Just want support

[Manduu32]

I have been dealing with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depression since I was a child. My mother doesn't believe in taking medications, so this was left untreated until I could speak for myself and get my own insurance. I have been on Citalopram, Wellbutrin, and now Prozac. I have also taken Buspar 10 mg three times daily for 4-5 years. I just have these moments of sadness and disconnect. I am honestly sometimes scared to be alone. I don't have thoughts of harming myself at all, but don't really care if something happens to me. My partner blames most of our arguments on my anxiety and depression and I don't feel that's fair. We are awaiting couples counseling. I just feel I have no one to talk to and no one to understand me.

I have a decent job, but I am not utilizing my Bachelor's degree, but I have been applying to a lot of jobs. I cant survive on what I am making now. I am 32 and don't have children and I honestly don't know if I ever will, but I am getting a lot of pressure from my family to have kids. I am with someone who has 2 children and I have become a huge part of their life and take them to events and essentially fill the 'mom' role when they are at my house. I do not feel appreciated by them (which I understand is normal), but I also feel my partner doesn't appreciate me as much as I'd like for him to.

Im just at a loss and I don't know how to get out of this funk.