Why is mindfulness so hard to practice?? Anxiety and all other feelings

[Jmerrick22]

My boyfriend has been up since Thursday and I’ve been spending everyday with him. It’s been really great. My anxiety’s been up pretty good lately, but it went down. However, the day he goes him which will be today I have this overwhelming sense of anxiety of when will I see him again. And I’m already missing him and tearing up. This happens everytime almost. Like I love him to death, and what sucks is he isn’t even leaving til later but I can’t take my mind off of it and be in the moment or present. How Can I keep practing mindfulness ? What would you do? I really need advice. The therapist said it’s because he’s a support system and i look to him for my happiness, and maybe I do to some extent. I don’t know. How Can I relax? I’m usually good when I either have Ativan or smoke. Gonna try cbd oil I think. I keep hearing that it really works. Any advice ??