8 Months into Heartbreak

[There_Will_Be_Light]

Hi Everyone,

I am going through a long period of depression and anxiety. My very serious boyfriend broke things off with me very unexpectedly in April, and we have had zero contact since. We were essentially living together, we had plans to move in together in a few months, and we were supposed to get coffee a month after the breakup ( we had a date set). After my things were picked up from his apartment, he never followed up, not even when we were supposed to meet about a month later.

I have stayed strong, and haven't reached out at all, but 8 months later and my mind is still running in circles. I just started Lexapro, I am working on finding a therapist, but it just feels so so painful, especially when you thought this person was forever. Lately I'm finding it hard to get to the gym, and I am questioning the friends that I have. Everything just feels so messy right now.

Can anyone relate to this? I know I need to stay positive and hopeful, but sometimes it just feels like there is no light.

[tamka38]

I know it hurts to think someone going to be with u forever and it don’t work out Maybe is time for u to work on yourself

To put your needs first and u doing the

Right things for as healing meditation

And therapy and if it been 8 months

And he still not trying to see u, than u

Need to find as my hobbies to keep your busy do u have any friends? Where do u

Go for fun? I remember my whole world my boyfriend and I regret that now because I never really love myself and now am learning it right now and he’s living his life and I should be doing the same because he showing me he don’t care am here if u want to talk wishing u the best of luck

[Racheezy]

I’ve recently been through something similar. He stopped talking to me after telling me we would talk about what was going on. That day never came. Unfortunately, ghosting has become extremely popular nowadays. It hurt me so much. I had just started a new birth control prescription as well so I spent about two weeks in my bed crying. I would only get up to get some food and for work. As soon as I would get home it was back to bed. It was really hard at first but I tried to look back at our relationship more objectively. I started realizing the things that went wrong weren’t necessarily things that he did wrong or I did wrong. It just wasn’t the right time.

Acceptance is really hard but once you embrace it and welcome it in, things get easier. Do things that make you feel good. Decorate your place with things that bring you joy, turn up your music and dance around while you clean. Take this time to learn more about yourself. More importantly, to take care of your needs and to love yourself. If you’re questioning your friends, take the time to analyze those friendships. Everything feels messy and they probably are. It’s not easy to let go of someone so close. Try to think of all the good and remember what’s meant to be will find a way. There could be someone better that you haven’t met yet. Keep your head up. It’ll get easier.

[There_Will_Be_Light in reply to Racheezy]

Thank you so much, this was really what I needed to cheer up. I am supposed to start a birth control since I have very low estrogen, but I'm afraid to start one and have it make me more upset or moody. I'm currently on Lexapro and Xanax to help, which does, but it sometimes feels like each day is a struggle. How long did it take you to really come to terms with it all?

[Racheezy in reply to There_Will_Be_Light]

It took me a while if I’m honest... prob a few months but my situation was kinda different. Honestly, it just takes time. It was really bad when it was fresh. Like I said, I did nothing but sleep and cry for two weeks. One day I just woke up and couldn’t cry about it anymore. I think you should think twice about the birth control right now since it will make you moody. I’m not sure there’s really a way around that since it’s hormones. I couldn’t afford to go see a doctor or get medication so I just tried some weed (lol). It helped me get in a lighter mood. I didn’t smoke a lot tho. It was mostly because I was desperate. & this might sound cheesy but I also got a puppy. I poured out all the love I had to give to someone who I know for sure won’t hurt my heart. Being with her and taking her on walks helped me so much. I’m at the point now where I can listen to love songs again and not get upset. I still miss him but I think of him a lot less now. It really is just a matter of time. Also, learning to love yourself is a big part of it. I’m still working on that but I like myself a little more today than I did months ago. Focus on yourself and becoming the person you’ve always wanted to be. Everything else will fall into place. You deserve love and you deserve someone who won’t do what he did. You’re worth a lot more than that. If he comes back then great but if not, it just wasn’t meant to be. It’s a hard lesson to learn and it won’t be easy but it’s not impossible.

[Jeff1943]

Romantic love is a feeling nature instils into us to keep us together for child rearing. Not a very romatic statement I know but that's about the truth of it. Suddenly the spell is cast, if it works out for life then fine. If not the spell remains a while and we are miserable.

What if that guy had never been born. You'd feel exactly the same about sonebody else. Nobody is indispensible. Before too long another guy will come along and you'll feel exactly the same about him as you feel now about this guy you've just parted from.

Although you know I'm right I know it brings you no comfort. But as weeks pass into months the spell begins to weaken and you're ready for the next bewitching stranger to pass your way, stop and give you that certain smile.

Ladies, there is another amazing guy about to enter your life any time now and you will sweep him off his feet and watch spectacular sunsets together. I give you my personal guarantee. And you will think to yourself "Whatever did I see in that last b*m?"

But until then best not to play any Roy Orbison records for a while🤔

[Sabio77]

Hello there_Will_Be_Light. I understand that this seems like a very low time for you. I am sorry that you are going thru this. I agree it does hurt when you feel like you are with a mate forever and then you get a curve ball. I do have to say that I am proud of you for trying to go the gym still. That is encouraging to hear you say. I encourage you to keep seeking a trained professional in your area. It has helped me out. but keep in mind that this is a process and it takes one step at a time, one hour at a time, half a day at a time then so on... does this make sense? I have went thru this process myself and still using my tools of positivity to keep me going daily. I have learned it is all in how I think and what I believe in. So, please...BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. Learn to forgive those who have hurt you and then forgive yourself. Yes, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I believe in you. Please keep us posted in how you are doing. You have cyber family on here who cares.