I was 14 my sister approx 16 or 17. She tells me she is going to kill herself by gassing herself in the bathroom. She ignores my pleas not to go ahead and she goes onto the bathroom locks the door and I hear her turn on the gas. I'm pounding on the door for her to come out. She doesn't so I call my father who I most probably knew would react the way he did. Which was breaking down the door and belting her. I cant remember anything after she came out, and got belted. Maybe she blamed me for calling my father, but I don't remember. I am 67 and 20 months ago my partner of 18 years threw himself of a cliff, killing himself. His suicide has opened up memories of my sisters attempt and I am stumped as to why I cant remember anything after she was rescued. We have never got on over the years and for me she triggers old stuff and its stressful for me trying to relate. It like I don't trust her and I feel like she is superficial with me, and she doesn't want to talk about the past as I now realise how ot affected me and I feel quite traumatized by what she did and cant talk to her about it to get some resolution.
Also can't find from her as to what happened after she was rescued. Is this called disassociative memory and why does one not remember?
Any help appreciated