Am worthless: I feel so worthless right... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

60,491 members60,402 posts

Am worthless

tamka38 profile image

I feel so worthless right now, thought I was on the right path. When I stop abusing alcohol,to start taking care of myself the right way got a psychiatrist got on meds and waiting to see a therapist. I been on Zoloft for 4 weeks and all I do it lay down on my couch all day I don’t eat or barely drink so I don’t have to get up am not cooking or cleaning my house or even taking baths

Am just sitting on my couch on all my apps reading my Bible doing my bible plans and the tv is watching me

My sons stay in they rooms so the only time I see them when they about to leave my oldest think am just being lazy I can see the disappointment in my Son’s face and I feel so bad about it, I was severely depressed Sept 2016-2017 and when I got better I pick up drinking alcohol again taking everything for granted I keep praying and asking my H.P. To heal me to help me

And am just waiting in pain, Depression and anxiety

Have ruined my life and my relationship with my

Boyfriend I don’t even leave the house to go see

Him and everyone I know is waking out of my life

And I really don’t have nobody I feel so alone

About to finish crying

35 Replies

It sounds like you are making good choices....but it will take time for results to appear. Hang in are doing better than you feel like you are!!!!

tamka38 profile image
tamka38 in reply to

Thank you everyday my body going through different symptoms and today

It feels like the back of my head and

Neck is throbbing and I don’t know if

Is my sinus or headache am just getting

Tired of everything right now

Am going to see the eye doctor Monday and ENT Thursday

in reply to tamka38

Hope they can help you feel better. It's great that you are taking care of yourself by going to see them! I bet a few months from now, you will feel so much better ....keep up the good work!!

tamka38 profile image
tamka38 in reply to

Thank you

Try meditation, yoga and always walk around even if it's for 5mins. I stopped taking medication because it didn't work for me. Just know that deppression and anxiety will leave you one day. Be positive and continue to pray. Let your sons know what you're passing through. They can read about it even though they may not understand. Just focus on God and believe that your healing will come one day.

tamka38 profile image
tamka38 in reply to Teaching

Thank you 🙏🏾

Oh boy I can feel your pain. I am so sorry for this. Keep up the good fight, in the end it's worth it. You will remain in my heart. Stand strong for you. Dump trucks of love, peace, light, joy & hugs!

tamka38 profile image
tamka38 in reply to

Thank you same to u

Dear tamka, worthless???? I don't think so !!!!!! You always encourage everyone here , you've replied to me so many times,shown loads of care and understanding,I think you were actually the first to welcome me here,you clearly have a very big warm heart . Stopping drinking is a big deal, there will changes in you , you Should be very very proud of that, Ive used alcohol too,so I understand. I'm on Zoloft too, my psychologist told me it's going to take 6-8 weeks for it to start taking effect so hang in there, I've been on it for about 4 weeks so I'm hopeful for both of us that wel start to feel better soon, lets make sure WE always take it , make sure you do !!! I'm so glad you opened up more, your there for everyone else and thought to myself you're on this site for a reason and was wondering how YOU were doing. I have a 16 yr old and 20 yr old at home, I adore them and wonder why they're not enough for me to have purpose to get up and do things and be happy, but why would I want to if I think I'm doing a crap job anyway and so down on myself, what's the point. There was a time when I was excited to start the day, get done what I need to get done. I'm praying for both of us to feel that sense of purpose, you have someone here who really understands!!! I'd like you to try one thing tonight, just cook one meal, ask your kids if they liked it and give them big cuddles, and tell them you need a bit of love back so you can do it again another night. But do not feel guilty if you can't!!!!! I understand!!!! Also , you could try telling those people who you feel are drifting away that you desperately need their help ,make it very clear and ask them please would they help you, I doubt anyone would say no , be honest with them , and when they ask what they can do , tell them you need them to come and see you, to sit and listen to you , to hold you and just let you cry ,to help you clean the house with you so feel purposeful again, bring a funny movie over and just sit with you and laugh. Tell them you want to get better, and this is how they can help you, be very very clear with them, I have a feeling they will be really happy you asked; they want to help you but don't know what you need. Thank them and tell them you need it badly and you would be sooooooo grateful for it . I think your boyfriend would be very happy to hear you ask him for help too. They could also take you out for a meal and just have a good laugh, ( even laughing out ourselves and what we're going through is good ) but I've heard that's mostly an Aussie thing, I don't know. I like laughing at some of the silly things I think and do . Tell them you're not eating properly, and please would they help you!!! I was told once making sure you eat is very important for our mental health. I wish I was with you right now!!! I wish I could do all these things for you , I would do it , , I think we'd get along amazing,but I'm on the other side of the world so a little hard , haha. If it feels like people aren't doing these things for you , it might not be them , you may not have been clear enough with them , tell them EXACTLY what you need, I expected people to just presume what I needed but they didn't.And don't leave out loads of hugs and talks, and tell them to drag you off the couch if they need to . I have a LOT of hope for you , I believe you are going to find happiness!!!! I really do . Don't forget, our Zoloft hasn't kicked in yet too, can't wait til it does. If anyone you know, even neighbors asks you how you are say really really terrible and they will probably ask if there's anything they can do ,you say YES !! Yes please!! I would love that very much, tell them what they can do. Do you have your mum around? I haven't been very close to mine, but a few weeks ago I told her I was in a shocking way , she came straight over and took me to the doctors and stayed with me , I can tell she was so happy I asked and it's brought us closer together. Would we do this for our own kids if they asked ? Absolutely!!! So why wouldn't they do this for us ? Also going to your local church would help, plenty of mother figures there who would be so so pleased to help , go to church, if you haven't before ,and get to know them, talk to the pastor and do not hold back and tell them you need help. Most people don't want to intrude on your personal space so are waiting for you to ask what you need and for you to open up and be honest. I have an incredible amount of hope for you !!! I really do !!!! . Love you and am praying out loud for you , begging god to come to your rescue through people. He is going to answer your prayers, im so sure of it !!!!! 😘😘😘😘😘😘 and hugs and love down the internet line to you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

tamka38 profile image
tamka38 in reply to Mumma_h

Awwww, this made my day. I appreciate u taking the time out to write me. Words can’t express the way I feel right now.

