3 hours untill i start traveling to university city. I'm scared

[Against_the_current]

I'm scared whether i'm making a mistake and whether something happens because i'm gone. And i'm thinking whether it would have been better to stay home, rest, be with my sister.

My plans are ruined and my roommates have these People i don't like there. And i both don't like them and am scared If they split the increased bills from their guests with me. Why are they making a shelther? I can't afford materially and mentally to look after their guests so they don't break something or make a mess or cause troubles being loud as hell. I'm thinking of dropping everything and not going but my parents already think i will go. Why am i so scared?

I feel like i don't have a reason to go there - just a party, i won't even volunteer this week. And Byzantine Easter is this Sunday so mom's picking me anyway for the weekend but i have a therapist appointment for the week after Easter so i can't go back with them. It would have been nice If it was this week, i would have a reason to go. After Easter i don't know where i will go back to. I feel like If i leave home rn i won't be able to go back because something bad will happen while i'm gone. And i'm agoraphobic from the new city and traveling.

I'm probably annoying with this. I'm just really struggling over traveling and where to be.

[TrustYourSoul]

Well.....You need to be somewhere, so just make a decision. So much anxiety is driven by being indecisive. Once you have written down the Pro's and Con's about any situation, you are able to shed your anxiety by just owning your life, and making decisions. If you always "fear" things that haven't happened, you would never be able to make decisions, learn, and improve.

What would you do if you weren't afraid?

[Against_the_current in reply to TrustYourSoul]

Yeah, i'm being indesisive and fearful and that's causing me the stress. I can't even imagine If i wasn't afraid 🤔

[Hidden]

Hey there! You'll be fine. You fear the unknown. Remember: Norw, the only enemy you have is you. Real_Me, the only enemy you have is you. Go say that to a mirror. Then go say that to whatever you want. Heck, there's a tree outside my hotel window that knows I'm my only enemy. The food I'm eating knows it too.

Just yesterday I had to just make a decision for my sanity's sake. Long story short, hubby and I are currently on opposite sides of the Atlantic Ocean. He was supposed to join me for our vacation with family, but unfortunately his pre-departure covid test came back positive. He is stuck at home and is as bored as heck (I mean, yesterday's highlight was watching someone and their dog from the window). Since I am worried about him, I was going to halt my vacation and fly home straight away. But then I started getting flustered and would think of the what-ifs. I went back and forth so much that I finally said "that's it! I'm just going to make a decision". Is it the right decision? No idea. But I'm not going to think about it. Instead, I'm going to pat myself on the back for making a decision instead of driving myself even more crazy.

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

Yeah, you're so right. I have to make a desision and i can't know whether it's right but i have to stop Overthinking it. And i'm my own enemy. Myself. It's just me. You had the same situation thinking where to be and what to do like me. And eventually once the desision is made, it gets easier. Hope you're okay and hubby too, i'm a person who's mostly staying at home but i realize not everyone's usual lifestile's qarantine (like that introvert meme "turned out my normal lifestile's called qarantine") and i hope he recover soon and finds funny stuff like movies and books. Also something that i discovered yesterday is decorating home helps

[Hidden in reply to Against_the_current]

Thanks. His symptoms are thankfully mild. I'm glad you discovered a hobby; that's great! There's an app called "Home Design" (I think that's the name) that you might enjoy. It's interior decorating. How'd everything go with your decision?

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

Thanks, for now it's good. I arrived, my roommates are weird and having guests but i'm not interracting much. Now trying to find something to eat and getting some home alone time while they're on an excursion

[Hidden in reply to Against_the_current]

Great! Glad you've arrived safely and in one piece (I mean, you're still in one piece, right?)If it makes you feel any better, the people on my floor are weird too. But then again, they probably think the same about me.

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

Thanks, yeah i'm whole for now. Probably all the people are like this and i shouldn't worry about it

[Hidden in reply to Against_the_current]

Oh, thank goodness!😅

[Against_the_current]

Thanks. It is exactly like that. Fear