I know about depersonalization symptoms. But I have these days where I feel like I’m dreaming, or did I die and someone else replace me kinda thing I don’t know how to describe it. I feel like since I’ve gotten anxiety I think about dying a lot. Some days I’m like if something happened to me today idc then I have days where I’ll get bad anxiety and I’ll be like oh my god what’s wrong I need to get to a hospital etc. I’ve experienced paranoia before and you name it. I have myself psyched out that I’m going to end up going back into a depressive episode and all this crap. Like literally I just got a new job and things aren’t that bad. But I don’t start for another two weeks so I’m not working and have a lot of time on my hands. I was on medicine for awhile and at some point it did help long ago but the side effects: I’ve been on Paxil, lexapro, Zoloft, Prozac, cymbalta etc. I’m so terrified of new meds and I’m scared of snapping and trying to hurt myself or something if I start new meds. This anxiety is literally taking me over. I wanna get it under control, and I think once I’m back to work ill be fine, but this is nuts. I feel like crying because I can’t get much relief. I’m just scared I’m going to be permanently in this state with no relief.
Does anyone else experience these lovely s... - Anxiety Support
You are not alone. Please look into finding a crisis network phone number so you can call any time and talk with someone. They have been such a comfort to me in times of panic. Knowing that someone cares and understands that you are in need of help can be a big relief. I also recommend going in to the emergency room and explaining that you are having feelings of loss or reality, possibly thoughts of suicide. I went through a manic/psychotic episode in March due to medication reaction to prednisone I was placed on the 5th floor psychiatric ward for five days and it was such a relief to know that doctors and nurses would help. I then went through a 4 week outpatient treatment which also helped because knowing others are experiencing similar feelings helps. Finding therapeutic ways to help yourself become stronger and more able to fight off the anxiety really helped me. Mostly it has helped to know that depression and anxiety are not me. It is a disease of the brain and not my fault. I pray that you continue to seek medical help, treat yourself lovingly, find people in your life you can talk to and explain what happens when you feel super low and teach them how they can help you. I have told my loved ones to just hold me, not worry that it will pass and somehow that helps me because when I am so down, I feel guilty and worried that I am upsetting the people I love. I feel like I am not worthy of their love. I feel like the sadness and loss of reality will never end. With someone there holding me, holding my hand, I can let go and it calms me. You are loved, you are not alone. I pray that you can find some peace.