Hi everyone, I've been on here for about 3 months and I have to say I'm getting a little better but it's still so very very very hard. It seems like I have a fear of everything! A fear of being addicted to drugs, being a pediphole, getting killed, fear of me hurting someone, fear of dying, fear of catching a disease, fear of my mother dying. Basically fear of everything. I feel like I'm losing my mind and I can't control it. I feel like I'm the only one in the world who feels this way and I just feel alone and sad. I have intrusive thoughts that's so disgusting and horrible that I cry and one time it was so bad that I cut my wrist with a huge kitchen knife because I wanted to punish myself for having these thoughts. These thoughts that I will never act on these thoughts that I will never in my life think of. Every time I have these thoughts I just feel like throwing myself to a wall and banging my head on the wall until the thoughts go away. I seriously feel depressed and just not myself. I never in my life felt this way before until 3 months ago. It just came out of nowhere. I am going through counseling and I was on meds until they took me off because it made everything worse. But now I'm not on meds. But I was wondering if anyone else ever had this problem or felt this way? Please reply soon. Thanks loves for taking the time out to read this. I really appreciate it.
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