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Living with Anxiety
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My experience with gastroscopy and anxiety

I had an app for a gastroscopy evening app 18.45 (If you have anxiety or very nervous I recommend changing your time to early morning) I worried all day moments of anxiety weather I could do it thoughts of oh what if that what if this.

On the way to the hospital I was feeling Dry throat/mouth

Very tense

Shakey stomach

Scared

Thoughts going crazy

No concentration

Legs feel a little wobbly

Breathless short shallow breathing

I could not switch it off my mind was like this right up until I went in, i was taken to a side room where is be brought back to recover and i was so nervous blotches on my neck and chest area i was so scared. I sat on the bed they knew I was nervous I opted for sedation and was given 2mg midazolam and 2 squirts of throat spray.

The procedure was fine I did gag a lot but was fine, I had biopsies taken which I did feel but again that was fine too.

I remember it all, but was very relaxed.

After I was taken to the room to recover I could feel where they had taken the biopsies it felt a tad tender. In my throat if felt like I had wind stuck almost tried to ear when I got home but every time I was swallowing it hurt so I didn't eat tea just drank water. I fell asleep on the couch. Woke up at 11 went to bed but had a restless night from the pain in my throat was hurting every now and then.

I hope this helps someone.

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Oh you poor thing hope the outcome will be good. Can relate to that i prefer early appointments too. But the only time i feel good is at a hosp lol. At least i know I'm safe there.

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Me too, if I were to get another I would go early. As supposed to waiting all day.

Glad you feel like that when you go to hospital

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Well done jjb1983 :-)

I think you dealt with it fantastically as someone with anxiety having to go through these procedures makes it 100 times worse so you should be so proud in how well you handled it

I am petrified of Hospitals to be honest and not a place I feel safe , I think it is that overwhelming fear that gets in my way

Rest up today :-)

Take Care x

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Morning lulu-1

Well last night afte4 we spoke I managed to eat ice cream went to bed after falling asleep on the couch and woke up with diarreah I think I could possibly have dairy intolerance.

Look away if your sqeemish lol but this morning it's more like jelly diarreah, windy bubbly and runny. Do you have ibs?

Not sure if it's because of the stress response to what I had done or like I say dairy. I've had it before, so I drink lacto free milk but last night I had the mcflurry.

I've woke a few times last night with pain in my throat. So I'm super tired today i thought id sleep well with having the sedative but nope if the pain wasnt there think i wpuld have.

Do you have any plans today?

Thank you

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That will have been a combination of stress , then going with out food for several hours and yes ice cream was possibly one of the worse things to eat even though I can see why you had it because of your throat and ice cream goes straight through me to !

I do suffer with IBS as well as this diverticulitis and one of the worries why I think I should go and have the camera up where the sun don't shine :-/

I am sure once you get back to eating your own diet what suites you it will all come good again :-)

Me well nothing exciting, cleaning my bedroom today and maybe a bit of ironing we shall see :-)

First I need to get dressed as I have not done that yet :-o

You take it easy you have nothing to worry about regarding your health you have been checked out and you are ok , that pesky anxiety is what you need to concentrate on that is trying to tell you otherwise :-/ x

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Yeah probably, they will prob want to send me for a colonoscopy too hmmm which I don't mind. Although I will be the same as i was yesterday lol.

I think if they say for you to go get it done you should just bite the bullet and get it done, there not nice but they don't last long.

I'm sure if you didn't want the prep they can give you an enema. Have you had any endoscopies before?

Cleaning sometimes takes my mind off things ironing however yak I iron as I need but tend to buy clothes that don't need ironing lol.

Nice clean bedding is lovely isn't it.

I am a little apprehensive of the biopsies they took.

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Why do you think they will want to send you for that next ? :-o

I think for me the problem is because I have agoraphobia and severe ocd if it comes to be having to have something done , not only do I have to cope with the anxiety of that but even worse getting me out and getting me there and then the ocd once I am there goes into overdrive so it is such a lot to deal with in one go , if you get what I mean

We shall see so far the doctor has tried to treat me but I don't think we are getting very far , will see what she says when I see her in a couple of weeks

O yes clean bedding best thing ever , even more when the better weather is here and you can dry it outside , one of my favourite things :-) x

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Just with the stomach issues diarreah to with weight loss

With yours have you had weight loss?

