I just want to be myself again

Its 4 in the morning and I can't sleep. Every time I try to sleep my heart starts racing and I keep getting this weird overwhelming sensation like I'm falling or something. It's so hard to explain and very frustrating. The last couple of months have been the absolute worse! I have real bad anxiety attacks which often occurs when I finally do fall asleep. I have made several trips to the e.r. bc I swear I'm having a heart attack. I have had many test done, EKG, stress test, chest x-rays, cat scan and all have cone back fine. My doctor says that its just anxiety but I just can't wrap my head around "it's just anxiety". Every tingle, sensation or pain that I feel, I swear that something serious is wrong and that I'm dying. Everyday I live in fear that I'm gonna drop dead. I've convinced myself that I have all sorts of cancers. I stay awake googling symptoms of things and if I have even one symptom of anything, I start to panic. This is consuming my everyday life and I just want to be myself again .


Featured Content

Join our community

The community helps everyone affected by anxiety by providing support, information and guidance.


Featured by HealthUnlocked

9 Replies

  • Hi

    I can relate to you I suffer nearly all the same. Google should be banned. Every time i have pain which is 24/7 I google and convince myself I have cancer , convinced I have it now. The doctors keep telling me its all aniexty, but I steuggle to understand how aniexty could affect me! Keep strong and if you ever want to talk I'm here.

  • Hello and thank u for responding. It's 5 in the morning and I can't sleep. I too have pains ALL THE TIME so of course in my mind, something horrible is wrong. I've been told that anxiety can cause u to bring symptoms onto yourself, but again, I can't bring myself to believe that anxiety can do all this so I must have some fatal illness! Uggh this is a horrible thing to deal with. Recently I had to take 2 weeks sick leave from work bc I literally had a break down and could not function. Are u taking any medications?

  • Yes I'm on a low dosage of anti depressants called citalprom ( spelling could be wrong) I'm currently sat in the doctors waiting to see my doctor and hopefully make some progress with beating this today.

  • I take citalopram also. I've only been taking it for about a week so of course it hasn't kicked in yet. I find some sort of relief just seeing that I'm not alone and that I'm not going crazy! I hope your appointment goes well and good luck! If u don't mind can u keep me posted? I would love to know how it went and how you're doing.

  • Well the doctors told me what I was already ecpecting them to tell me. He has upped my tablets to 20mg now so hopefully I will start to see improvements soon.

  • I know the feeling of hopelessness so hang in there! I hope this upped dosage works for you.

  • I use to be on citalopram but I came of it after 4 months, I kept having hot sweats and shakes on it and didnt fell well at all. I am on no medication at the moment due to a year of doing so well but fell right this second I am losing it again due to my partner leaving me 2 weeks ago, not coping well at all :(

  • Sounds just like me! Sometimes I wish Google didn't exist! There are so many scary things in the world I can't enjoy any of the good things. I am a sweet caring lovable person but no one knows because I haven't been "me" in a long time. I really understand what you go through and it is difficult! Just last night woke up maybe an hour into sleep with heart racing 😥. I want to feel better but we all need to keep trying! Don't give up! I am here for you!!! -hugs-

  • OMG you sound just like me! I stay up googling everything and that's the worse thing to do. Last night I had a twitch in my foot and everything pointed to ALS!! ugh. my dr always says anxiety too. Right now it feels like my insides are shaking because I always feel like something is seriously wrong. Not to mention the constant pressure in my head. This is a horrible way to live. I hope you find relief!

You may also like...