hi, oh, yeah, this is a new format like you said, Nathalie.
I think I read it briefly.
I am dissociating.
First, I want to thank everyone who has pm'd me
and replied to my posts lately, and just everyone for being on here.
I know I have not gotten back. Or replied to posts lately. It has been ridiculously hot for weeks of 107F. I think it must be climate change.
I have been doing all I can to clean, take care of me, and cats.
People I know say I am doing better this summer than the last five.
It is just that now with four more days of 105F and sending a beautiful
plant box and card to my father, now for 93rd bday which is tomorrow,
I began to dissociate. I am having very bad ptsd. Nightmares. Flashbacks again. Lashing out in anger.
My spine hurts so much.
I just emailed a coach person. I am trying. Self care all I can.
I want to be on here more and the heat and ac has been so much, hotter than usual again and hardly any monsoons yet. All I can do is one thing at a time.
I planted some pretty white flowers with pink center. I like petunias so I will get some and plant those.
By the afternoon, the hottest time of the day, it has been not good lately, dissociating.
My father is in my psyche since I sent the card and plant to get there today and tomorrow is bday. Please pray if you do and would ? that I will be well and get through today and next few days.
I know I cannot be there for anyone if I am not taking care of myself first.
I feel the worthlessness feeling, the terror, the pain in my spine, the tapes in my head saying I am in danger and no good and on and on. I have been freezing, not moving.
But pushing myself, to get my meds, do the next right thing.
I am trying my best.
I am very slowly trying to reach out to new kind people .
And also been talking with a new coach to try once again to have some more support.
thank you for any prayers and any support. I know I am rambling.
I am thinking of all beautiful souls here and hope when this adrenaline stops, I will
be able to come back on more again and also reply to so very kind pm's, to posts, and replies from before, thank you so much...<3 -after ridiculous heat, ac issues.
Written by
peacefulandcalm
Encourager
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I am sorry it's been so very hot where you are and I know that the heat is a huge issue.
Hope you will have some cooler weather soon.
It's a triggering situation with your father's birthday. Nice that you sent him a gift and a card.
thank you Nathalie <3 I will have to read the instructions in two days after heat, supposed to go under 100F next week too.
thank you for your support so much.
I am hurting so much today. I sent these and no email
back yet about plant, and it is fine, it just is typical of this person , most people probably would have sent email by now, but I am trying to let it go.
It is just that is causes CPTSD, any interaction, I have to go through hell so badly and I am in agony....it will pass in a few days....xx
Hi P&C. I hope you are ok? Did you receive a response from your father?
You are a great daughter - I want you to know that. No matter what response you do or do not receive - you are a super daughter, who is coping with life - often in its extreme - and I think you are an incredibly strong lady, who does deserve all the very best.
The summer here in England, is reaching high temperatures and I am appreciating the annual challenge that you face.
I dearly hope that this year you can find the outcomes, the answers, the resolves - everything that is needed to ensure that this hot weather does not detrimentally impact on your health ....
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