I think if you get a chance to have one done go for it they can tell all sorts from them.

It will be over in no time.

You can have valium before you go I think.

Would that help you?

Fresh bedding is lovely. Did you manage your room and ironing?

I know we need some sunshine now it's freezing out today.

Have you heard of exposure therapy or tried it?

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No I don't loose weight , I get bloated though and look even bigger

I go from constipation one minute to having the runs the next !

It is driving me mad as I have hemorrhoid's to which as you can maybe imagine adds to the already uncomfortable situation

I always have to have several Valium if I have to go somewhere , but even with them it is the biggest nightmare ever

Shall see what she says when I go next to see her

Did your Doctor say they would send you for that next ?

No never had exposure therapy , a bit complicated but we know till I have had counselling there is no point trying other therapies they will not work till we have dealt with certain things

Got a bit distracted this afternoon and I managed to get my bedroom done but not happy I had to be quick :-D but no ironing got done there was not a lot so will do it tomorrow

How about you how are you feeling now ? have you had an ok day ? x

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Ohh yeah I've had them before they are not nice.

So painful too.

It's good the valium work for you are they strong?

No I've got a follow up app with a hospital doc next week see what he says.

I think that's it see what they can recommend for you.

It's nice when we achieve at least something though.

I'm anxious as anything tonight, not sure why. My face gets very red and hot too pain in the backside. I don't think it helps been tired and that last night.

Do you get facial blushing when your anxious and hot?

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The Valium doesn't work very well to be honest , my anxiety is stronger than the Valium !

I can take up to 4 a day they are only 2 mg but if I did take 4 a day that would be 8mg , only very very rare I ever have to resort to that as I would rather not take them but when needs must I do

See what they say when you go back they may say that it is anxiety because I think it is to be honest even though I am no Doctor but anxiety makes a right mess of the digestive system and affects both ends !

I don't go red in the face but I go red hot and start sweating which is awful , it can be freezing and I will be sweating !

I think your anxiety tonight will be a combination of everything you have been going through you are still grieving to , you need to take this all on board and tell yourself I have been through such a lot there is no wonder I feel anxious , you need a good rest :-) x

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Not sure if you will find this helpful.

I'm crying watching it because I know how they feel but think it will be good to watch.

I find that valium doesn't work well 2mg don't if your in a high state of anxiety. Might be worth asking for 5mg valium when you see your doc.

It possibly could be fingers crossed it's just that.

I get Rosie checks but face feels very hot. I don't sweat just feel hot. It will effect us all in different ways just some are the same as others.

I know I just need to rest, well as much as my mind will let me.

I have felt exhausted today.

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O I had to stop watching it I was finding it to distressing and I could feel my anxiety going up :-o

I don't have one fear about a certain thing but I fear of any where if it is not my home , but my ocd adds to it all as well as I feel I am getting contaminated to :-o

It feels like I am looking through a mirror at a horror movie with all I can see when I am out and as if I am on the outside looking in at the horror movie going on all around me :-o

Well these 2mg I can take at least 8mg a day and if I wanted more I could have them but my anxiety gets so powerful if I am in a bad state they just don't touch me !

My mind has never shut up for abut 6 months now I know the feeling , it drives you mad , it is like it is waiting for you to wake up in a morning sat on the bed and saying " There you are , now start worrying , have you forgotten this and that "

Maybe the Spring will make us feel better to cope and this Counselling when it eventually and hopefully happens :-)

We have had a bit of Snow here this evening , don't think it is settling though :-) x

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Morning lulu-1

I had 8 hours sleep I must of needed it well it was still broken but I was able to drift off again even when I did wake up.

Oh sorry i thought you might of liked it. There are other videos on OCD on that channel too that you might be ok with.

