Intrusive thoughts and fear of almost ever... - Anxiety Support

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Intrusive thoughts and fear of almost everything.

AnxiousGal profile image
24 Replies

Hi everyone, I've been on here for about 3 months and I have to say I'm getting a little better but it's still so very very very hard. It seems like I have a fear of everything! A fear of being addicted to drugs, being a pediphole, getting killed, fear of me hurting someone, fear of dying, fear of catching a disease, fear of my mother dying. Basically fear of everything. I feel like I'm losing my mind and I can't control it. I feel like I'm the only one in the world who feels this way and I just feel alone and sad. I have intrusive thoughts that's so disgusting and horrible that I cry and one time it was so bad that I cut my wrist with a huge kitchen knife because I wanted to punish myself for having these thoughts. These thoughts that I will never act on these thoughts that I will never in my life think of. Every time I have these thoughts I just feel like throwing myself to a wall and banging my head on the wall until the thoughts go away. I seriously feel depressed and just not myself. I never in my life felt this way before until 3 months ago. It just came out of nowhere. I am going through counseling and I was on meds until they took me off because it made everything worse. But now I'm not on meds. But I was wondering if anyone else ever had this problem or felt this way? Please reply soon. Thanks loves for taking the time out to read this. I really appreciate it.

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AnxiousGal
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24 Replies
knowles8586 profile image
knowles8586

yes I feel like you and I drown it out by having a few drinks at night. I self loathe about my drinking, my weight, worry about my son and my 2 dogs. money almost anything.

they say distraction helps, if I take my dogs out it helps and swimming too. The nights are the worst when my demons haunt me

AnxiousGal profile image
AnxiousGal in reply to knowles8586

It's bad for me during the day. I just feel horrible.

Reenie profile image
Reenie

I am going through the same thing. I am getting intrusive thoughts about hurting someone very close to me, and I don't know Why! It sickens me and I feel like I am going crazy and that I should be locked up in a mental home. It is really making me depressed and anxious. Last night I cried like I've never cried before. I don't know what to do! X

AnxiousGal profile image
AnxiousGal in reply to Reenie

I know how you feel! I'm having horrible intrusive thoughts too but mines are so horrible and disgusting and I just feel like a horrible disgusting person thinking about. It was so bad that I tried to hack my hand off with a kitchen knife. It's bad. I looked online and it says OCD and I clicked on it and it brought up many example of OCD and I believe that both of us suffer from the obsessive thoughts one. These thoughts are unwanted and you will never act upon. One example is sexual thoughts of children, animals, or rape anything like that. That is an example of a obsessive thought that you do not want and never will act upon.

Deecey profile image
Deecey

Hi...Many people who have never suffered obsessive, unwanted thoughts don't understand how painful and debilitating they can be. It is most definately, in my opinion, one of the worst symptoms of anxiety. I, as you would really feel angry that I could think such a thing as had never in my life did such a thing or would act on any of them. Overcoming persistant, unwanted thoughts takes some time & patience. Dr. Claire Weekes says it best in her book, Hope and Help for Your Nerves on page 127, "You will never lose your obsession while you are trying so hard to do so. In fact, you yourself have established it by trying to push it out of your mind - in other words, by fighting it." I have learned this to be true myself, the more you want the thoughts gone, the more they persist. You must recognize they are only thoughts and thoughts in themselves pose no threat. What I feel helps is when they come in your mind, laugh out loud at such a thing, give yourself praise that you have such a vivid imagination. Writers of films who have made millions possess such a powerful mind and search there minds for such thoughts to enable them to write stories/scripts yet they make millions and put it down to there imagination/creativity....At times of acute anxiety the mind/brain is if you can view it an amazing thing...I've been a sufferer since I was very small and what always works for me is acceptance and then the symptoms/thoughts diminish....Distraction works, be nice to yourself, get yourself out in the sunshine, exercise does work...take care Dee

henige profile image
henige in reply to Deecey

spot on

Sfqueen profile image
Sfqueen in reply to Deecey

Did you ever think you were going to go crazy or scared you may act upon this thoughts ?

