cant do this anymore

Hello im so low and really fed up of feeling like rubbish.Im sick of not being able to do normal things without feeling nervous or anxious and having symptoms.Im sitting hear crying dont feel ive got anybody to talk too.My dad dont understand he just says dont start being like this upsetting yourself but cant help it.Im always analyzing myself which i know its making me feel worse sensitising myself more but i cant stop.I went out this morn just to local shops and i felt awful that suffocating feeling again and real bad balance all i wanted to do was get out the shop.I said to myself just come if ur guna come as i could feel the anxiety rising and the adrenaline rising .I stayed in the shop didnt buy anything though just walked around slowly then walked home.I just dont know what to do with myself got lots going on at the mo aswell.Dads got a viewing to go into sheltered housing which im pleased about but im worrying how im going to manage living on my own financially aswell as emotionally.He is worried about leaving me and me living on my own.I havent really got any reliable friends either theyve all got partners and kids and i feel the odd one out.All these thoughts too plus im really missing my mum i feel like a child again just want a mum hug tell me everything will be ok.I know ive got my sisters but we not that close they dont really bother with me much not really supportive.Just as i thought a few weeks back maybe im making progress but im still finding going out to my local shops hard and its been nearly 4 months now.I feel so alone i didnt wanna get dressed this morn but forced myself too and now im getting stronger sensations cos im crying but i know what it is emotional fatigue.Im 37 years old no partner or kids not by choice this anxiety problem has held me back alot over the years 7 1/2 years dont feel i have a life yes i go out everyday now locally and in the car locally just feel like lifes passing me by.All i keep thinking is im creating more stress for myself how can i desensitise when im constantly sensitised?this is a nitemare i dont want to carry on feeling like this day in day out.Sorry guys all i seem to do is moan and im sorry i havent given anybody advice lately dont feel i can help anybody while feeling like i do.

claire

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  • My goodness what a bubbly photograph.....yes I know, no-one really knows what goes on behind our mask.....and sometimes we go on putting on a "face" for the outside world...xx

    I have compassion for the way you feel as I suffered anx/dep for many years, but now i,m well so don,t despair...your mind will tell you that it is always going to be like this, but do not believe it.....you can get well, maybe even in a better place than you,ve been...trust me!

    The first thing I would like to comment on is this feeling of being alone.....this eminates from an anxious mind.....and this also put us in a "poor me" frame of mind (totally normal feeling under the circumstances). But as you get well you will change your view from "bieng alone" to bieng FREE.....yes you will be free to do what you want...is this not a better perspective?

    Financially .....you will never be out on the street (this was my train off thought...lol) although you say your are not that close to your family, i,m sure they would not let this happen..and money!!!! well I had it all and yet never had peace of mind....now I don,t and yet I am content. I know which one I,d choose!!!!!

    You didn,t mention whether you were in employment...But even before your dad finds sheltered housing go to "Money Matters" or your local citizen advice and tell them your position and ask what (if any) help you can get (council tax rebates etc.) you may get a surprise, there is help sometimes we need to ask!!!

    You feel the way you do because you have had negative thoughts for so long your mind thinks this is the norm...to break the habit accept first off all this is how it is at the moment,I feel you should confide in someone you can trust...you need to download....a good friend..or if desparate phone breathing space or samaritans..don,t feel embarrassed it is anonomous anyway.

    and if you have not already been...visit your doctor and tell him EXACTLY how you are feeling as this helps prescibe meds........and don,t feel a failure like I did they may be the best thing at present to give your head a much needed rest...do not continue to fight this alone, you will get better quicker with help.....

    Going out/panic attacks...the secret is not to feed the fear...I used to talk to them in my head and say "what are you wanting this time, ok give me your best shot" and when it passed i,d say "huh is that the best you can do?"...smile because they are not part of you, they are a visitor...you were not born like this. And the more you do this the less fear and guess what ..they will get weaker and maybe even dissappear......you are in a way ridiculing them...and they cannot exist in this enviroment..

    As you get better, join a club/gym/line dancing..lol/walking club anything that gets you to make new friends, as we are social biengs and with that bubbly attractive smile you will succeed......speak soon......keep downloading lol......xxx

  • hello thankyou for your help yesterday im not to bad today coping a bit better.Some days i can accept feelings more than others.I dont know what id do without this forum its so nice to have the support and know we are not alone anymore.Ive been therapy today so has helped a bit.Ive ordered a yoga dvd and im hoping to go yoga classes in the near future.Thankyou for your support and help.Lots of love xxxxx

  • Hello clairerep, how are you feeling now? I hope you're a better! I think stde has said it all hun.

    Have a good cry (get the tension out) it usually helps me a lot.

    And keep posting we're all here if you need a chat x

  • hello im not bad today coping a bit better how are u?does help to have a good cry this anxiety is like a roller coaster ride.Thankyou for your help its really appreciated i hope u are ok too x

  • Hi Claire, Hello love , not seen you for a while but I did wonder what you were up to? Well love from a fresh pair of eyes I read about a lovely lady who has gone from being a quivering wreck who had to be escorted to the shop to a lady who walks freely around the shop! Yes you are getting the anxiety symptoms, but you are coping with them and getting out. Back to basics lovie and accept that you have this stupid anxiety. It's only a set back and we have them all the time. This doesn't mean you have gone back to square one Claire. You are just having a blip! and feeling lonely. You won't forget what you have already learnt. You have a lot of new things coming up that would cause anxiety to the person that never heard of it!!!lol. I live on my own and know this can be a big problem or a blessing in some cases. Here is a hug for you Claire {{{{Claire}}}} Try the breathing exercises again and keep em up. I bet you forgot them ;)! come on darling we can do this. We have done it before???and you are not alone, we are all here for you. The stupid government are throwing me out of my home this year because I have an extra bedroom ( bedroom tax ) so it's all change. Which I hate as well. One day at a time babe and we will get there together Lots of Love and Hugs x Ella x

  • It's true. One day at a time.

  • very true x

  • Hello Ella how are u?sorry not been on much ive been very down lately and dont like to constantly moan on here and sensitise anybody else.I had therapy today talked some stuff out and i actually realised how far i have come im doing alot more now than i used to like going out alone sometimes,and no walking stick or chair and going out in the car more locally.I write everything down now too a success book so i can keep track on my progress despite how i feel.Its those thoughts (gremlins at me) and my imagination i need to learn not to buy into them as they are only thoughts.I havent been practicing breathing much but i will do again and ive ordered a yoga dvd so that will help all being well i can do it lol .That is horrible how can the government do that?will they offer u another place?i hate to think of u being homeless.We should all live together lol imagine that he he x sending u a huge hug back im here if u need me your like the mum to me on here your a blessing to everyone.Thankyou lots of love xx claire xxx

    Reply to this

  • Aw Claire love that's lovely! you can be part of my family if you want to be. My eldest girl is 43 today and youngest is 30 on Sunday. I won't be homeless love just moved into a 1 bedroom flat and I don't want to go. I've just written to my M P so will see what happens eh? Don't ever be worried about coming on here with your worries....you are not moaning love, it's perfectly natural to feel how you feel. You are not going to upset anyone else! in fact you are helping the hundreds that read and feel they can't post their worries. You are brave Claire...and I am very proud and protective of you :). Fantastic you had someone to talk to today. Sometimes we forget how far we have come don't we? We have to realise we are not going backwards but learning all the time. It's a great idea having a success book to look back at too! and good luck with the yoga! lol I'm sure you will manage it without getting tied in knots. Keep going onwards and upwards love, and keep in touch my little lass, Lots of Love and Hugs x Ella x

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