Update on the situ with my Son

Well after a terrible week of anxiety and waiting to see if my son will talk to me, he text yesterday to say he will listen to what I have to say but has laid down some ground rules............

Its been a difficult situ for the last two years and he has not spoke to me for one; Its a long complicated story and I wont bore you all, but after the split of my partner many years ago, I guess I was so wrapped up in my own hurt that I felt justified, I've made mistakes I know, but my son has suffered with two warring parents..... Our stories will never match up and I now know this is not about me, its about my sons pain and making amends..........

So I'm preying with all my heart that I can say the right things and we can begin a new relationship......

Wish me luck

Love to everyone xx

16 Replies

  • Hello Anne64,

    My thoughts are with you! Good luck

    Carrie x

  • I am a mum and I know it is difficult. We all make mistakes, parents and children but as long as he knows that you still love him things will be ok. I hate arguments but sometimes it is inevitable. I will be thinking of you, take care

  • thanks to both of you................ Its a difficult time but I hope things will start to get better xx

  • Hi anne, hope things work out ok with your son, good luck :)

    Mimii xx

  • thank you....... I do too xx

  • Anne how old is your son , I can relate to you . My marriage failed I

    Moved out and now my kids hate me , I don't see them and it hurts like hell.ive been with my new partner for a year and life without the kids does not get easier , sometimes I fall to pieces . I hope things get better for you . My kids are 10 and 12 x

  • Hiya HUn..... Im so sorry you are going through this too!! My son is nearly 25... I guess Im lucky then that I managed to maintain a 'normalish' life seeing my son, although it wasn't easy..... its been very difficult for the last 2 years and a year since he told me to f-off out of his life........... he has agreed to listen to what I say but it could all go pete tong!! Are you getting any support love?? I know how hard it is believe me...... pm me if you want to chat and some support??

    Ker x

  • That's good of you to offer to pm me I'm on my phone with this at the moment it's all so new to me this site . I'm not getting no support I'm waiting for councilling which will be several weeks . Your son is a lot older then I guess if it does go Pete tong at least you can say uve tried . Life is so unfair at times and it hits me when I'm negative xx

  • Yes its very very hard at times............... No prob and no pressure........ I just understand your pain so if I can help I will.............. xx

  • Well anne

    This sounds like good news ,there could be a small breakthrough here :)

    Dont no what his terms are but as long as they are acceptable , thats ok

    If it were me , I wouldnt try to push to much of how it was with his Dad , not for a while , I would concentrate on how much I miss him & would like to be part of his life

    He may want to take it slowly to start with & let him go at his own pace & the relationship will build back up , but it has to be slow

    I no with my girls , it was years of asking how their Dad was through greeted teeth , that won them over , as they wouldnt have took kindly if I had sat blaming him , yet now they have heard more over the years how he was & they no he was no angel , but it takes time

    Take this slow , I always said you would get your son back & i hope its this time , I have everything crossed for you , let me no when I can un cross everything wont you :-/




  • Ah whywhy youre my little guiding shining star..............

    The terms are to not talk about the past with his dad, no more lies, hes a man so to treat him like one, and to not pity myself........

    Hes angry with me and I totally understand that, Ive made mistakes and ive been selfish in my own pain, this is now not about my pain, but about mys sons and getting him back in my life.....

    I totally get that now, Im hopeing I can say the right things n I know he may throw some crap at me, and Ill take it... Im just gona say Im sorry for all the pain you've been thorugh, ive made mistakes and I should have been the adult, I think his conditions are acceptable and Im just gona tell him how much I love him, have missed him and want him in my life, but will ask how he would like to take it forward??

    What you think??

    Im hoping and preying that we can start to re-build our relationship but I know its not gona be easy esp as my anxiety is off the scale which makes me irrationsl!!

    Hope you and youre family are good hun?? xx

  • ps... the no more lies is a tricky one , cos Ive never lied.... but obv my story differs to his dads so I have to refrain from getting into any question and answer sit.......xx

  • Yes anne , for now , refrain as much as you can about his Dad , but you may have to answer some & you can tell the truth , but for example , if they cheated on you 12 times , say cant quite remember could have been 6 , if you get my drift , the truth , but slightly tamed ;) for now ,dont no if I have explained that right

    Maybe say , we will take this at your own pace , I no you have been injured & I want to make amends ,that you are comfortable with

    Yes you no doubt will get crap , bite your tongue , take it , the crap will be the little boy in him letting all his anger out , so try seeing him as that little boy sat there & not the adult he looks , he needs to let it all go & that will help , & once he has , then you dont have to have it said again , thats it then its been said & you both let it go & start a new :)

    You can do this , is it happening soon ?


  • Well unfortunately cos hes in London and Im up north it will a phone call............. don't really know, he just said on sat , Ill give you a couple of days to think what you want to say to me and I'll speak to you next week, so waiting for the call!! xx

  • That must be tension for you , I am sure he will phone , let us no when he does , will be thinking about you :)


  • whywhy you will be the first person that I tell should I have good news!! thank you............xx

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