own. She has always done that for me.
your a good person, and a good daughter to your Mom to do that, just you being there for them means the world, it really does....it gives them strength to heal and get better. Hold her hand, be strong for her.... remember her whole world has been put on hold too....she is no longer able to be who she was....and it's terribly hard on her. She is having a hard time adjusting to not being able to be the person she was too. Both of you will find a way with this new life for her...she's thankfully still with you...that's a blessing....
I went through the same with my mom..she had a couple of heart attacks..then a triple bypass but never got back to being herself. Maybe because of the restrictions ..she was a independent woman. I loved her the most in the world..seeing her pain and frustration...at times..i sensed her fear..it broke my heart..it was pure agonizing. I agree, take some time for yourself..you need it
Its usually much harder on the loved ones as it is on the patient...be strong..its no easy road to travel..
Yes my mom is so discouraged. She just keeps saying she feels worthless because she can’t do anything. I keep reminding her that she’s only two weeks out of surgery and that the doctor says she progressing right on schedule and are happy with how she’s doing.
Hi,
Year 1999, my father was diagnosed with end-stage renal disease and went through dialysis. 2013, my mom had the same diagnosis and also went through the same treatments. It’s true, it’s heartbreaking to see our loved ones going through pain. When my parents were sick, I had to pretend I was ok and I didn’t want them to see me crying. It was a sad journey- physically, emotionally and financially. Thankfully, my family was able to get through it.
I’m sorry that your family is going through this, please know that we are here and we care for you. I pray for peace and strength and complete healing for your mom. Take care.
It sounds like you had to deal with a lot too. I am hanging in there.
Hi,
Year 1999, my father was diagnosed with end-stage renal disease and went through dialysis. 2013, my mom had the same diagnosis and also went through the same treatments. It’s true, it’s heartbreaking to see our loved ones going through pain. When my parents were sick, I had to pretend I was ok and I didn’t want them to see me crying. It was a sad journey- physically, emotionally and financially. Thankfully, my family was able to get through it.
I’m sorry that your family is going through this, please know that we are here and we care for you. I pray for peace and strength and complete healing for your mom. Take care.
Hey Shante, I am so sorry your mama is going through this. It’s the worst feeling in the world. I can relate so much with my daddy. He’s been really getting worse with his COPD after years of smoking. My grandmother, his mother, actually begged him on her death bed back in the 90’s to please stop smoking. She lost her battle with lung cancer. Watching the man that I love more than anyone go from the strongest man in the world, to someone that needs so much help is heartbreaking. It’s hard for me to handle some days. I’m his baby, & I know he tries to put on a smile for me. He knows I’m battling my own demons & he doesn’t want to make it worse, but it doesn’t help. We have such a deep connection that I know when he’s hurting. I wish there were words I could say to help you in your situation with your mama, but I don’t have anything other than love her deeply. Love her with everything you got. We only get one set of parents. I’m here for you girlie. I hope you have a good night with her. <3 xoxo
Awww I am so sorry for your loss and also about the situation with your dad. It’s so hard to see a parent or loved one suffering. I just want to make it go away or go back to when everything was fine. Her life is forever changed and I know she’s having a hard time adjusting.
I wish your mom a speedy recovery. And you are such a wonderful daughter. You did not let your anxiety to interfere with your love and duty. I admire you so much!!!
Aww thanks so much for the kind words of support. I take deep breaths on the way over to my parents house and listen to my music
yes, good idea. I don't have my parents around anymore. But i did the same when i was going to visit. And sometimes i chickened out, because of anxiety ...but my mom was a difficult person(but i still feel guilty that i did that).
Yes i feel your pain. My mother has Alzheimers and she is getting worse and worse. So hard watching her deteriorate. Nothing i can do. So hard to smile around her too x
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