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Living with Anxiety
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Crippling fatigue and brain fog ruining my life

Male, 23, 5’10, 165 lbs, White

Hello,

My health has felt like it’s been in the crapper for way too long. When I was 12-13 I was diagnosed with mild GERD (acid reflux). Right around this time I also started developing a bit of general anxiety, but again wasn't debilitating. And then, starting around age 16, I woke up one day and noticed I was a little tired for some odd reason. I have been tired ever since that day. Not even a day or a minute of feeling well again. I've gradually gotten tireder and tireder over the course of the past 7-8 years, to the point where I'm at now where I can hardly function because the exhaustion and resulting symptoms have become so debilitating. So basically, my life revolves around me being exhausted.

Many of the symptoms below have been here since the fatigue started, but have very gradually gotten exponentially worse and worse as time continues to goes by.

SYMPTOMS:

• Chronic fatigue 24/7 that has gradually gotten worse and worse over 7-8 year span. Used to be more of a tiredness feeling, not necessarily sleepy, but now it's fatigue + sleepiness

• Non-restorative sleep

• Drugged/hungover type feeling

• Energy is now non-existent

• Cognitive decline (Concentration, alertness, memory, focus, BRAIN FOG, processing/recalling/stumbling over words and sentences, etc.)

• I rarely can even get startled or scared easily anymore cause I’m so tired

• Anxious/stressed/overwhelmed more easily. Everything is a chore

• Decision making is awful

• Balance/coordination feels off. Started bumping into things lately, tripping over self

• Motor skills decline

• Hand-eye coordination decline

• Spatial awareness decline

• Dizziness upon standing often

• Night sweats often

• Hypersomnia (Usually fall asleep very easily, rarely have insomnia)

• Eye floaters 24/7

• Light sensitivity (seem more sensitive to bright light/sunlight)

• Yawning throughout the day

• Numbness all over body. Tough to explain, but extremities/body parts feel so utterly exhausted and numb-like to the touch. Like I can feel my arm getting touched by my hand, but can’t feel my hand touching my arm.

• Senses feel dulled. Hearing, taste, smell, touch, all feel weakened and suppressed

• Libido low. Orgasm feels much less intense

• Alcohol usually hits me much harder now. As a result, I feel intoxicated more easily/quickly

• Have a perpetual drunk-like feeling like I'm not quite in real life. Never fully feel "there"

• Slow now both mentally and physically

• Head almost always feels very tired and heavy

• Tilt head to the side often

• Skin seems worse (Dryness, zits, marks, etc)

• Involuntary weight loss

• Slight thirst increase and dry mouth/throat

• Sometimes lump type feeling in throat (mostly at night)

• Minor acid reflux off and on

• Anhedonia and apathy as I’ve gotten tireder and tireder. I have gradually become indifferent to most things. I literally come across as an emotionless zombie now because I am so damn exhausted 24/7. Almost nothing phases or interests me anymore

ADDITIONAL INFO:

I find it kind of weird that even strong stuff like Adderall, Modafinil, caffeine, kratom, CBD, or 4 different antidepressants/anxieties make virtually no difference in me, no matter the dosage. It sometimes makes me feel a little anxious/on edge, but that's about it. Exercise doesn't really seem to affect me one way or another, I do not suffer from insomnia (in fact I fall asleep very easily most nights), don’t get headaches super often, I have not been exposed to toxic mold (lived in 5 different places since this started), my diet is extremely healthy, appetite is good, I do not have any joint pain, never had surgery, stay very well hydrated, my childhood and family life are extremely well, I have slightly elevated CO2 levels in my blood (but nothing dangerous), slightly elevated bilirubin levels, slightly elevated B12 levels, WBC on the lower end of normal, and slightly elevated ferritin levels.

I was diagnosed about 5 months ago with very mild mixed sleep apnea (AHI of 6.5) and have been using a CPAP machine but have not noticed any improvement with fatigue or fogginess. Although the CPAP has gotten rid of my near nightly bad night sweats, I noticed as soon as I stop CPAP the sweating comes back

TESTS + THINGS DONE/TRIED:

Blood panels tests, urinary tests, vitamin serum/mineral deficiency checks, hormones, diabetes, heart scan, chest scans, head MRI, cortisol AM and PM levels, HIV, hepatitis, celiac, anemia, food allergy testing, full thyroid testing, antibodies, h. pylori, ENT doctor to rule out any structural issues.