Why do you think it got you anxious watching it?

Sorry that how it all makes you feel it must be tough. When you say the valium does not work how do you cope does anything work to take your mind off things?

I know right it's a pain I've woke up this morning and bam my mind has said right come on think about how anxious you've been we are going to try and do it again.

Worry about feeling worry, anxiety about worrying, thinking I don't even know what I'm worrying or anxious about.

Well most the time it's little niggles in my body here and there.

I feel so tense all the time do you?

I have neck aches shoulder aches.

But it's from been tense.

We had the snow on Thursday it lay here 🙄 I don't like the snow but loved it as a child.

I think it's my anxiety really that don't like it.

How did you sleep?

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Hello

It was just I was feeling their pain , it felt like someone was or would try and get me to do it and it all got to much at the thought , I could not be pushed like that at all

Glad you slept , I am shattered , Son woke us up vomiting at 3 this Morning and he has not stopped yet 6 hours later , it must be a bug but I am shattered and of course concerned , I have never known anyone keep vomiting for so long so no I did not sleep , shall be watching him closely all day , be no food for him poor thing and fingers crossed slowly it will stop :-(

Hope you have a good day :-) x

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Aww sorry that's how it makes you feel.

Don't you think something like that would help you?

I've a feeling that my therapist will do this with me.

As I've got a lot of avoiding at the moment like asda, driving and with ppl in the car when I'm driving.

I'm sure it's just a sickness bug is this the son that works in care? Maybe he's caught it from there.

So have you been awake from 3am?

You will be so tired. Hope you get some rest and hope your son is feeling better.

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Something like that would give me a heart attack , I have a fear of all the outside no matter where it is , maybe eventually but not yet

Yes I feel it is a bug , a good one and he does work in the caring profession so could have picked it up there , now my ocd is in overdrive wiping twice as much in fear I will get it :-o

Will be a long day today as I am so tired

O well up and on wards as they say :-) x

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I bet you would surprise yourself. I think when we are like we are we don't think we are strong enough.

I hope you've managed to rest at some point today, I can only imagine how your OCD is, when mine are poorly they are bedroom bound if they need anything I take it lol.

How's your day been?

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I have been agoraphobic for 16 years now and I never

He has been really ill , one part of the day we were not sure if to phone a Doctor out but he stopped been sick for the first time after 14 hours of throwing up every 30 mins and he fell asleep

Not long since woke up , he has pains in his stomach but managing to keep some water down so far

It has made me feel anxious all day but got my ironing done

Trying to not worry over him but hard for me even hubby says he has never seen anyone as ill as this with a sickness bug , but trying to relax and watch TV :-)

Your day not been a bad one ? x

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Wow have you had any counselling at all in them years?

Has anything helped you at all over the years apart from valium?

How do you think it started?

Oh dear I seen a poor girl been sick before and she was like that I thought when she was been sick her poor stomach muscles must be hurting so bad, as She wasn't even bringing anything up. The doc gave her anti sickness injection.

I hope he's better soon.

I bet it has stuff like that makes me anxious too. It's good you have managed to get your ironing done. You will sleep tonight i bet if your sons sickness settles.

How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

My day has been ok felt anxious this morning but went out to my sister in laws, then my mams, then his mams then we went to the pub (No one in so I was happy) for a game of pool and so my partner could have a pint. I've been forcing myself to go out today and sit and wait when I feel anxious, couldn't do it at my sister in laws as she had visitors I didn't know and she has little ones very loud, and I was already anxious from driving there so I only stayed there 5 mins.

Hope your managing to chill and watch tv.

