Starting school. Starting university. Autumn depression. It's coming. I'm scared

[Against_the_current]

Giving my friend time. Rn distancing all communication. I'm starting to feel autumn depression and i'm worried this week, on 15th sep, sis starts school. And i'm worried about her. And i have to be strong, give her courage, but i'm scared myself. Maybe it's best distant communication with her too do i don't infect her with my anxiety. My therapist said I shouldn't show anxiety in front of my sister. I even stay in my room when my roommates are here. I have no energy and nerves to deal with people. And i probably should focus on myself too because university and internship are starting too later this month and it's my last year and i should focus and my hands are seeaty even writing this.

I'm so scared for my sister.

University, autumn depression, work, sis... I'm thinking how to prepare myself. I get really bad seasonal depression. It's starting to get cold, wondering whether to freeze my gym card to not get a cold and tired but thinking how maybe i need sport but i need to see my schedule... Thinking about buying Bach flowers remedies for anxiety, depression and mental stability or intrusive thoughts or sensetivity or bad thoughts but they're expensive.

Anyone having experience with Bach remedies? To me they're working, might be placebo, but just the expensive ones are working.

[compasnet]

A t c, I used five flower remedy and it helped me a lot, although niw I do slow deep breathing, muscle tension relaxation, and visualization/mindfulness and it REALLY helps. I think it's really great that you're so caring and concerned about Sis. I've hated Fall, the wet from from the rain fallrn leaves everywhere in September and October for a long time because it triggered my anxiety about and school and the people aat school.. I hate sweaty palms because I feel embarrassed, especially if I have to shake someone's hand but it's gotten a lot better. 🙏. Thanks for sharing. Have a grand day. 🙏

[Against_the_current in reply to compasnet]

Thank you for sharing. Feels less alone and scary. I feel so embarassed when someone handshakes me and says "ew, your hands are swaety" even happens yo my tests and notes at school, same with sis. I'm trying to breathe deeply and tell myself im a good person and sister. I also do meditations, pmr, deep breathing and it helps.

[compasnet in reply to Against_the_current]

OMG, I can't believe it, LOL. ( to be honest, it's more like 😭). Oh God, the soaking wet paper I need to hand in, yukkk to the point where the ink is smearing and I'm literally hanging up the sheet of paper to dry. I never thought anyone experienced this except me. 😭😭😭😭😭. Anyhow, what breathing and meditation techniques do you use? Would you be willing to share thrm if they work?

[Against_the_current in reply to compasnet]

So it's not only me. I even handshaked my country's president and he said "yuk, where have you been" 😭. I do box breathing or even without counting, as it feels comfortable. Breathe in through the nose, hold, breathe out through the mouth as If bloeing in a straw. I like mindfulness meditations like The Honest guys on YouTube. I will share another meditation that also works for me youtu.be/Fpiw2hH-dlc(Not working as expected?)

[compasnet in reply to Against_the_current]

Wow! Seriously, the president OMG...that's terrible. I'm SO sorry. Hey I really appreciate the mindfulness exercise. Actually I use a different one where you imagine various colors that are vivid and various floating shapes, etc. ...would be glad to share it with you. Anyhow I tried yours today and it's really relaxing and inspiring to keep going. Thank you so much! truly 🙏

[Against_the_current in reply to compasnet]

You're welcome. And on the bright side i saw the president 😅. Knowing most people want to Shoot him, just a sweaty hand isn't something to die of 😂. And the vice president didn't complain, she's really cool. It's just a funny story of anxiety. So you like visualisations and imaginaries i guess

[Chopper21]

i’m sorry you’re feeling a lot of anxiety. I have that experience too and it’s awful. I’m wondering though why your therapist is telling you not to show your anxiety in front of your sister. In my mind if someone told me to not show anxiety that would add so much more pressure to me that I would be much more anxious. Do you have any place where are you can call your own that you can go to to get some space from everybody? I find that when I’m around people for a very long time they drained me and I just need to be alone. I’ve also been using mindfulness to help with the anxiety. I think underneath the anxiety you’re telling yourself something that’s making it worse. But I’m not a therapist. I’m not sure what’s going on with your sister that you’re worried about her it didn’t seem clear in your text. If you feel up to responding that would be fine if not then I understand too I wish you all the best.

[Against_the_current in reply to Chopper21]

You're right. There's a lot going on with my family and me and in my head. And my therapist said my sister shouldn't see me anxious because she would be alarmed. To me is that she's annoyed, uncomfortable and sees me as inadequate and panicy. It's adding a lot of pressure to hide it.