I had a dream that made me reflect on my life and I feel like maybe I haven’t completely lived the way I wish I had in ways and I thought I’ve always tried my best but well I hope I have. It’s hard to see clearly. Just how far can one push oneself before they break? I feel like the littlest things are difficult for me. It’s sooooo frustrating!!! I can’t be specific when I write about what all I’m failing at because it’s embarrassing, painful.
I haven’t been able to make my dreams come true. And the truth hurts me now. And I don’t believe I will ever have the life I want unless I change what I aim for. Maybe certain things just aren’t for me to be blessed with. Maybe I should focus on the blessings I DO have. Lately I’ve been depressed more than normally. I feel I’ve given up in ways. Although I still have dreams, easier ones now, to accomplish, my motivation gets suffocated by depression ptsd and anxiety ocd and bipolar.
I guess all I can do is keep trying to believe I can succeed; to climb up and reach a place I dream of and can feel proud of , I rarely feel proud of anything I do.
I hope to heal and believe in myself. Thanks for listening. Ive been holding so much in lately.
Blessings to all and may you have many moments of joy and peace.
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That's my biggest fear, that my dreams will remain what they are,just dreams. And that I won't accomplish any of them. You shouldn't give up, there's no timeline here, no age,no hurry just start somewhere make a list and write the steps that are necessary to make them come true. If we can get out of bed and make it through each day with our illnesses, what the hell can't we do!!!!
Do the steps leading to your dreams ever seem too many or too much at this time? I pray that God helps me see. I’m so overwhelmed with what I have on my plate right now that I can’t really see the dreams coming to be.
I have big humongous ones lol so it is overwhelming and my GAD and depression makes them seem unreachable but I always feel like it would be worse if years from now I wouldn't be able to say I gave my best I worked my butt off, failure or not I'm going to try. Take real tiny steps you'll feel so proud
That’s great that yours goals you strive for are humongous !Trying yes you are so right, that’s important. To give your all and at least no matter what, you’ve really tried. I’ve tried and with one large goal so far I’ve failed. I feel like the things I need to work on are scattered around in my life like it’s hard to focus on some things because there’s so much going on... maybe I’ll figure it out in time.
I can so relate to how you feel. I don’t know your situation but I also deal daily with the fear that I know I can do more and be a better person but at the same time I’m afraid of what I might be confronted with and how to cope with it without totally panicking and looking like a fool in public. I have a severe social anxiety disorder that causes major depression and panic attacks. My only advice is to do what you need to do when you are the most focused on your tasks and not spend any time in an uncomfortable situation. If you feel overwhelmed, leave! Come back later. If you find yourself in a situation where you can not leave just do what comes naturally and those that help, you can call friends and feel blessed to have them.
Oh I hear you. I’m sorry you suffer with social anxiety. I have social anxiety too and relate to fearing I won’t cope in situations...
Do you use deep breathing? I find it can really help. I used to have panic attacks a lot but now that that’s under control there’s some other stuff,... there’s always something to work on.
Thank you, you’ve helped me see that I am overwhelming myself with this thinking I’m doing. I need to step back for now,... it’s just too much.
I’ll try to be good to myself. Thanks I didn’t realize I was being hard on myself, but yeah you’re right. You are amazing too! ❤️
I know how you must feel, I was retired in 1988 because of disability and now at sixty nine I now wonder if I could have done any better, Most of my activities have been on various think tanks and organisations in the NHS so in a way I feel in some ways I have done quite well doing things I have enjoyed. Granted because of my memory I stopped and came out of those positions however, we can look back and feel we have done things that have been positive in society.
The same applies with you, consider what you have done, not the other way around. Life is more to do with life in general. Remember life in the near past was what it was not in the 1950s. Consider other things you have done at home your private life,
How you treat people or give support, that is one of the main things in life, be confident and move on.
True thank you soooooo much BOB you seriously lifted my spirits and I very much appreciate you.
I am considering what I’ve done like you do. Looks much better in that light. I’m trying to focus on positives when it comes to past and present accomplishments. When I wrote this post I was very depressed. Morning came and it feels a bit brighter.
I wonder this as well!!& also how to understand God and not feel completely confused sometimes and at peace about God!! My brain doesn’t seem to want to grasp or accept certain things about him sometimes I just feel it’s all too much!!! How do you feel close to God when your brain & emotions seem to get in your way???😂😖😳😱
Yup it’s hard to know what to believe and it can be too much I agree. I think for me I keep asking for guidance and that along with trying my best to do what I think is His will. I talk to Him as if He is a friend standing next to me. I tell him what my worries are and ask for help, understanding and wisdom. And I think there are other days that things move so quickly and I am in such a bad place that I forget to connect with Him. But I believe He is everywhere and when we make good choices it’s like worship. Well I wish I felt like I used to... I used to be connected and felt I knew what I should be doing ... now I fear He might not be happy with me.
Thank you for your reply that’s soo beautiful and you sound like such a lovely person with a great 💕❣️ - how could God be mad at that😳😱???💐how - I mean I’ve learned something I’ll never forget about the meaning of God or what his name means and it’s literally Love- so if that’s the case than if God looks down from heaven or where he resides and sees a small imperfect human trying and caring and doing their best to show love despite all their problems, issues& all then how in world could he ever be mad with them???🤔Right? I mean that would seem so unjustly fair??
You are amazing. Thanks for your thoughtfulness. That’s a good point. I sometimes feel that if I’m so bad off that it must mean I’m doing wrong to deserve it but maybe that actually doesn’t make sense. There are many beautiful people who suffer. I often wonder why He isn’t helping me, or if He is then why can’t I live with peace and happiness? I’m actually really depressed right now and I keep calling on God to give me hope. I wish to receive a sign that there is hope. I’m so tired of suffering. I just want it to end.
i understand and sincerely don't want you to feel pressure.
A closing thought (not my words)
"For I well know the thoughts that I am thinking toward you,’ declares Jehovah, ‘thoughts of peace, and not of calamity, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11
I’m sorry (((((((hurtingheart))))))) what are your days like? I just woke up, was sick yesterday, and now today I’m drained. It means so much to me that you reached out.
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So lost
Some who understands 
maybe some emotional support??
dreams
Prozac and bizarre dreams.