Deecey profile image
Deecey in reply to Sfqueen

Morning Sfqueen...with generalised anxiety when symptoms are really at their worst we do all have those thoughts that we'll go mad or crazy, lose it etc, but never ever have I ever thought that I would act upon intrusive thoughts, the sheer fact that you get so alarmed you can think such a thing really tells you, you would not. Take care, have a good day!

henige profile image
henige

unfortunately these are the feelings that you get when suffering from depression and anxiety. Sometimes these horrible feelings come over you in waves, then click off. They are so weird, they're frightening. It's a back and forth feeling.

The first call is always to your GP, then he can start the ball rolling re: getting medication and other help. Some GPs recommend exercise as a means of de-stressing (which may help) but when you feel down who wants to start exercising . (The brain does enough exercises for you when your in this state. It goes into overdrive)

Go to see the GP and see what they have in the surgery (leaflets etc) to help take you forward to a good place.

Most GPs have conflicting opinions re: mental issues. They should realise by now that every person is different and what works for one does not work for the other.

There is always a way to help you but finding it takes a bit of time. Good luck. You'll get there in the end.

Hi I'm new to this site....GP's dont have the time or the expertise to help all their patients with mental issues......but I have suffered and cared for people with mental issues. Depression and anxiety are thought processes that take you over and I found Eckhart Tolle (Youtube) videos to be quite a help in understanding that we make our own problems through our thoughts that we can stop and take control of. “The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.” Look it up, might help.....

ollann profile image
ollann

Hi there i worked in mental health for 17 years Your thoughts are all part and parcel of your mental state. Just remember they are onlt thoughts and thoughts can not hurt you.Ps i also suffer with anxiety and get bad thoughts at times x

ferretgal profile image
ferretgal

I to had intrusive thoughts after suffering with sleep deprived psychosis! The worst time of my life and nearly died!! I have always suffered with anxiety and low self esteem! I had cognitive behaviour therapy after the psychosis as my confidence levels were very low!! I have got better through talking to everyone about my mental state and taking on challenges I never thought I would achieve!! Anxiety doesn't just go away, you have to learn to control it and very importantly not let it control you!!!!! Determination,a sense of humour,support and a lust for life will get you through!!! Appreciate what you have,socialise often,be kind to yourself and don't panic!!!

AnxiousGal profile image
AnxiousGal

Thank you all for replying it means a lot to me. But how I feel about my thoughts just makes me depressed and disrupting to myself. I've read online somewhere that if you have these thoughts and you try to push them away and if you cry then you're in dineal about being a murderur or pediphile or anything else. But I've also looked online about OCD and I looked at the obsessive part and some of the thoughts they described on there is exactly what I've been suffering. The first time I went to my counselor she told me that I suffer from anxiety and obsess vie thoughts because all I thought of was death but I manage to get over that somehow. But now I have a new obsession that makes me sick to my stomach and literally starves myself for days because I had those thoughts, I was so depressed I couldn't even enjoy a BBQ with the family. At first for about 2 weeks the thoughts left but now they have returned and I just feel like I'm going nuts and I just want to stop the horrible disgusting reoccurring thoughts so much.

ferretgal profile image
ferretgal in reply to AnxiousGal

In the end I stopped the thoughts by ignoring them! If you give them any attention then they will stay with you and drive you mad! I had to keep saying to myself I am not a bad person and I don't want to think like this! Enough is enough!! Good luck and try not to focus too much on the anxiety side of yourself! You ate not a bad person,try not to convince yourself that you are!!

AnxiousGal profile image
AnxiousGal in reply to ferretgal

I've sadly convienced myself that I'm a bad person. I convienced myself that I am a disgusting person because I'm having these thoughts. I try to suppress the thoughts but I can't. It has such a hold on me that I've convienced myself that I'm a disgusting person. I wish I was strong enough to believe that I'm not a horrible disgusting person. But these thoughts has such a hold on me. I just can't shake them.

robbin1 profile image
robbin1 in reply to AnxiousGal

I don't think your a "disgusting person" and I was interested in yr account of yr trauma. It seems clear that you don't want these thoughts, so it's not something you need feel ashamed about. However, why are you having them is something you need to analyse. If you are still out there, get back to me when you have time and maybe (though I am no expert) we can work something out. Try not to let them engulf you or make you feel they are in control - but don't repress them either!

helpneeded profile image
helpneeded in reply to AnxiousGal

You cry because you are a sweet person like me and are so confused that a genuine person like yourself could have such thoughts enter. I have done a lot of research and the most important thing you can do is accept them and see them for what they are "An intrusive thought" I am still learning to accept thoughts but with time I don't see why it wont get better. Acceptance is the key to all walks in life I believe, just gotta be strong and know you can over come this.

