so often

[peacefulandcalm]

triggered, that I don't know who I am anymore.

Just trying to survive every day.

And all the abuse and trauma, the cptsd, all the doctors, not able to know who I am in all this.

Just a life of trauma.

Lost.

Gabor Mate talks about all this.

I have been listening to him and have his book to read.

I dissociate.

I don't know if I should tell representative for my SSDI case how to present case so we can win the most or he will be offended? I don't know how to deal with egos.

should I call or email him instead of wait until the day before hearing June 15th, when he does not have enough time to prepare, and judge said no to his request apparently to postpone hearing.

how do I stay positive please when I trust none of them, I want and need to be able to force the law in the face of judge so as to win plenty of money so I don't have to get abused for money, to pay for treatment for my cptsd.

guys, I am overwhelmed with things. Please pray for me?and that I figure out how to do it all, there is so much rage, and cptsd and uncertainty, now knowing what I should do for the whole thing.

so some dissociating happening. Forgot , I think, this post is about a couple things.

<3

[Nathalie99 Partner]

That's okay, there is a lot on your mind right now and the chaos of the triggers translates to posts but it's okay not to be okayYou are doing a great job...honestly

Gabor Mate is a great resource.

Others are Bessel van der Kolk, Peter Levine, Pat Ogden and many more. There are some resources free sometimes so it is tricky as it is usually limited time only but you can subscribe and see what they offer.

They are highly renowned experts in trauma.

Regarding the representative - how about asking him what he prefers? You can write your concerns about not enough time and see what he responds.

I am sorry so much is going on but maybe things will finally go in the right direction.

I will pray...

[peacefulandcalm Encourager in reply to Nathalie99]

thank you Nathalie very much, what you said helped me to feel better. My neck hurts and the bump is so big, but I think I have an MRI scheduled by my new pcp when I can do it...<3

thank you for very good suggestions about represent. , I will do what you suggested. I am crying a lot, and in some pain, so I will do represent. stuff in the early am most likely when it is coolest....yeah, a lot of triggering things happening, just taking moment at a time...thank you...<3

[Hidden]

I will pray for you and> everything will work out. I totally understand what you mean when you said -"I don't know if I should tell representative for my SSDI case how to present case so we can win the most or he will be offended? I don't know how to deal with egos."

I'm the same way. Sending love and light to you. Hugs

[peacefulandcalm Encourager in reply to Hidden]

thank you so much Swilly, that made me feel very good and thank you for praying <3

[Hidden]

Hugs

[Dolphin14 Moderator]

peacefulandcalm

I'm sorry you are going through this.

It's hard when your financial future is put in the hands of someone else.

Mental illness isn't as cut and dry as something like a heart condition. I feel like we have to " prove" more.

This is a very triggering situation.

I would bring up everything to your representative. There should be no judgement on their part as to information you offer.

Thinking of you and wishing you the best of luck with this

❤️🐬

[peacefulandcalm Encourager in reply to Dolphin14]

thank you Dolphin, I called him and will wait till he calls me back, representative. Will make list of what I need to talk to him about...thank you...I feel scared, heat and ac do deal with too, but taking moment by moment, thank you....<3

[PNIAuthor60 Major Contributor]

Take a deep breath to settle your nervous system and besides all the reading, what can you do to nourish yourself in the midst of all the things you are struggling to cope with? What gives you a sense of relaxation? You are certainly dealing with a lot and it might be a bit easier to manage if you broke down what you needed and from whom. I am keeping you in my prayers - I believe in your capacity to handle the circumstances before you @peacefulandcalm

[peacefulandcalm Encourager]

thank you PNIAuthor, I appreciate it a lot. and for prayers. I am scared, but I am going to do what you suggested, and take time every day to exercise, read Bible, pray, read spiritual things and calm myself...thank you...<3

[PNIAuthor60 Major Contributor in reply to peacefulandcalm]

Your welcome, keeping you in my prayers