Anxiety and panic attacks for 3, going on 4, weeks. Intrusive thoughts and guilt. Help?

[Apples0127]

My name is Sabrina, im 17 years old and Ive been suffering from depression for about 4 years, Ive been on and off medication about 3 times, and i just started Lexapro because of my anxiety. Its been crippling and there have been days when I simply cant get out of bed and I stay in my pajamas and sometimes wont even shower. My thoughts have been mainly circling well-being, or the lack thereof, of myself and anyone I love. I constantly worry about my anxiety, which gives me anxiety, and sometimes i question existence and my own sanity a bit. I know these are only intrusive thoughts but they bring me anxiety. Ive also lost complete appetite and can barely bring myself to eat even my favorite foods. Ive switched to drinking a shake called Almased, and I started on vitamins a few days ago. I havent been seeing my therapist due to insurance issues and paying for a session can be really expensive. Sorry for such a long question but i figured it would be best to mention everything at first so yeah, any suggestions or help would be amazing, and please only helpful replies.

[ilsonbunny]

Oh my poor love. You are so young to be having such a rough time . Can I assume you Dont live in the UK where we have the luxury of free medical treatment including therapists . I am 63 today and looking back on my life of Anxiety I have wasted so much of it. I now have 3 wonderful children and 4 fantastic grandkids which are my motivation for living. You grab control of your life back from the Demon we call Anxiety and Panic. Its us who created these thoughts and only us who can rid our mind of them . You do have the inner strength to overcome your depression and anxiety. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life. Time to start living Honed luck and keep us posted on your progress. X

[Apples0127 in reply to ilsonbunny]

Im from the US, so just about nothing is free. Thank you for the support I appreciate it greatly. Do you have any tips for me that maybe you used to help you overcome the anxiety?

[Barb07]

I suffered since my teens.I am now 43 it was a hormonal imbalance all the time.Blood results came back normal.I had pcos.Recently had hysterectomy and ovariers removed.I have had my family

Paraoxtine anti depressant helped control it until I had my family.Then I needed further help

You are not going mad.I bet you are highly sensitive to certain hormones.Take care

there is help out there

it is awful to live with this.I hope you get sorted soonxxx

[Apples0127 in reply to Barb07]

Oh my goodness! I have PCOS too. Im taking birth control for it. Could this be whats causing my anxiety?

[Barb07 in reply to Barb07]

I believe it is all hormonal related did u feel like this before 11/12 I bet u say no.I know that whe ur stressed your anxiety rises.Do you have a acne or anything.When I was 18 used to argue with GP that I wasn't depressed but extremley anxious and anxiety attacks were making me depressed.Google Reproductive Depression and read article by John Studd hope this helps you.Much love Barbaraxxx

[willowroad]

When did you start the lexapro and what dose? I've just been on a merry go round of different ssri's. Most I had to discontinue within a week because they were making me very anxious to the point where I could not get anything done because I was anxious at the sound of a noise outside or the prospect of going out of the house. It is major depression and anxiety in my case. I have worked at universities for about 15 years and regularly lectured to 50 or 60 students week in week out with no problem really. What you have and what I have is an illness. Many Therapists and writers would suggest face you fears and meet them head on as once exposed to them your fear of them will gradually reduce as you become desensitized to them. But sometimes we aren't in the right place to do that and even mindfulness practice (counting your breath in and out of your nose) can\t be done because the thoughts you have are too intruding. I would say be kind to yourself (i know it is difficult) and learn to give yourself permission to be ill for a bit. Also realise that medication can significantly increase anxiety and lethargy at the same time. You may need a lower dose to start with so your body gets used to it. I'm 49 now and was 19 when I went on medication. Generally my life has been brilliant despite periods of depression like now. There is a thing called acceptance and commitment therapy which some Australian university has a podcast about which is a mixture of cbt and mindfulness. It is a new form of therapy which i think is really good but once again if you aren't up to it at the moment that's fine. Wishing you lots of luck.

[Apples0127 in reply to willowroad]

Hi, thanks for your reply. I started it July 2 at 10mg. My psychiatrist told me to have 10mg for two weeks and then increase it to 20mg after that. Lexapro has worked best for me, ive tried Prozac and Zoloft but their side effects were bad and didnt work too well. Ive been slowly trying to expose myself to my fears and Ive recognized that theyre only fears and thoughts and wont become reality which has helped me get through anxious moments. The lexapro didnt take effect until about two days ago and its helping a lot with the constant anxiety i was in. As long as I keep busy I feel fine but if I start thinking I get a little anxious. Im hoping to feel better later on so i can feel comfortable facing my fears but for now i prefer not to.