In therapy ( I’ve been going off and on since I was 15) I have learned that sometimes we disassociate and act in a way that is because of our inner child’s pain and PTSD. I’ve been feeling hurt and very sensitive lately and trying to heal. I’m happy that I have been working hard at my mental health and have learned so that the abuse doesn’t go on to affect my children. They deserve the best so that’s why I’ve kept working and I hope I am a good enough mom...
...I always knew I was a good mom from the beginning becsuse I loved and cared and put my best efforts toward raising them but lately feel like I’m not a worthy person with all the past abuse and mistakes making their way to the surface for me to face.
It must be time to deal with them and more healing. I hope my therapist can help me with it because i am getting triggered a lot and not sure how to work through all of these strong emotions.
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Hey darling how are you, remember these times are not normal, and there’s more triggers than in normal tines [whats normal lol ] you have tackled things head on all of your life, so stand up and be proud, You are worthy, you are a fantastic mum, and a lovely person, you have helped me soooooo much, I have never met you yet I love you! 💓❤️ Sister xxxx
I love you ❤️ thank you so 🙏 I’m sitting having bursts of cries. I’m so done. I don’t want to wake up again and have another day filled with emotional pain.
And I don’t know how I held up during the school year. Things are easier now in ways but here I am not knowing how I survived and how I will keep going without having a breakdown. I guess you are right in that these are hard times.
I've been doing a lot of inner child work. I'm in two forms of therapy. It's hard to go back and revisit the pain. But I've found that with facing it I'm getting stronger. I've made huge progress.
There are inner child meditations you can try. Kenneth Soares has one that I like. I just keep listening to it over and over. He also has quite a few on letting go of the past. Trying to cut the ties to all the burdens we have carried.
I'm sure you are a great mom. You are aware of the pain and the problems. I think that gives you the strength to be a good parent. You know that you don't want to repeat history.
Continue your work with your therapist. It won't happen overnight but you will make progress.
IFS... it's also called parts therapy. Goggle it. It's very hard to explain but you take an emotion or feeling. Bring it back as far as you can in the past. Talk about what it physically feels like in the body. Why did it start.
Example of mine... anxiety, I feel it in my stomach, looks and feels like a tornado rolling around, when did I first feel it, first grade ( sad) what was the situation. What did I need at the time to feel safe.
What did it do for me at the time. Can I let some of it go. Then you work through that part.
Hope that makes some sense. It has really made a difference in my progress.
This is a really hard process, opening up old wounds and revisiting the past, I can tell you it's going to be painful and draining but it's a necessary step and you're a strong woman 🌻
(((((((((Callmedanielle)))))))))) thank you ... I’ve visited the past before in therapy and I have the feeling it could be time for more work and healing...I don’t want to push it too hard as I want to be able to handle it... I’ll take it slow. How are you doing?
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