First things first, what I’m going to say is not rape, but I’m not totally sure what to call it other than sexual assault.
Basically when I was around 13 years old (I’m 20 now), my older male cousin, maybe around 15-16 at the time, groped me with his boner in bed, kissed my neck, stomach, and legs, and just did all kinds of inappropriate stuff. I didn’t really stop it from happening, I was just kind of going with it. I’m extremely “sheltered” today and was back then, so I didn’t understand the possible severity of what happened. Ive never thought much about it since then because I hated the feeling I got when I thought about it, which I realize now may be trauma?
But, I just got news that his stepdad, my uncle, used to rape my other cousin, my uncles stepson. Since that information came out, my uncle and his wife, my moms sister, are getting a divorce and things are just tense. But hearing what happened just really hit me because I’ve finally realized what my cousin did to me years ago. I’ve been breaking down crying all day because I don’t know what to do. Do I tell my mom? It is her sisters son and I don’t want to ruin family ties even more. Not to mention my dad would literally go ballistic. And the humiliation I’d feel! And, I don’t even know if it’s his fault. What if this is all my fault because I didn’t stop it. Then again he was older. I’m just not sure what to do.
I didn’t include every single thing I experienced and felt in this post, but I feel like this sums it up. Please give advice! Literally never been through anything like this.