My fiance left me because of my depression

We were to be married in a month. We have been dating nearly three years. But as we came closer to the wedding, my depression became worse and worse. We were fighting all the time. One day he spoke to his mum about the problems in our relationship. Few hours later he broke up, cutting me off of his life completely. I am here, left to sweep up the fragments of the wedding. I am angry, confused and lonely. I will never get back together with him. But it doesn't stop me from feeling blue

[Hidden]

It's for the best. You need someone there through the good and bad.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I am slowly starting to realize that 😊

[Misty41]

I am so sorry to hear that happened to you. I am actually recently engaged and my fiance is just very down. He does have depression but thinks his meds are controlling it. He's so depressed that any talk about our wedding stresses him out even more. I am not thinking of leaving him but wish I knew what to do to make him feel happy.

[Hidden in reply to Misty41]

Hi, I felt like that during wedding planning. I hated it. No matter how much we talked about it, my fiance didn't understand what I was going through. Finally one day get said he can't handle it anymore. Cut me out if his life completely! I have managed to cancel wedding plans with the help of my parents. I don't understand how the man who claimed to love me and never leave for three years is now a ghost to me. I am sitting here wondering if he even remembers the promises he made when he gave me the engagement ring

[Diana60 in reply to Misty41]

Have him get checked out by a SPECIALIST for hormones. They really can control you in a bad way if they are depleted.

[Laura0424]

I had the same scenario just happen to me about two days ago. Add into the equation though my child. She's eight years old with separation anxiety and depression. It hurt her I think worse than it did me. He couldn't really handle my mental illness issues and the way I am. I guess it will just be my daughter and I forever then because I am at the point of giving up on finding a good relationship.

[Hidden in reply to Laura0424]

Hi, I'm so sorry this happened to you. I know how you feel. I'm feeling the same. As if I'm not worthy of love. But you know what, people around me keep saying "marriage is for better or for worse. If he's the type to run and hide as soon as a challenge comes in the way, he's not ready for marriage". Trust me sweetie, one day you will find a strong man to love you through it all. I am trying to hold on to that hope no matter how hard it is. I'm here to talk anytime

[Laura0424 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you very much for those encouraging words. Yes, I am seeing if that is how it will be and especially when a child's heart is involved, that's not cool. It makes things more difficult and trying to explain it to people is like talking to a brick wall usually because they don't get it if they haven't been through it.

[Hidden in reply to Laura0424]

Yeah. You know, everything was in place for the wedding. He left me to cancel things and didn't even check what's going on. He us treating me like an enemy for some reason. I do get lonely often, but I try to keep going. Anyway, are you getting help? I recently started EMDR that helps me deal with my childhood trauma

[Laura0424 in reply to Hidden]

That's a piece of work to leave someone with anxiety over canceling everything .... smh.. Omg yes !! Emdr is what I went through about three months ago for my childhood ptsd. It has really helped in that aspect. I thought at first ....this is weird ... but it worked. Afterwards the parts we went over, I haven't really thought or dwelled much on those anymore.

[Hidden in reply to Laura0424]

Yes. Oh well saw his true colors. You can drop me a message anytime you feel like talking. Lots of love. You will get through it

[Laura0424 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much! Same here! Anytime send me a message! Have a good night!

[Diana60 in reply to Laura0424]

Try getting tested for the MTHFR genetic testing. Google it. I am positive for it and put on a simple vitamin like prescription each month.

[Laura0424 in reply to Diana60]

Thank you for the advice!