Reenie profile image
Reenie

I think you may be right about the OCD, I will have to look it up when I am feeling strong enough. I hope you have been feeling better. X

AnxiousGal profile image
AnxiousGal in reply to Reenie

Yeah I looked it up and I saw the symptoms of all of what I'm experiencing. It's horrible. I think it would make you feel remotely happy if you look it up. Look up OCD and maybe that will give your answers because it gave me mine.

ferretgal profile image
ferretgal

Prozac helped me too!! That's very good for ocd! See your doctor! Don't suffer in silence!!

helpneeded profile image
helpneeded

Hey there,

I am 20 year old girl and want to say don't worry!! I can't believe I'm actually on this site seeking help because prior to just over 2 weeks ago I was a very happy person who had set a goal and was preparing for my license and everything! I had my life on track and then about two weeks ago when I went to book for my restricted test ( I know this sounds stupid) But I failed my eye sight test which was weird cause my eyes are absolutely fine and I freaked out! I started thinking "what's wrong with me'?? The next day- Wam! I was hit with an intrusive thought and because I was so scared and confused I resisted it with all force and made it worse to the point now where I am depressed, have insomnia and it is always on my mind. Usually I just wait for it and and think- "I wonder what else my mad mind is going to create to try to disgust, scare or disturb me. It seems as if this all started because I freaked out over some stupid eye sight test, I have always been stressed about my license and over the last few months my body has been really run down so I am not sure if it stems from that. Apart from that I have had no trauma though when I was a baby I did stop breathing a few times and went blue but I doubt that has anything to do with it. Anyways I have had anxiety before ( about 2 years ago) It did pass and it was not anywhere as intense and it was on a different subject. Just know that there's hope that itl pass because mine did and u have to have faith that it will. The mind must give up one day right!!

Take care x

salsagirl20 profile image
salsagirl20

I feel your pain. I'm in constant worry of everything, I have extreme health anxiety and we'll as GAD with worrying about everything else. It's so hard to control at times. When I have such physical symptoms it makes me worse and I think the worse that something must be wrong with me and it has effected my relationships so much. I avoid going out alot cause I'm scared of passing out cause of my dizziness getting so bad. It's such a vicious cycle, I hope you are doing better.

Jackaroo profile image
Jackaroo

My response to that is be active 25 hours a day. Are you working, if not get a job, after work do activities whether it be sport, going to the library, volunteer work, and job at Macdonald's anything. Just stay active to the point of going home, having dinner and falling asleep.

TriggerPoint profile image
TriggerPoint

Intrusive Thoughts ?* EVERYBODY Has Had Them At Some Time Or Another Even If They Don't Have An Anxiety Disorder. If They Say They Haven't They Lie. Everybody Gets Attacks Of "Intrusive Thoughts". Those Thoughts YOU Can't Believe Crossed Your Mind. The Ones You Would Never Tell Anyone You Had. EVERYTHING You Have Ever Experienced, Heard, & Seen Is "RECORDED" From The Very Day You Are Born. Your Mind Will "Recall". But YOUR Mind Will Put YOU In A Situational Thought. Why ? It's YOUR Mind. We Live In A World That's Good. But There Is The Flip Side Of That Coin Which Is Evil. Heck, You Watch Your Local News & You Are Filled With Horrific News Reports Of Murders, Abuses, Acts Of Insanity, & Much More. [ not counting scary movies, & stories that require your imagination to decipher situational conditions whether they be good or bad. ] Let's Say You're Out In A Public Place. You Didn't Sleep Well or/ You Are Having Some Anxiety Or Something Physical That Doesn't Feel Right. You Feel Kinda "Out Of Control" Because You Can't Just Make It Go Away. Then ? Here Comes An "Intrusive Thought". Fear Sets In Immediately. You're Like, "Where Did That Come From" ?* "How Could I Think Such A Thing" ?* Well ? "ALL THE ABOVE". If You Were Born In A Bubble World & Nobody Ever Told You, You Can Choke To Death On A Apple Seed ? It Would Never Cross Your Mind At All. The Fact That It Bothers You Is A Good Thing ! You Have A Conscious . I Hope This Helps In Some Way My Friend. Prayers For Ya~*

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