I been on Zoloft 100mg going on 5 weeks

Monday. And am praying for everybody on this site. Because we’re afraid of ourselves we’re to busy struck and the what if’s and totally be free and happy what the worst can happen to else that haven’t happen yet once we go to help someone else in need our needs lesser because we not focus on ourselves anymore and I have 5 Son’s my oldest will be 24 on the 16th of the month and my youngest is 18th I just want it to be the way it use to be but than

I would be back drinking again and I don’t need that in my life my brain is still healing and I wish I knew how much alcohol damages your brain and would had stop years ago but am not living in the past only moving forward from here how long u been dealing with anxiety and depression? And was it a time u was on antidepressants and it help u? Are you able to leave the house?

Rightnow am not leaving the house and

I just sit on the couch all day reading my bible and praying and meditation trying to get closer to the man upstairs I will continue to pray for u too 😘😘😘😘😘😘❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

You have been an encourager to so many of us. We are here to encourage you now! Your steps toward recovery are admirable and good and probably will take time. Sometimes, more time than we want. Please hang in there.

Have you ever considered the 12 step program, Celebrate Recovery? It is similar to AA, generally run through churches, is faith-based, and includes most addictions. It might be worth checking out.

Please now you are worthy! You are loved and lovable, and we are here for you.

Also have you

tamka38 profile image
tamka38 in reply to SuZQ154

Awwwww thank u so much I really appreciate your kind words. And

Am here for u too. I read the big

Book and I do online meetings

I was waiting to get stable on

My medication before I go to

Meetings but only God knows

When am truly ready am

Fighting a good fight

I just prayed out loud in the name of Jesus that healing needs to come to you and very very soon. I'm really excited about your future, I believe good things and feelings are coming your way . Love you so much beautiful sister in Christ ❤️

tamka38 profile image
tamka38 in reply to Mumma_h

Awwwww thank u so much am going to say this prayer I just started saying today am going to inbox to u

P.s I'm not a Crazy person lol, never had that said to me in my life , I just have this feeling for you that good things are good to happen, I don't know why , probably because I believe in god too x

tamka38 profile image
tamka38 in reply to Mumma_h

Oh no, I will never judge u. And u shouldn’t call yourself crazy. I believe too and am praying for the same happiness for u

Mumma_h profile image
Mumma_h in reply to tamka38

I know, I just wanted to let you know, cos it kinda does sound a bit crazy lol. I just have this feeling for you that good things are going to happen, I want you to be filled with hope , that's the first step HOPE , it's essential! And not a time to hold back, I've really got a strong feeling people WANT to help you but don't know what you need but don't want to invade your privacy

tamka38 profile image
tamka38 in reply to Mumma_h

And I don’t know how u know that but is true. I don’t let people in, in my mom had a seizure like 3 weeks ago and they found out she have a brain tumor and she stay

With me now

Tamka, are you in AA?

tamka38 profile image
tamka38 in reply to

No do online and read the big book am going to start meeting as soon as I get stable

in reply to tamka38

Ok ❤️

tamka38 profile image
tamka38 in reply to

Thanks 🙏🏾

maggief9812 profile image
maggief9812 in reply to tamka38

Please, you don’t have to wait to be “stable” to go to AA (unless you feel you’re just not ready yet?)

AA is designed to help you Become stable- they can help you on your journey.

Be strong, I think of you often and am rooting for you. Be proud of how far you’ve come and of your intent to go further! Accept that it is a process and like all processes it does take time. You’re human, and fallible, and that’s okay. You’ll get to where you want to be. :)

tamka38 profile image
tamka38 in reply to maggief9812

Awwwww thank you I really appreciate your kind words and u right I don’t have to wait until am stable I need to go one a week and plus I need to get out the house

You have us 💙 and look how much progress you're making you stopped drinking, always there for other members giving advices even on your bad days, you're doing your best to get better so you my dear is a warrior

Awwwww, Danielle thank u so much. I really appreciate it. I don’t get to hear

How good am doing at home. Because

I think people just see me as faking it

Or just being plain lazy because I don’t

Do anything but lay on my couch and

This morning I wake up to a panic attack

And my hand was numb and my feet

And I was anxious all day wondering if

The panic attack was going to come

Back I haven’t been leaving my house

Am praying my antidepressant kick in

Soon so I can be stable

I can so relate....

Everyday is a new symptoms for me and been trying so hard to overcome all of thisv

Yes trust me your not alone. I am trying to accept life on life’s terms and not use drugs or alcohol to mask my emotions and now I have to figure out how to be happy without them...

Believe me. I understand very well-where u coming from. All I use to do it drink alcohol and smoke marijuana and that’s how-dealt with my emotions and problems for years am here for u and am about to start AA meetings soon.

Yes I am going to do a Faith Based Program we have here in my city called Celebrate Recovery. I think it’s good to surround yourself with people who can relate with your struggles

U right am going to see if we have one in my city.

Good! It’s really awesome to see how God can restore the broken and lost souls of this world... I will be praying for you❤️❤️❤️

Our God is awesome and thank you

Yes I am going to do a Faith Based Program we have here in my city called Celebrate Recovery. I think it’s good to surround yourself with people who can relate with your struggles

You may also like...