High anxiety and trying to stay

[Starrlight]

I feel so messed up. Trying to be with pain in present moment. It seems hard to function and feels like I am falling apart while everything around me is going and I am spinning away from it all and trying to grasp onto hope. It feels like too much. Is it true I wonder that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. I have to admit I am angry at God at myself It is fact that no one knows exactly what happens after this life. Or who God actually is exactly if He is at all. Well I wonder what God has in store. If He is the Controller I am begging Him for help. I cannot keep doing this; I feel like I will get bitter. I just can’t do this. It’s seems like no matter how hard I try I suffer so much that it’s teally not worth it. Way more pain than pleasure. I think of my kids and I keep going. How much longer? Maybe I will need to check myself in somewhere until this passes but that’s even more stress being around all those strangers in a strange place worrying about how my kiddos are doing... seems no matter what, I am doomed is what it seems.

[melbrown]

Beautiful Starrlight... wish could hug you IRL right now... understand how you are feeling... Sending lots of love & hugs... we will get through this.🧡

[Starrlight in reply to melbrown]

Thank you Beautiful Mel. I cannot do this anymore. I just seriously don’t think I have any strength left but as I am here and recalling that crying releases pain I wish I could cry hard but only a couple of little tears come then it shuts off. I cannot do this anymore. I really can’t. I never recall feeling so much pain I recall only once when possibly I was in this much pain. And a miracle happened ... what if there is no miracle this time?

[Hidden]

Heavenly Father, Starrlight is trying to get your attention, make her to know how to go about getting your attention Lord God so you can speak peace to the storms in her life. Lord God there is nothing too difficult, You are able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we can ask or think. Do it for your child, for I know you love her and that you know her pain and want to heal everything that is broken. God I cry out to you, help Lord! you are a present help. In Jesus name I pray!

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Needhelp123 thank you for the prayer. I need it more than ever. I think the pain is bad and I can barely function. I can’t go on waiting for a tiny bit of good attached to a long stretch of bad... even on good days I suck. What did I do to deserve this? Well I guess what did any of us here do? It just feels like my life is over. I amthinking of what the circumstances would be that I would decide it was time to.take my life.

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Starrlight, I have struggled with fear and anxiety most of my life. Sometimes so bad, scared of my own shadow. But one thing kept me going, hope, hope to see a better day, hope to be healed, hope for deliverance. And God has come through. I am on my way to the other side because I kept hope. God loves those that hope in his mercy. You have to find out who God is Starrlight. That is when you will see your night break into day. I am going to go into fasting and prayer for you, for me, and for all who God places on my heart.

[JAYnLA]

Big love to you Star. Remember yesterday when you felt almost normal? That's because the essential part of you - the thing that is really you - is not 'sick'. It is not 'damaged'. And it will surface again. When the pain is this great, allow yourself a lot of slack. Put one foot in front of the other. It will shift. This morning I was in a bad place and three hours later it is lifting somewhat. This thing we are dealing with is not linear and it changes all the time. This will pass. I'm so glad you're here and thank you for sharing your difficulties. You can do this - and the proof is that you actually are doing it. You ARE getting through it.

[Starrlight]

JAYnLA I don’t want to hurt anyone but I can’t take it anymore. I know I have to keep going on but part of me just can’t without being destructive to myself. I do care for my family I care and feel ashamed to have these feelings.

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Cry out to God Starrlight, cry out to God.

[HeathersWellness]

Dearest Starrlight. Miracles happen every day, even those we don't see. God says He will hear and answer us when we pray. If we believe and do not doubt, we can expect to receive what we've asked for in prayer. He also promises never to leave us alone -- whether it's during the good or the bad times, He'll be by our side.

I love this song. When I'm going through a difficult season, it's one of my favorites. It's called, God Will Make A Way. The songwriter wrote this song when he was experiencing great trials in his own life. I hope it encourages you as well -- bit.ly/1Onhv7P.

Be strong and don't lose heart. Praying for you my friend and let us know how you're doing.

[Icanbeathis2016]

Your questions and doubts are coming from a genuine place of being hurt and disappointed in what you are going through. I utterly understand. I too have my doubts and worries too. I will continue to pray and keep seeking for the truths and hold on to the hope that God will indeed show me what I need to see and give me confirmation. Keep on keeping on. It is definitely a tough journey when you feel that you are in a constant struggle and feel afflicted. My kids keep me going too. I think of them through this whole thing. They are the reason I get sad going through this but they are also the reason I won't give up. Keep praying and holding on. And cry and pray and cry some more if you need to. I'm with you. God help us. 🙏🏾

[snflwrgrl]

I used to suffer from anxiety and anxiety attacks. I went through an anxiety workbook with a counselor and it taught me to recognize when the anxiety was first coming on and to talk myself down from the anxiety instead of up into a full blown anxiety attack. Learning to control it really made a difference in my life. I wonder if something like that would make a difference in your life too. I do know that if you pray and ask God to reveal himself to you that he will. He is evident in my life and he has revealed himself to me and I know anything that he has done for me he will gladly do for you. Don’t lose hope!! God is alive and in control and you matter!

[Ddorne]

Starrliight,

I’m so sorry you are in pain. Does any medication help? Sometimes I think it definitely can. Other times I think it’s not working anymore.

I have OCD So I always have a source of fresh anxiety! What you said before about naming the demons really is great advice. You know these things come and go. And sometimes get better bit by bit. I hope you have a therapist to

Talk to. I’ve been fighting depression and anxiety since in

Was18, I’m 62 now. And yes I can see there are remiissions. Sometimes you need special help, I put myself in a hospital 2 years ago

And it was a good choice. It was scary but turned out to be helpful.

You are in my prayers.

LD