I've been addicted to Solpadeine plus (500mg paracetamol, 8mg codeine and 30mg caffeine) for the last 3 years, I've been taking them every day, I'm now taking up to 12 tablets per day, 6 doses of 2 tablets, and the recommended dose is a maximum of 8 tablets (4 doses) per day and they are not to be taken for longer than 1 week, so I'm way past that limit.
I know there are people out there that take these tablets and probably take way more than me, there's also more serious addictions like heroin and other hard drugs, so whenever I tell people about my addiction they just laugh at me, like it's not serious, so I suppose I never took it seriously. Even when I went to see a drug rehabilitation therapist, she was a bit shocked when I told her what I take and how often, I was made to feel like a stupid child, so from that I only went to 2 appointments then gave it up as I felt I was not bad enough to be there and they didn't take me seriously.
I've tried stopping these things so many times, I've lost count, but it has never worked and I keep getting sucked back into taking them. I've become reliant on them, if I don't take them throughout the day my energy level and mood goes south for the winter, I can't be bothered to move and I become snappy and moody with others, but after taking these tablets I'm fine again.
I've been diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression, I take 100mg sertraline, the antidepressants to help, only been on them for 3 months but I can tell a big difference in my general mood after starting these tablets. I made a promise to myself that if I could get antidepressants, I'd stop the codeine, as I started taking them in a stupid attempt to help my anxiety and make me feel better, it was stupid and it has gone way too far, they no longer help me, only make me feel worse.
I rarely go out of the house because of lack of energy and social anxiety, I would love to have a job, but instead I claim ESA benefits, I just hate my life and all I do is sit at home, playing Xbox and collecting dust basically, I feel useless. I smoke too, since I do nothing with my life, I have nothing better to do, so smoking and taking codeine is basically my daily routine, I can't get out of it until I have something to live for, something more important that what I think is important at the moment.
My mood has plummeted lately since I was always fighting with my boyfriend, we were in a long distance relationship and I barely got to see him, he was very possessive and controlling and would never let me have friends, it really got to me and he'd accuse me of cheating on me whenever I spoke to any other guy. I still love him and I was always faithful to him, but his behaviour drove me crazy and I do feel a little better without him, there's no drama and I can focus on myself, but I do miss him and his company, besides blaming me for everything he was actually the only good friend I had, so now I have nobody to talk to, since I don't leave the house, I have no real life friends to talk to, besides my Mum, how sad is that?
So yeah I'm in a bit of a pickle at the moment, life seems to suck, I really want to turn my life around but I just don't know how to do it or where to start. Does anybody have any advice, personal experiences etc? I need a bit of inspiration on how to cope and fix things.