Sorry I've been AWOL

Did I let you know that my hubby has been diagnosed with bladder cancer? Anyway, that's been the reason for my absence, though I've still been reading the updates that come into my inbox. Its gone from me being the cared for and retiring to a ground floor adapted flat to me trying to look after him! In the end we've looked after each other, not always very well.

We've moved 40 minutes away from established family and friends, Himself has had chemotherapy, and we've been on a roller coaster while trying to make the decision for surgery or other options. In the end it was easy and pretty much the only choice was surgery - so in early February (when he's recovered from chemo) he will have massive surgery to remove his bladder and create a stoma. Another learning curve.

Its very difficult when you're vulnerable yourself, and there have been lots of times when I've dissolved into desperate tears and said to God "I don't think I can do this", but somehow I have. Wonderful friends from our "before" life have trailed back and forth, collected him and taken him back to Preston where all his treatment is being done. What we would have done without them heaven only knows!

So he's had his last chemo for now and we've got a little window in which to enjoy a family Christmas and start to organise ourselves for what is to come. Shall I try and get behind the wheel again (after 9 years) or is that just crazy? How will I organise shopping etc? Local Macmillan have been fantastic, and we'll make it somehow, but forgive me if I'm not around much - its not about me having Fibromyalgia any more.

11 Replies

  • So sorry to hear your hubbys news. its such a shock when you find out I was with my dad when they told him .He did have the operation and 7 years later was still with us i know its not the same for every one but he still went on hoilday to spain. He was 83 when he did pass .Big hugs to you both xxxx

  • I am so sorry to hear about your husband. I hope all gos well with his surgery. This must be the most worrying and stressful time ever for you both right now.

    I hope you both can find happiness and peace this Christmas.

    Love Mo

  • Arrh so sorry to hear heart goes out to father had the same i looked after him well...i really hope you cope well for him bless you both HAPPY CHRISTMASXXX

  • Throwing you and your man a pinch of star dust to light any dark corner that sneaks up.

    Mr Tesco will deliver your shopping if you ask him nicely.

    Take care.

  • No wonder you haven't been about and who could blame you. In this instance your poor hubby comes first. It can't be easy. I hope the chemo wasn't too hard on him, it use to make my mum feel really ill.

    I really hope you can enjoy your family Christmas and in the new year your hubby has his operation and life improves greatly for you both.

    Rather than driving can you get groceries delivered? it might save you a little bit of aggravation and worry.

    Wishing you a stress free Christmas, all my hopes that the New Year brings both you and your hubby a healthier, happy time :)

  • Sorry to hear that you've going through such a difficult time, as you say it's so hard looking after someone else when you are not feeling well yourself but of course you find the strength from somewhere , things seem to sort themselves out after all the worrying , I hope you have a good and peaceful Christmas as possible, take care

  • I do hope all goes well with the operation. My brother in law also has bladder cancer, Oh taking him for another bout of all day chemo on Xmas Eve.

    If you are thinking of driving again after such a gap it would be good just to have a couple of refresher lessons to build up your confidence again.

    Fingers crossed for you both.x

  • I want to genuinely and sincerely wish you both all the best of luck.

    All my hopes and dreams for you both.


  • Oh i am so sorry to hear of your husbands illness. I have missed you on site and wondered why you wernt around.

    All i can say is that i hope you have a peacfull Christmas and that all goes well in the new year.

    Lot of hugs and best wishes to you both.


  • wishing you both strength and love. and not forgetting gentle Christmas hugs too :) x

  • Just sending you both my best wishes and hope that you can be strong for each other. It must be so hard for you both, especially at this time of year. Do hope all goes well for your husbands operation. Hugs MariLiz x

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