Just want to say...

I'm trying to overcome my anxiety and depression, I'm doing the best I can. There are people who don't understand how crippling it is for me to deal with my mental issues, they think its easy to get rid of, as if I could snap my fingers and be perfectly normal, but its not that easy! If it was, I would have done it by now. Every day is a struggle, I never know whats going to set me off, when im going to get a panick attack, or how I'm going to deal with my thoughts and emotions. I literally feel like I have no control of myself sometimes, its scary. I'm not trying to give myself excuses, that's something that people have said. I, in no way at all like being the way I am. I understand that its difficult for people to understand, but at the same time, I hate feeling like everyone thinks the worst of me. I'm not being lazy, I'm not making excuses, this isn't one big lie, anxiety and depression wasn't a choice for me. Having no friends, not being able to work or drive, ect... isn't living the good life. Anyways, I'm trying and I'll continue to keep pushing until I'm better.

[LovingLife7]

I completely understand how you are feeling. Please hang in there!

[Tvera]

I can completely relate to everything you are saying. It is exactly how I feel today ...want to snap my figures or find that thing that is going to make it all go away. Don't give up and keep on trying.

[Hidden]

Don't allow anyone to underestimate your pain and tell you your experiences and emotions are not valid - when people attack those vulnerable, ever for literally no reason, it's only a reflection of themselves. Everything you are feeling is valid and we are super-humans for still being here and pushing through life while suffering from one of the most misunderstood and tormenting illnesses in this life. Empower yourself ❤️💙

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Well said! Truthful. Thank you!!

[gogogirl]

I regret some decisions I made some years ago that have changed my life. I was selfish and deserve this. Every day I am getting worse not better. I am just going through the motions of life for my husband and dog. There I said it. I do not have the strength to interract with people anymore. Can;t smile anymore. I have nothing. I deserve this. If only I could turn back the clock( no I am not a criminal). I have very little to look forward to, and basically am in isolation.

[gogogirl in reply to gogogirl]

I even put on a "show" for my husband.

[claire0410 in reply to gogogirl]

It's hard to accept the fact that you can't change the past. In no way does anyone deserve this. I'm sure we all have made some bad choices, it doesn't make us bad people. Please know that everyone here is wishing you peace in your life. Don't give up the fight, and please forgive yourself for whatever is eating you up inside.

[gogogirl in reply to claire0410]

I can't, and most people do not make these kinds of choices. I try to have peace. I have depression big time. I only "smile" on the outside not the inside. I have no family ( other than husband ) near me, and my husband's siblings are atrocious towards him as well. This is my punishment. BTW my husband does not well up with guilt like this. He tries to understand me. I had a counselor years ago ( I fired her) who said I was culpable( no I am not a criminal and do not do drugs or anything), and I deserved what I got. She even slammed my arm in her door.

[Hidden in reply to gogogirl]

Why would she say such a thing? That's wasn't right of her, especially given the fact that shes a counselor whos job is to try and help you. I dont know know you, but I'm sure you dont deserve this, honestly I'm sorry you're going through this.

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. I confided something really difficult to her after a year and a half. She said I was culpable- and not a victim. I never said I WAS a victim- she also took phone calls during sessions. I have never felt worse in my life, and I am in my sixties. Still, I am happy that I have my husband and dog.

[Hidden in reply to gogogirl]

Some people are just plain mean and bitter, that woman should have been fired from her job, its bogus that she had the reaction she did, unprofessional. But, you have your husband and your dog that's a plus side, right? I'm sure things get unbearable (I understand that!) However, sometimes life has its perks

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

I have a big gape in my psych and my pocketbook- looked for the "stars" so to speak and got scammed. What an $$hat I am. Man, I hope I am not "doomed" to live to 100 or something like that.

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

I am ASHAMED of myself at my age normally have my feet on the ground. What happened to me? Did I take on depression, did I take on others depression? I make no excuses. Well, my brother does say I am on another planet, and a space cadet ( yes, I deserve that too).

[claire0410 in reply to gogogirl]

I turned 60 this year myself. I have my husband and a cat. We have no children. I am sorry about your experience with a counselor. They are not supposed to judge and she was wrong to do so. Maybe you could find someone else to talk to. I think it does help me to have someone to talk to and just listen without judgement. I have done things that I am not proud of, but I try to accept the fact that I can't change them - only strive to learn from them as well as try to forgive myself. Maybe a different counselor can help you to forgive yourself.

[comb]

This is exactly how I feel today, thank you for letting me know I'm not alone.

We've got this 🌈

[Hidden in reply to comb]

For sure!

[Sandia]

One day at a time

[Telisha40]

And i think that makes it worse sometimes we wish we were normal if u dont suffer with it u dont know but we understand

[Bert-75]

that's it in a nutshell then you become increasingly insular and cant relate to people and you find yourself alone with no one to talk to or who can understand. I have been alone for years because of my anxiety because I don't have the confidence to relate to people it all sounds stupid but its real hopefully I will find a good woman to share my life with and cheer me up but to be honest ive more chance of spotting the fabled unicorn, don't be like me and shut yourself away from everything I only wish I could follow my own advice