Nightmares and flashbacks

[Wounded-cop-1194]

Nightmares nightmares. Do these ever go away? Lately they seem to be getting more and more real and more frequent. Is there anything that I can do? Flashbacks are more frequent too. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Hidden]

Hi Wounded-cop-1194,

I hear you - nightmares and flashbacks suck, and feel like they'll never end.

There's a great post called "Dreams and Nightmares" by ChilliDawg ( healthunlocked.com/healmypt... ) that has some great thoughts about what part nightmares and dreams play in our PTSD world.

For me, the nightmares were signals, and trying to tell me something, like Chilli mentions. I don't have any clinical training on nightmares and flashbacks, but I was forced to begin dealing with them out of desperation in the '80s, when there was little support for PTSD. My world was going out of control, and I was willing to try anything to get out of the cycle I was in.

My nightmares and flashbacks were about repressed memories - events I couldn't remember. I kept having flashbacks of events I didn't remember at all - and they'd be like feeling memories - it was awful. Then I had a nightmare about a man chasing me with a gun. I got trapped, turned and looked, and the man was my Dad. I knew that was trying to tell me something.

I did some inner child work, and got back to the origin of the nightmare. It wasn't the end of the road, but at least gave me a starting point. There were several times when I went through what I would call a "feeling memory" where I experienced a violent incident with my Dad. It sounds dumb to do something like that, but it helped me release it.

I had a sponsor in the ACA 12 step program who was also a therapist. He told me abuse memories are stored in our bodies "at the cellular level." The feeling memory was me letting go of what I was too numb to feel at the time. I did a lot of shaking - my legs would shake for a long time. I've seen recently they've formalized that into Trauma Release Exercises (TRE), a body's natural way of trying to let go of trauma. I saw a CNN special on PTSD, and it showed a WWI soldier just out of combat, sitting in a ditch shaking violently - that's what I was doing. I was so desperate I tried it - and it worked.

Yes, the nightmares and flashbacks went away. When I was trying to get away from them, they kept chasing me. When I confronted and released the old feelings, they resolved.

Dan

[Wounded-cop-1194 in reply to Hidden]

Dan thanks for the response. I always wondered why I would shake so bad after a critical incident. Now I know

[Hidden in reply to Wounded-cop-1194]

You're welcome. Yeah, the shaking was a puzzle until I figured out how it fit in.

[MicheleR Founder]

I had the same nightmare over and over for over 20 years --- then I got into serious recovery mode and slowly: the nightmare morphed to a repetitive bad dream that then shifted slowly to just a dream as the content changed from danger to triumph (rather than be chased by an attacker I hunted him -- funny how the mind works, eh?). By the end of my recovery the dream stopped altogether. I've never had another one since. It's been almost 10 years.

Today, one of my favorite resources about this topic is a radio interview I did with an expert in PTSD and dream therapy. For tips on what to do listen to him explain how to change your nightmares. He also works live with a caller to the show:

changeyouchoose.com/using-y...

[Wounded-cop-1194 in reply to MicheleR]

Thanks Michelle. Part of my nightmares are almost always my gun malfunctions and I can't defend myself. Which is common with most cops. I usually wake up before he gets to me. But incident happened over 18 years ago. This is only one of the many critical incidents I have gone through over my 26 years on the job. I will listen to the interview. Thanks for the forum.

[MicheleR Founder in reply to Wounded-cop-1194]

So glad you're here. You've lived such a brave life supporting others; very glad we can offer support back to you now.

[MicheleR Founder]

Your link was good! We did 3 interviews in a progressive series; they're all linked from the first post.

[689908]

I had bad nightmares about 6-18 months after a traumatic event.

With counselling and time they lessened. But when they happened it was pretty scary.