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No never had counselling as been agoraphobic they always get to the part about coming to them and when I say I won't be able to do it then the door shuts again but hopefully with the help of my MP we might be getting some where

Had anxiety as I see it all my life as I was an anxious child

That just grew with me and the ocd crept in to join it

I never liked socialising but would even though I would always feel so anxious and be happy to get back home

Then at nearly 40 I had to have a Hysterectomy , I had no choice it had to be done , so imagine the trauma that put me through

After the op I started getting pains , would be in my arms , shoulders , legs you name it I was never away from the Doctors , they would jot it all down then send me away

So one day I was with hubby in supermarket , I did not feel well as was very anxious when all of a sudden pain like I had never felt before in my face and right through my body just surged through me I thought I was going to die there and then , I left the shopping and we went to the Doctors , that was the last piece of the jigsaw they needed to tell my I had fibromialgia , that was one of the worse flare ups I have had with it and was so bad I nearly had to take morphine for the pain , it just started to ease before I ended up on that

So the whole experience was so bad that without even knowing I started to find excuses to not go out , send my hubby , send my Son , use the internet , I did not even realise what I was doing or what it was turning into till one day when I tried to step out I just could not face been out and that is how it all started without me even realising what I was doing but the fear of me taking ill again was the start as well as it had always been an effort to be out anyway

How old am only just had my Birthday was just after Christmas ( trying to make myself sound younger here somehow :-D ) but 56 , say it quick and it does not sound so bad , but a young 56 ok :-D

Good for you getting out , keep pushing yourself even when you feel anxious I wished at the time I started to stop going out someone had told me it would end up like this and I needed to keep doing it because I would have

O I keep thinking my stomach is hurting now , watching him been so ill is bothering me that I could get it , but hubby could to and is he bothered no the difference between someone with anxiety and someone that doesn't :-/ x

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Well I think with you having it for that long and managing to look after your family, and going through having a hysterectomyyou have done great. You might not feel like it but what you have been through shows how strong you are.

That must of been so scary while you were in the supermarket. Don't you have to take meds for your fibro?

I've heard b vitamins and magnesium are good for that. I know you have a fear of tablets but they are ok, have you tried cbd oil? Or maybe roll yourself a nice joint lol.

I can see why you struggle to go out and it must be so hard for you.

I think you will benefit loads from counselling.

56 isn't old but your only as old as you feel 🤣

I'm pleased I got out makes me feel like I've achieved somethi g even if it's just small.

I doubt you will get it, your mind will try and play tricks with you.

Try not to worry about it you can't change it or stop it.

I know right it's the same with me and my partner. But he just doesn't understand at all what I'm going through.

Does your husband support you?

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Hello :-)

Well I have 3 kids all adults 38 the eldest , then 32 and my baby because he always will be been the youngest is 24 and somehow someway they have all turned out ok , how I will never know but maybe I did something right :-/

I have a fear of meds massive one so for pain control I use painkillers , different strengths depending on how bad it is the highest strength I try not to use often but sometimes it is a must when nothing else is working

Well how is hubby with me if I had answered this Morning I would have said a right Royal pain in the you know what as he was getting on my nerves all over a vase of flowers ...dont ask :-D

But when we are not having our little moments which all couples do he is so good with me , I am very lucky I know everyone that meets him will say how did you find him and how good to me he is

Does he understand ?

To a certain degree he does but in another way he doesn't

I think he has got used to me and the way I am , when it comes to my ocd 90% of the time he gets it right , 90% of the time he senses when to leave me alone or when I need to talk in fact sometimes he comes in the room and says , do you need a moan :-D

But of course one of the reasons we are all here chatting with each other in these Communities is unless you have or have had anxiety you will never know just how bad it feels and how bad it affects us every day and he cannot feel that but he tries to understand the best he can and I accept he won't know how I am feeling because he does not suffer with anxiety

I do know how ever that deep down it hurts him to watch me suffer as I have seen tears in his eyes before when I have been talking to people about it but he tries not to show it because I think he tries to stay strong to help me :-)

He does have more patience than a saint though he really does , I have no clue how he does it as I would not live with me if someone asked me to :-D

So I would say YES he does support me the best he can :-) x

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I had that procedure, wasn't nervous at all....the BEST SLEEP you'll EVER have!!! You'll be FINE

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I've already had it done, I was awake the whole time relaxed but awake. And thought with it been a late app is sleep on the n8ght time nope throat pain kept waking me. Thank you

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