Currently on my fourth anti-anxiety/depressant Prozac (really don't think this is the issue, but I'm low on options now), Modafinil, Adderall, kratom, CBD edibles, probiotcs, a few months using a CPAP machine for very mild mixed sleep apnea, methylated B12 supplements (I think gave me slightly splotchy skin on face), methylated folate supplements, more sunlight/sports, no sex/masturbating, more caffeine/no caffeine, glucose tablets, quality dark chocolate, antihistamines, diet changes, more exercise/less exercise, therapy, meditation and deep breathing exercises, spiritual healing, sleeping elevated, taping my mouth closed when I sleep, saw a couple naturopathic docs, and SO MANY damn supplements including kava kava, chamomile, 5-HTP, B12, ashwagandha, magnesium, melatonin, fish oil, vitamin D3,

Overall, it feels like I was hit by a truck. From the moment I wake up to the moment I pass out from sheer exhaustion at night. Everything feels like it's suppressed by this fog that has gradually gotten worse and worse over time. For example, caffeine’s effect, sex drive, post-workout adrenaline and endorphins, getting plenty of sleep, etc. I can sort of FEEL all these things for the most part, but it feels hidden and pushed down from this utter exhaustion. It’s like nothing can surpass the fatigue and fog. It's gotten to the point where I feel like I'm living my life from the backseat and am just going through the day mindlessly. And the thing that sucks is that I want to do things and live life, and am still pretty optimistic, but I'm just too fucking out of it, it's embarrassing.

Any opinions/advice is greatly appreciated, thanks!

6 Replies
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Hi I haven't read all of your post as it's much long for me to concentrate on, but what occurred to me is it possible you are suffering from CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome?). I know this can occur randomly after an infection or something and is often diagnosed after all other options have been ruled out. x

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I know the exact feeling! When I was going through the worst time of my anxiety and panic attacks- this was me 24/7 for years. The weight just started to lift when I started to doing therapy 1-2x a week, acupuncture and yoga every week. Granted, its super expensive, but I have never felt better. (I still have flare ups, but its not a constant). Medicine always made me feel worse, and I always just felt like a non-functional floating blob. I tried literally everything you did- and none of it worked for me either. Good luck & im sorry you are feeling bad. Hugs.

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Glad to hear you are feeling better! Do you think you figured out what was causing your symptoms?

Also, about how old were you when you first started noticing symptoms?

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hie ,can i pm u?

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I was about 21, started off as mild anxiety, and being tired- then by 22 is was full force! I had panic attacks non stop and then I went in to what you described above for years!! What I have heard is that your body is on overload 247- so it goes in to this dissociation mode, which after a while, becomes the "Norm" to protect you. so basically, being able to relax, and "re-train" my brain with meditation and what not has been the best for me. I am now 27 :) Its tough- for sure- but the best thing is that you recognize it, which means you have a perfectly healthy brain (from what my therapist told me) You got this!

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Hi. You sound like u have my symptoms. i have hasimotos and lasr 3 years hit bottom. now my TSH is extremely low 0.01. this would.make one hyper generally.

Now my cortisol seems off as awell ATCH, BUN. T3 & T4 are in range. I also use modafinil and it can do a couple things.

1 you can build up a tollerance so it doesn't work

2. it can eventually cause adrenal, Pituitary and other glads stop working. these produce the fight or flight help give you energy and process Gulcose.

My docs are concerned I have an addrenal issue. This could explain my extreme fatigue, weight loss, and many of the symptoms.

Modafinil is a stimulant so you may be experiencing addrenal insufficiency.

Best to have them test for Addisons Disease, Adrenal Insufficiency and make sure everything is working together.

That is where I am now, waiting for results and waiting for more tests. i think the Modafinial came after the problens. i needed a pick me up and it helped, but no longer and I feel 150 years old.

You may try looking into that. ENDOs can run all the test.

Best to you.

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