I'm 26 yrs old and have been through a lot. long story short I have had depression since I was about 15. I also suffer from some anxiety. This is a long post but please read
ive been on medication for about 7 years now. I went through a horrendous period 3 years ago after a devastating breakup between myself and my fiancé. we had been togther for 3 years. anyway, since then I haven't been able to feel quite the same. Ill have ok days and down days. Its not that I miss him, it was a mutual agreement but just so sad.
since then I have dated 3 other people and 2 of them didn't work out. the first one broke it off with me, leaving me gutted and I broke the second one off last year a few months after we moved in together. He was a narcissist. we were so happy at the start and we loved each other lots. but he had a lot of family issues later on and showed me his real side. since we split last year I have met a really nice amazing guy. we have been togther 8 months now and he moved in with me last month to be with me as we lived 5 hours apart.
My PROBLEM is I'm struggling with depression again now that we live together. before this I was pretty good. I had my struggles with pms like every month but now I feel constantly down and so exhausted. I cant stop obsessing and thinking "what if it doesn't work out?" "do I still love him" "shouldn't being with him make me not depressed?" and so...
What do I do? I live in a remote area and don't have access to many counsellors. The one ive been seeing for the last 3 years has been ok but shes not helping me find coping solutions.
Please help. I have no one to talk to and feel like ending my life somedays as I get some depressed and down