Hey everyone
I'm sorry I guess I just need a lil vent and maybe some advice. I always feel like something is wrong with me I feel like my anxiety is getting better in some aspects and worsening in others. Most of my problems stem from acceptance from other people. I've always been really shy and a loner. There're many layers to me and I never let anyone too close. Because don't get me wrong I don't want to be a "lone wolf" exactly the opposite but as soon as I reach out to someone or Vice versa I will be the one to shut it down soon after. I constantly second guess and doubt myself. It's like I don't want to be happy in my relationships. Like constantly thinking I'm a burden to my mother or my boyfriend doesn't really love me. Like I'm being lied to even though they have done nothing for me to assume so. I feel like I'm constantly sabotaging my happiness by putting myself down where it hurts most, which is what others think of me. In slight moments of happiness I doubt everything and I try to not think this way but as soon as I try and change my thinking it always remains in the back of my mind. I know I'm only human, no one is perfect, and everyone has flaws I'm just scared those thoughts are true. I suppose none of you know me and know the people I'm talking about, but i can't tell anyone else this.