I am to far gone

[Adamj]

That nurse that told me to get a handle on things before I was to far gone was right I am to far gone. Since march I’ve major gone down hill I had some good days but mostly bad I can’t seem to get a handle on this all and stop thinking and feeling the worst possible outcome. I’ve dealt with anxiety and such since I was a kid. Went through it really bad at 16-17 couldn’t leave my house was so anxious all the time I had a good 4 years with just having some normal anxiety and such. Came this year I was so stressed about a job money and such then got covid in February which I was doing okay with took me weeks to feel better but I made it through then came march my job transfered me to a another job and I hated it because I loved where I was instead of trying to stick it out I quite got stressed went to a job interview ended up getting this weird feeling that came over me all down the right side of my body felt like I was going to faint heart racing I got up started pacing thought I was gonna die had them call ems ems checked me out and was like we think you had a panic attack so I just went to my PCP this is when everything just started going down hill super stressed tried working at a job but then started panicking and feeling weird when I was there too so I quit went to my car and started balling went to the doctors and he was like yeah you’re fine try these Ativan even though I told him multiple times they didn’t work. I’ve tried so many different drugs my brain feels so fucked all I feel is doom and like something bad is going to happen to me. I can barely even leave my house anymore even if someone drives me my body starts freaking out. I’m so lost what to do anymore the crazy symptoms still exist I still feel like I don’t know where I am sometimes I feel so out of it I don’t feel alive I’m tired most the time my body just feels so weird I keep having shit replay in my head over and over especially stuff with my mom I’m sensitive to everything in my body ESPECIALLY in my chest area. I’m tired of feeling like this I’m lost I know most of you don’t know what to say anymore and I get that I don’t know what to do anymore maybe this all will kill me.

[saltysunshine]

I’m right there with you. I can’t even remember how many jobs I’ve had and just walked out. I have to have my husband chauffeur me around on really bad days. Sometimes I can’t go out of the house, not to mention I freaked out in the grocery store the other day and had to run out as fast as I could. I find myself thinking I’d be better off if I wasn’t on this earth, but when I think these things I look for one positive thing in my life and decide I will make it one more day. The next day comes and I try to look forward because I know there’s something different heading my way and I don’t want to miss out on it. My father committed suicide and I would never want to do this to my family because it nearly broke me. When you are paralyzed with anxiety try and make yourself smile, it helps me, maybe it will help you. Don’t forget about hugs, that’s one of my most favorite drugs and the side effects are incredible. I also try and make myself have a good day on purpose. You are not alone. Sending a big hug your way. I’m hear if you need someone to listen.

[Starrlight]

I had the same kind of thing said to me recently. It’s like reality hitting me hard in the face. It’s so hard not to stress and have panic attacks so I think I’ll just allow myself to feel everything as trying to resist doesn’t help… and I guess we can try focusing on the tools we have used that have worked for us.

[Adamj in reply to Starrlight]

all my coping skills and everything from the past has been thrown right out the window is the most frustrating thing

[Starrlight in reply to Adamj]

So you mean the skills don’t work now or you forgot them?

[Adamj in reply to Starrlight]

they don’t work now

[Against_the_current]

Hey, i know this feeling. Recently started having insane tahicardia and dizziness and don't want to leave even a house i hate. Also started around 16 and it got too much with the covid. It legits fucks the brain. Untill then it was normal anxiety and then got too much. But never too far, this is a label medical use to scare people and scaring people isn't really a good strategy, idk why they keep using it. I knew a guy who was told he's crazy and gone and now he's doing better than me. As little i was told i won't make it because of my heart issues and health and here i am at 22. Well yeah not at my best, perhabs in my worst, but alive. The rule is "as long as you doubt your sanity, you're sane"... Ah probably i don't make much sence. But know that you're not alone, you're not lost and you're worth fighting for and it gets better. I know this feeling, constant impending doom, desperation of living like that, and i just want to say congratulations for making it, for working, for trying to get better, for being strong. Be kind to yourself, know from experience we tend to puss ourselves too much in the game of anxiety and it esplodes or implodes. Yet, keep on walking. I'm here

[Adamj in reply to Against_the_current]

yes the constant feeling something bad is going to happen is hell

Plus having physical symptoms on top of it

[Against_the_current in reply to Adamj]

Yess. Feeling of inpending doom rn. On the verge of panic. Scared as hell. My head hurts like hell from this constant extreme anxiety

[b1b1b1]

If your present psychiatrist is not helping you start looking for a different one, but keep the one you have until you find one who helps you more. Keep in mind that you are under tremendous additional stress because of what your Mother is going through. Can you look for a new job--one without a lot of stress. I think it might help you to keep busy. Also, have you thought about an emotional comfort animal. If you are out of the house a lot a dog would not be good, but a cat might be helpful and they are pretty self sufficient.

This is the first post in which you have explained some of your past periods of anxiety. For the first time, I think I am convinced that your problem really is anxiety. In a way that is good news because it means that you do not have a life threatening physical illness, although I understand that it feels like you do.

Do you suppose church would help you at all? I am thinking of it more in terms of comfort and another reason to be out with other people for a short time. x

[Adamj in reply to b1b1b1]

idk what to do I’m literally paralyzed from the feelings and symptoms it’s horrible every time I start trying to do things something happens with my mom or something and I’m pushed right back down. I’m tired of being so aware of my body. I want a damn routine back instead of sleeping all the time because I’m so stressed

[Hidden]

Hey, we’re here for you. I know it’s got to be very difficult trying to handle things when you’re so concerned about what your Mom is going through and it can be tough just to get through the day. Try to get out of this dark hole you’re in. There is light at the end of the tunnel. You can’t see it right now but it’s there. Be good to yourself. Try to do some self care techniques. Take a long relaxing shower. Listen to some music that you like that is NOT dark and depressing, something inspirational and uplifting. No Adele or Nirvana!!! Hug a stuffed animal. Maybe try reading something comforting in the Bible or something like that. Try to help yourself the best you can. 🙂

[Adamj in reply to Hidden]

I’m so stuck I try and lay and listen to music or watch neutral tv and still have all the weird symptoms and shit come flooding back and feeling weird.

[Hidden in reply to Adamj]

Try to relax and calm down. Don’t overthink things. Try to think about something else or read a good book or watch a movie that you like. Maybe a comedy by Jim Carey or something like that.