Update on my first visit with a therapist today

I saw a therapist for the first time this morning to deal with this constant suffocation feeling that has been going on 24/7 for the past 14 weeks now. No relief from it other than if I take Ativan at night to get sleep. Sometimes my head is in the fog with it and sometimes chest tightening. Last night I decided not to use a sleep aid as I felt yesterday was a pretty decent day (alot less of the suffocation feeling) and thought I might get a fairly decent sleep. Wrong! I was up all night. You know, I actually had myself convinced the suffocation feeling was going away yesterday but today it was back full force again.

Anyhow we went through my past history. Never suffered anxiety in my life until now. Things that went on in the past when growing up, during my first marriage, being a single mother and marrying for a second time, I was always able to manage on my own or get through it ok. There are things going on now that have been bothering me but I figured I could handle that also. I guess I was wrong. Perhaps everything just manifested through the years and came out into one huge anxiety attack that I can't seem to turn around on my own. The therapist said to me I had a lot on my plate and no wonder I had anxiety.

I told her I was willing to go on a med if that's what it took to turn this suffocation, head in fog, insomnia around. That along with counselling. I'm also hoping this will be short term. Obviously for this to carry on for 14 weeks straight, I cannot make this go away on my own no matter what I do and I need the big guns now. My brain is really messed up. Unfortunately the doctor at the psychiatric center won't be able to see me until the 23rd as he is that booked up.

When waiting in the waiting room, a young girl came in with paperwork in hand like the paperwork I also had. I overheard her tell the receptionist that she was so tired and she hadn't slept all night. Welcome to the club!

I'm even so tired now I can't see straight yet when I lie down to try and have a nap, sleep will not come to me. I'm really fed up. Thanks for letting me vent.

7 Replies

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  • Hey there

    Anxiety is horrid isn't it!!

    Well done for coping on your own for this long.......... that deserves a medal!! And well done for asking for help, its not always easy!!

    I hope things improve soon for you!!

    Luv Ker xx

  • HI Idaw x Well done on getting through your first therapy session, I found the first to be very much explaining and getting t know what was going to be done x I have,nt suffered from the anxiety symptoms you mention with the fog and such but anxiety has so many offshoots to it x I find that anxiety can build sometimes and bubble away without you even releasing x and then one day bam you just know you have it Sometimes we just know that we have to have help in the form of meds to help combat these feelings x This is great as it really will help you feel less anxious and be able to see the battle you face x Hope you feel better soon x Donver xx

  • Thank you to both of you. I just wish I had known weeks and weeks ago that what was going on was from anxiety so that I could have sought help alot sooner. Where I live in the US, we have a shortage of pulmonologists so it was weeks of waiting to see one and then weeks to get various tests done. The therapists are quite busy around here as well so waiting weeks to see one. I have to wait another 17 days to see that doctor now for a med.

    Why this suffocation feeling constantly? I think I could handle it better if I just had to deal with the head in a fog and even the insomnia part. At least there is stuff for insomnia that helps with sleeping.

    I get out and do things but I just don't enjoy myself. I just wonder what I did to deserve this. Sorry, I'm just really venting away. So mad about it all. Thank you again. Margaret

  • Your welcome, you must not blame yourself, its hard to know that it is anxiety at times as the feelings are so real and frightening. So its a case of going around in circles with doctors until you rule out things and come to anxiety. I can understand that the health professionals you need to see are busy and have long waiting lists, its the same here in the u,k. When you initially begin the anxiety battle its hard to think of anything but that, and what you tend to find is that by thinking of it you are adding fuel so it will burn for longer if you understand what I'm saying. The more and more you think of anxiety, the more it bothers you, and when you have brief moments of simply forgetting it vanishes, its really a matter of therapy helping you to forget and have longer periods of time where you feel normal. You may also note that with anxiety can come depression, so it becomes easy to feel like you cannot enjoy life. You did nothing at all to deserve it, its one of life's things that sometimes get thrown at people for no reason x Vent away it is a help x Donver x

  • I really appreciate the information you have given me here. I have gained a better understanding. The therapist asked me if I worked and I told her I didn't. Then she asked me if I would like to and I told her most certainly - work along with volunteering but as long as I had this suffocating feeling, head in fog, chest tightening at times and insomnia, going to work now just wasn't going to work out right now. Thank you again.

  • NO Problem happy to help x x It can be hard to focus on other things when we are so preoccupied with the anxiety but in time it will get easier x

  • I will try to stay positive. I know many people are against taking benzos like Ativan and Xanax but to heck with it, I need sleep and am going to take an Ativan each night or perhaps every other night so I can get sleep until I see the doctor at the psychiatric center.

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