[copasedic]

I'm sorry for what you have to deal with. I was diagnosed with bipolar in an acute psychotic state 2 months before I was scheduled to be married and I spent nearly a month in the hospital. Both families ( mine and my fiancé's) got together with my beau and decided it would be best if we postponed the wedding. My beau called me while I was a patient in the psych ward, and told me what the families had decided. I went ballistic! I told him that there were no guarantees in life, that marriage was for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part! That he could marry me on our set day or forget about EVER marrying me, and being that he was the only man I ever wanted to marry, I would just start hichiking west upon my release from the hospital and let the chips fall where they may! Some people gave us 2 weeks and predicted divorce, others refused to come to the wedding..... we got married, took our dream honeymoon on a BMW R90S motorcycle traveling across the USA from national park to national park camping, and we've been married 32 years blessed with 2 children a boy now nearly 21 and a girl now nearly 16. So there

[Laura0424 in reply to copasedic]

Thank you for your response! Congratulations on your lasting marriage and making it successful!

[copasedic in reply to Laura0424]

It's not all easy but it's worth it when you find the right guy!

[Hidden in reply to copasedic]

I hope I find the right guy too... Thank you for the story of hope

[km147]

I think that ending it early might have been good for you. I do not think he is the right guy if he can't deal with your issues. Just like any illness mental illness is apart of the package and if can't deal with it then he's not worth it.

[Laura0424 in reply to km147]

I was thinking it is better that this came up early than to last a long time and it not end up making it. It hurts to think that my issues will present me from having someone to love me forever.

[copasedic in reply to Laura0424]

Your issues will not prevent the right person from loving you

[Laura0424]

You will be ready! Just stay positive and open communication

[mysmugcat]

I agree with the above poster. Sorry to hear these struggles.

[Veg_Gal]

Wow, I can't imagine what that must have been like. So sorry, you are staying strong! Sending prayers your way in Jesus name. Please continue to reach out and be in community. It will help and you are worthy of true love no matter what. ❤

[Hidden in reply to Veg_Gal]

Thank you

[Hidden]

I cannot imagine how you feeling. All I can say is to take care of yourself, love yourself and be kind to yourself.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you yoloxochitl6! It has been two months now. I did not think I'd get so far, but I have. I am only crying once a week now! haha

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

Purple_54, thank you so much for sharing your success in getting as far as you have in 2 months time . There are so many men and women on the forum who have or are experiencing the heart ache of a break up. I always feel it is better to hear from someone who has gone through the same experience.

Taking small steps allows you to heal so that you can proceed forward cautiously. Crying only once a week is good compared to the multiple times a day I'm sure were there at the beginning. You deserve happiness in life and it will happen for you. Things happen for a reason, may the reason end up giving you a lifetime of peace and happiness in your life. xx

[Molldoll14]

My boyfriend couldn't handle my depression either. He said he had enough of his own problems and could not handle mine as well. I felt guilty for always venting to him after he told me that and now we are not together. I think if someone truly loves you, they will take the good with the bad. As much as my boyfriend has going on with his life right now, I wish he would have communicated to me that my depression/anxiety was too much for him before he just went and ended it all together. Me and him are still talking but not as boyfriend/girlfriend. I know I deserve better and so do you. In both cases, they should have done their part to support us and motivate us to get help with our diseases. Leaving us shows that deep down they didn't care enough to see us get better and we both deserve someone who will do anything for us, regardless of how hard it may be.

[Hidden in reply to Molldoll14]

Yes absolutely! I used to cry and ask myself "what is wrong with me?", "Am I not good enough?", but the sad truth is, my ex-fiance only wanted to happy and lovable part of me. When he proposed, he got on his knee and said he will love me forever, but he couldn't even make it to the wedding date (even though he was the one planning the wedding). I am so glad I got to see him for who he was before kids and things. I have lots of faith that I will find a guy who will support me through it all, after all, I am a very sweet person when I am not depressed. I am faithful and loyal. but my ex chose to throw that away because he couldn't handle a bad time for a short period. Just to share one example out the the MANY (that I was blind to, because I thought there was something wrong with me) he chose to leave me in hospital after I'd overdosed on pills and went to his bachelor's night. He said he couldn't let the guys down because they had already paid for everything.

Well now that I am better I see that he was not the right person for me. I am working on my issues and I know one day I will truly find someone who will love me for better or for worse. Not just for the better

[starcatcher]

Hi. I know it's been 9 months since this post, but how are you doing?