I just want to be HAPPY

[Beautyisjustmakeup]

I would have friends if I didn't have Anxiety! I'm not a socially awkward person or I'm not unattractive; I just hate the stares! I've been told all my life that I'm beautiful but I don't feel like it a lot and it gets me extra attention my Anxiety cannot handle! It makes me extremely uncomfortable and paranoid and I tend to isolate myself from the world's judgment and gossip. But the loneliness kicks in and being a single mother doesn't help with this overwhelmed stress, I just want to be comfortable in the skin I'm in!

[faulhallen]

Hello!

I’m not entirely sure I’m the best person to be providing advice to you but I hope you don’t mind if I take a couple shots in the dark since I’m trying to get back in the site more.

First, I know it’s cliche but you have to work on your opinion of yourself. Use kinder words to describe yourself and avoid using words that subtlety bring you down. Even things like “cannot handle,” makes things seem more daunting and impossible than they need to be. By choosing to think instead something like “this is more than I can currently deal with,” you remove that impossibility. It seems less hopeless and helps with your overall optimism. I have a post about it if you have time and can dig through the titles to find it.

Secondly, I haven’t seen you but I’m absolutely certain you’re being too hard on yourself about your appearance. I get that there are things about the way you look that you don’t like. I’m pretty sure everyone feels that way. I am certainly no expert on the subject but I would recommend trying to focus mentally less on your perceived flaws and more on what you like about yourself. Yes there may be things keeping you from looking like a model but you shouldn’t hold yourself to some absurd standard.

Flaws make us unique and it’s our personalities and emotional connections that truly endear is to someone. Initial physical attraction helps get the process started but I’ve always believed that someone I have feelings for is infinitely more attractive than a stranger.

If none of that helps I firmly believe that everyone is attractive to someone and that all women who aren’t vain beyond all reason are at least 100% more attractive than they feel like they are.

As far as the “I would have friends if I didn’t have anxiety...”. I feel like the answer is find better friends. It’s hard as an adult but there are people out there capable of being amazing supportive friends to people with anxiety and depression. In my experience they usually have them as well or have had problems at one time or another but hey 🤷‍♂️. There’s nothing wrong with that. Just don’t hold yourself back from trying because that’s what people see. Find people who are supportive and respectful of your feelings that encourage you rather than make you feel like a bad friend.

I’m not on the app as much as I used to be but I do check my messages and I have given personal information out to people for more direct contact. If you’d ever like to talk or simply need to vent.

I hope you stop beating yourself up so much and if I don’t talk to you have a lovely weekend! 🙂

[hypercat54]

It's a fact of life that beautiful women (and handsome men) get a lot more attention than others and I understand this can be hard to deal with, but when people stare they aren't judging you but just admiring the way you look.

I must admit part of me is insanely jealous of you because I have always wanted to be good looking but never achieved it. I have got a lot more of the 'ugly' comments from men which has damaged my self esteem instead. x

[Hiddenglow]

Hi Beauty! Beauty is skin deep and I believe the beauty you have inside is what you should focus on. I completely understand how the the stares make you feel because I go through it as well. I know I’m beautiful inside and out, but I get very anxious when people stare. I’ve learned to just accept that some people have never seen such beauty and are in awe and I just throw a little wave at whoever’s staring and they usually immediately look away lol.

[hypercat54 in reply to Hiddenglow]

Brilliant! x

[Esther228]

Oh, I know how it feels to suffer from anxiety—it really does weigh you down. It is not fun! I used to have anxiety a lot around certain people at work, or at events where I was uncomfortable or where I felt stress. I tried several things to help me get through my feelings. I kept asking myself, “Where is this coming from?”

There were a few things that I tried that helped me. I would pray before going to work, read my Bible for comfort, tried calming therapy’s like using lavender spray, and I even pinched my skin when I was trying to calm my nerves, another trick was to refocus my attention to another part of the room.

Have you dealt with this all your life or did this just happen over the last few years? I am so sorry you are going through this. I am sure thinking of you.