Hi there

My name is Mark and I'm a 21 year old male. I've been suffering anxiety for pretty much all my life.

However I find it's been getting worse and this year it has been the worst yet. I've been getting panic attacks, fears of death and even worse, derealisation. Not only am I feeling depressed but now I fear all this anxiety and depression will kill me. I constantly worry about getting a heart attack, seizure or getting hospitalised for whatever. I have no underlying medical condition but it still worries the heck out of me! I just came back from a holiday and I started having the worst of my anxiety and panic attacks when on the journey home. As for my derealisation, it's made me see the world around me not only unreal but also weird and unnatural (I know that sounds strange but that's what I feel). I also have thoughts on human society as a whole and it's made it worse.

I've seen my doctor plenty of times and he's suggested just to take medication (propranolol tablets) and they've helped me but I really want all these horrible thoughts to just go away so I can be myself. I feel like my days are numbered. I've seen a lot of people die this year and I fear I'll be next. Am I going crazy here? Is this the end of my life? Or am I able to get through this and be myself again? Thank you.


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5 Replies

  • Hi Marco...please don't worry...my wife has the same symptoms as you...connstantly thinking of death...not her own but anyone who dies...all the nasty things on the Tele..all haunt her....her psychiatrist has said she a sort of paranoir. ...started her on a trial course of olonzapine...it really helps...have a word with doc...they are pretty genned up on these things now...tell them everything...how affecting you in your everyday life....good luck & take care...x

  • Hi Mark

    So sorry you are struggling so badly from this. It is truly an awful way to feel - the constant random morbid thoughts/the severe anxiety and derealisation (which is perfectly natural when we suffer from anxiety conditions by the way.) What I can say is I too experience this and what Ive been told by professionals (therapist etc) anxiety however bad it is will not do ANY harm to you at all. NONE. Secondly if there has been losses in your life recently yes of course this is going to weave its way into your anxiety and cause so much fear of you "being next". Loss I guess reminds us all of mortality but most people (the ones who dont suffer anxiety) tend not to give it a second thought. I guess what Im saying is nothing you've said is in anyway strange weird or new for someone suffering with anxiety - they are all natural thoughts and feelings in a heightened state of fear. They WILL pass. Its hard to fathom right now I know but these thoughts and feelings do always pass. I promise you that. W

  • Thanks Will.

    Lately, I've also had tingling in my left arm as well as numbness. Which I'm worried could be a heart attack! I understand I'm considered too young to have one but it still worries me sick!

  • Hi Mark, I understand what you mean as this year I have been very anxious and I also fear death and overthink it quite a lot

  • Same issue here. You are not alone.All the best.

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