Anxiety over relationship

[hitbyasegway]

almost two months ago my boyfriend and I broke up. We had been talking about marriage and a house and kids. He told me he was saving for a ring. Then he broke up with me out of now where. Long story short, he's back, but he slept with this one girl in his class at least once a week for the whole time we were broken up. He was loyal and honest and incredible when we were together before so I have no reason not to trust him. I understand what happened when we were broken up shouldn't bother me, but I struggle with anxiety and depression and it's all I think about. He's trying very hard to help me through this hard time and he feels awful about what he did. But I can't stop imagining him being with someone the way he was with me. He said he was drunk every time but i still can't get out of my head about it. I want to get over this and I want to spend the rest of my life with him and I know I won't feel like this forever, but does anyone have tips on getting through this?

[NeuronerdDoaty]

I hope it works out well for you. I move forward. I hope the best for you.

[MeowMeow0575]

Ok I am going to give you some tough love right now, but know it’s from experience! TRUST YOUR GUT! If you’re feeling anxiety from him, then you need to get rid of him to get rid of the anxiety. A leopard doesn’t change his spots! I don’t care how he is treating you now, but why would you want to be with someone who broke your heart? And his excuse that he was drunk is bull...what happens when he gets drunk again? May I ask how old you are? My advice is to move on without him. It will be tough at first, but you can do it! You deserve someone who will NEVER CHEAT or leave you!! You can do this!

[Oh12]

Hi, um I guess I don’t have specific experience with this because I’ve never gone through it but I am also severely depressed and sometimes anxious as a byproduct and I am also a big fan of the tv show friends, and this is the Ross and Rachel being on a break situation. I don’t know if that gives me any reason to say what I think, but I’ve spent lots of time thinking over that situation and for me I know I’d never be with Ross again after that. Not because of him but because I know that I’d never feel as comfortable and assured and supported with him as I need to be because of my personal state. I just know that dealing with depression is so hard already and my moods are often fragile and I know that I never would trust him and I’d always use that as a reason why I hate myself when I am having an episode, it wouldn’t be about him betraying me it would be why I wasn’t good enough and why I’d never be good enough for anyone to be with and I’d think “why wouldn’t he have wanted to do that, obviously I’m awful” and just other stuff etc and so no matter how much I cared about him I just didn’t think I could ever be in that situation and get back together with the person because it wouldn’t be the best for my mentality at least at the time. So my point really is just that you should do what’s best for your state of mind. If you have to seek support for the issues that is causing you then maybe it would be a positive trade off to lose his support while also reducing the stress on yourself.

[Sprinkle1]

Hello, sounds like you are young so without much experience with males. I married a man who was a cheat, he got away with it for years. Then he would leave me. One time when I could not get him on the phone, I tried many times. I wrote my feelings down in my journal, that was not enough, so at 2 am I drove to his Apt. there was another car parked close by, so I sat in the car and waited, sure enough a woman came out. I followed her to her car, and said this is my husband, she got in her car, waved at me and drove away. I went back to the Apt, made him let me in, and confronted him, he denied it, so I threatened to turn the coffee table over. So then he admitted it. ( this was a Sunday Eve, the night before he had invited me over for dinner, I staid the night and had what I thought was love). He talked about coming home, and then he did this. Eventually he came home, but having sex with him after that was awful. I kept thinking about what he did.

I would say to you seek help, talk with a therapist, go to a support group, they can be wonderful. If your depression/anxiety do not lift, talk to your Dr. a short dose of antidepressants could be a way to ride yourself of those illnesses. Try St.John Wort, you can get it at any drug store, or Walmart.

Do not put yourself down, you are a special and valuable person, love yourself, believe in yourself, go with your feminine intuition it is seldom wrong.

When my husband left me for the third time, with the support of my therapist and the group I divorced him. It opened up a whole new world for me, and I grew. So if I could do it so can You. I send your courage, peace, love and hugs.....Sprinkle 1.....

[hitbyasegway in reply to Sprinkle1]

Thank you so much for sharing your story and your advice and kind words. Good luck with your journey❤️

[momofjust2boys]

Have you considered couples counseling, if you really want to make it work? If he really wants to be successful this time, he should agree. Counseling can help you guys work out the issues that caused the breakup, and build healthy habits to move forward. Please post again and let us know how you are doing.