Trying to explain feelings... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Trying to explain feelings...

Ssserg profile image
Ssserg

I have tried and tried to explain how I feel to my loved one... they don’t understand. No matter how hard I try to explain how I feel and why, they just don’t get it. They are the most positive, loving, caring person I’ve ever met in my whole life and it hurts me to try to explain my anxiety and depression to them because I feel like it’ll only hurt them if they ever did fully understand...

Yesterday I had a horrible episode of depression... I tried all day to explain everything and again, nothing. It’s exhausted to talk about feelings when you feel like nothing matters. It’s hard to try to explain because “oh great this is just another thing I’m not good at”

it’s just a hard situation....

Last night I couldn’t sleep. I just laid in bed drowning in my feelings and thoughts.. so, I decided to try to go back and read the texts messages of me trying to explain what’s going on just to see how I “messed up” and I honestly thought to myself I don’t know how to explain how I feel. How am I supposed to help someone understand me when I don’t understand myself .... depression is hard and exhausting .. I’m so tired of trying..

15 Replies
Hidden profile image
Hidden

Hello Ssserg. Like you, I struggle to explain my symptoms as I do not feel I understand them myself. Is it possible to ask your loved one to research depression and anxiety online? There will be lots of information out there for loved ones and that may help them to understand things. When I first met my partner, they researched into BPD as I have it. It helped us both such a lot. Please do not blame yourself for not understanding something that many health care professionals do not understand either.

Ssserg profile image
Ssserg in reply to Hidden

I love this... I will definitely have them look into it! Thank you so much for sharing!

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Hidden

I find the best way to explain my feelings to my significant other is to share in texts short memes or a sentence or two of someone’s feelings in this site.

Whatever hits you as “oh I can relate to this” one is what to share.

Knowing you are not alone helps so much.

Ssserg profile image
Ssserg in reply to Hidden

This is great... I have only been on this site for 24 hours and have sent them multiple things on how I feel! I’m glad I’m not the only one! Thank you!!

I totally get that. I wish I could get compassion from my great husband.

After expressing this same frustration about my husband to a fellow depression and anxiety sufferer, she shared this article with me.

ttps://everydayhealth.com/columns/...

Thank you for sharing!

I found over the years that those that do not suffer from mental illness have a hard time understanding us. Loved ones love us so much and feel bad they cannot "feel" us. It's okay, we're all here for each other. Over the years I have found that students whose passion is mental health tend to have mental health disorders as well. That's not a bad thing - it makes therapists more empathetic to their clients. Don't ask them - they won't tell you. Hang in there baby! Good karma!

Ssserg profile image
Ssserg in reply to NWGal

This is me.. I struggle with anxiety and depression yet I want to be a psych nurse... I am supposed to graduate in May so hopefully it all works out

NWGal profile image
NWGal in reply to Ssserg

With an increased focus on mental health, I have no doubt you would make a important contribution to the field!

Hidden profile image
Hidden

So I also struggle with this and have thought about trying to write it in a journal in a way that people could at least kind of understand. I've yet to do that, but the only way I can even begin to explain my depression and anxiety is like this:

Simple thoughts become complex. They penetrate the deepest most quiet place in your mind and create a type of chaos only the person experiencing it can feel. It's like having 100 different voices in your head telling how you're a screw up and tempting you to dwell in that for long periods of time. It's like constantly 2nd guessing yourself and then second guessing your second guessing. It's a cycle that's draining both emotionally and physically and it makes you unable to enjoy anything because the amount of weight you feel you carry. Its guilt that slowly eats away at you and can never be satisfied until you are at your breaking point. Its talking yourself out of self harm or suicide on a regular basis. It takes away your feeling of worth. Then comes along anxiety to make it worse by adding the constant worry or fears you may have. It's like having the biggest nastiest meanest bully you can imagine living inside your head 24/7 beating the crap out of you, but no one can see or hear them. Its having to fight that bully everyday maybe for months or years on end, and hoping they dont return when things start to get better. Its random crying and feeling like a burden on everyone around you, and wondering why you're here some days. And then its carrying the stigma that mental illness could potentially = murderer. People with mental illness get treated like they dont matter or just need to get over it. And that is one of the worst things to feel as we have no control over our condition.

I hope you find peace in your life and the words to describe how you feel, it's hard. That little paragraph I feel didn't even do justice to describe what depression and anxiety can do.

I hope things get better for you, and god bless!

Ssserg profile image
Ssserg in reply to Hidden

Wow I love this.... I bc can relate to this so much. Thank you for sharing. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one!❤️

Hidden profile image
Hidden in reply to Ssserg

I really do hope things improve for you, I can remember all too clearly what your going through. You're in fight everyday, for your life. Dont give up! And you wouldn't be here if you didn't have a purpose! I truly believe that.

Ssserg profile image
Ssserg in reply to Hidden

Thank you so much....

I'm sorry you are depressed and it is affecting your sleep, I understand and sympathize. When you aren't sleeping everything becomes harder and it is tough to heal then. I always keep magnesium near by so I can take it to help sleep in case I can't, since it calms the mind body and spirit. Hoping this helps you too. Vit D is great too and the best way to get it is getting out in sun without sunscreen for a bit. I put on audios that are a calm favorite to listen to on timer at low vol. it lulls me to sleep and turns off my brain. Ginseng is great also to get rid of those loopy negative thoughts that stick in the head. Best to you! =)

Emotions are so hard to pin down, sometimes people need a more concrete explanation. Clinical mental health issues aren't a choice, they are as real an illness as asthma or diabetes. You wouldn't tell someone having an asthma attack to just start breathing or a diabetic to suck it up and stop feeling sick just because their blood levels are out of wack. The same is with mental illness. Brain chemicals, neurotransmitters are out of wack for us. In fact, you can see the difference between a normal brain and one with depression, bipolar, and schizophrenia on brain scans. Go online and search for images of this, it might help to explain why you can't just snap out of it. It might also help you to remember its not your fault. Good luck to you.

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