Any help is appreciated - High anxiety

[nsuth44]

For some reason I am constantly thinking that I am going to die. When I really think about it I can't reason it. The thought seems so strange. I constantly feel my heart skip a beat/palpitations. Just yesterday I felt a sharp pain in my left shoulder blade/back. It really caught me off guard and I instantly started sweating and became lightheaded. I also have been having a tight, squeezing feeling in the center of my back and it really scares me.

I'm 28 years old. I've had blood work done multiple times and went to the ER 4 times in a matter of a month. Twice in the same week. Everything always checks out. I've had 2 holter monitors and started using a CPAP machine. I am also seeing a psychiatrist and therapist. I currently lake 10mg of lexapro, 1 mg of risperdal and 30mg of buspirone. It feels like nothing is really helping. I'm always scared of having a heart attack. My mother passed of heart disease at 58 but I've been told it only runs in the females on her side.

I feel like nothing around me is real and I always get this strange sensation of being not real myself. The mornings are especially bad. I have very vivid dreams, lucid in a way some times. I've been struggling to discern between my dreams and real life, like did they really happen. It's a terrifying feeling and feels like everyone is telling me it's just my anxiety. My memory is shot and my perception of time is extremely skewed. It's been 6 or so months since this all started but it feels like just yesterday. I really have to think to remember things I did the day before.

I've only told these things to my doctors and I'm hoping anyone can lend some advice or if it gets better. It feels as if nothing really matters and life doesn't make sense. Every day feels the same and I can't relax.

Thanks.

[Jeff1943]

Anxiety takes many forms but it is always still anxiety. The feeling of impending death is a symptom many people have presented here with and I will explain why it happens.

When we experience high anxiety our nervous system tends to exaggerate everything ten fold. Muscular tension becomes an impending heart attack, a mild stomach ache must be a tumour.

It is normal for everyone to be concerned that they do not die before their time. But your anxiety exaggerates this into the fear that death is imminent. That's what anxiety disorder does: exaggerates and exaggerates.

Another example not associated with health is based on the fact that nobody wants to get laid off at work and lose their job. That slight worry is exaggerated tenfold in a person with anxiety into the belief that they are definitely going to be fired any day now.

The feeling of unreality is another common symptom of anxiety and is called derealisation. I used to get it in the 1970s, it didn't have a fancy medical name then and I used to describe it as "being like I'm not here" or as if I was watching everything on tv. It passed, as all symptoms pass, when our over sensitised nervous system calms down. Though I still feel it occasionally in places that have bright fluorescent lighting like supermarkets.

So the good news is you're not going to die any time soon and all these symptoms you describe should be accepted for the moment rather than feared. Fear is the enemy, if you can free yourself of fear your nerves will lose their over sensitive nature and all will be well again.

[gleason9guy]

You must reach deeply into yourself to find meaning, positive feelings, and healing. No one can do this for you. Find your happy places and visit them. Happiness and relaxation can be created pathways just as pain. Happy trails!