Ready to Give Up

I can't take another day! I've had severe anxiety for 8 months now. I had it like this three years ago, and it went away after three months. It won't leave this time!

I can't believe I made it another week at work. I had meetings all day yesterday and today and worked from 8 AM to 7 PM each of those days. I barely made it. I wanted to run from the meetings as sat there paralyzed with the most uncomfortable feelings in the world. I fake it and participate and smile.

The second I wake up in the mornings and my eyes open, I am paralyzed with fear and feelings of being unwell. I shake as I get in the shower and shake as I get dressed. Weak, sick, horrible. My head fills like it is full and heavy. My heart races. My insides shake. I will myself forward. A step, a step, a step at a time.

I smile at work. I get the chills. I can't eat. I fake it some more. I float through the day disconnected to reality.

WTF????

I eat right, have tried exercising, take vitamins, push myself to partake in life no matter how hard it is, I breath, I yell at my anxiety....and nothing helps. It won't go away.

I have to go to a funeral on Saturday, and I am sick with fear about it. You know the routine, right?

If someone asked me what this feels like, I would say it feels like I am dying...all of my organs are failing and I am spiraling down.

I can't talk to anyone. They are sick of me being sick. Even if I keep moving, they don't want to hear about how hard it is. So I keep it to myself and trudge on. I want to cry when they say they have anxiety too and that I just need to relax. Oh, I wish!

I'm successful, have a great family, have lots of blessings...but I don't enjoy anything at anytime because of how sick I am.

My doc put me on Prozac ten days ago after being on Citalopram for 6 years and stopping cold turkey for a month because I felt so bad (What's the point?). No difference so far with the meds.

I swear someday they will discover that these symptoms are caused by a lack of some mineral or something or caused by some non-deadly, but torturous malfunction in the body. Or I am just fucking crazy!

Thanks for listening. It has been such a horrible few days....and months.

Peace to everyone.

7 Replies

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  • Trust me I think I know exactly how you feel. I'm pretty sure I now have health anxiety & it's bad. My Physical symptoms are insane. I have chest pains almost daily shortness of breath horrible fatigue just basically a feeling of not feeling well but can't explain it even if I tried. Chest heaviness I have acid reflux & that really makes me feel worse. I have joint pain kinda like mini zaps they feel like & it's in my fingers hands legs. Sometime I get stomach pains. My vision is blurry at times weird tension headaches the list goes on & on. I'm so sick & tired of it all. I hope you are able to find some peace 🙏🏻

  • I'm so sorry! I feel the exact same way lately! If neither of those meds work maybe you just have to try another? Sometimes it takes a few before it's right but just remember how much it will be worth it in the end to find the right one! And it can't make you feel worse than to already do so you might as welll give it a go at a different one! I am so sorry, but we're all together in the same boat.

  • I'm so sorry that you are feeling so bad Wish there was something I could do but hope just knowing we all understand on here will bring a tiny bit of comfort

    I cannot believe it's 2016 there are amazing things happening breakthroughs in medical science,technology is unbelievable but yet we are all left to suffer with anxiety

    It's the worst feeling ever to be gripped by panic There isn't a tablet we can take that can make us feel calm and function all the ones I've ever had have had side effects and not made me feel the slightest bit relaxed

    No you are not crazy in your thinking

    I hope you are ok at the funeral yes know the routine very well

    I'm sorry I can't wave a wand and make you better my very best of wishes to you

  • Did you know that you can actually develop anxiety anxiety? Possibly (and I suggest this from personal experience) you might benefit from a ten minute meditation session each day, just to allow you to breath and get some control back. Also keep taking the Fluoxetine it will help in the long run. If you have twitter search #anxiety and you will find a lot of people who suffer like you and can be there to listen, it also helps as you can retain some anonymity. Finally anxiety is often a warning that something is wrong in your life, often it is something you do not wish to face, search yourself when you feel ready

    I wish you peace and love

    David

  • Hello Sunnyg

    I just wanted to reply with your not alone in this and although I understand the crazy feeling you are not I promise it's from the aniexty and exhaustion no doubt. I am truly sorry to hear how you feeling reading your post sounds just like me each day a different battle. But I agree with Davesoapbox to keep taking the fluxitine however if must come off its very important to tell you doctor and they can advice how to do that i.e. Wean off etc. Sounds like you body is also having withdrawals in it self must be Agony for you.

    Try to take one day at a time stop and sit down take a breather when you can. I know it's much easier said then done but if you practice this it can help at times.

    Take care and wishing you health and happiness

    Xx

  • Hang on there, there will be better times. ive been there.

  • Im like you, im just so fed up in struggling, i just hate it too when people say get on w it, relax just breathe, its not as easy as that. When i was on prozac i had a personality that i never had before both times i have been on them both times i went of the rails drinking nd going out lots. Im now on sertraline and i just feel im getting worse. Everyone says excercise is great but i have no motivation to do it. Ive been saying affirmations to myself daytime and night time it does eventually go in and it did help, going to try tyst again. Love n hugs to u.x

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